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To be fuming with lazy DH...?

(26 Posts)
MrsWolowitz Mon 01-Oct-12 17:28:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InfinityWelcomesCarefulDrivers Mon 01-Oct-12 17:30:19

Oh tht is ridiculous. You have to remind a grown man to was his hands and not put tea bags in the dishwasher? Not petty at all, how has he got to adulthoold without the basic skills to take car of himself?

Floralnomad Mon 01-Oct-12 17:32:20

TBH it sounds like you treat him like a child so why should he behave any differently? I cannot even imagine reminding a grown man to wash his hands! Perhaps he acts thick so that he won't be asked to do stuff around the house.

MrsWolowitz Mon 01-Oct-12 17:34:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floralnomad Mon 01-Oct-12 17:37:21

How old is he , could he have the onset of pre senile dementia ?

InfinityWelcomesCarefulDrivers Mon 01-Oct-12 17:39:34

Floral it sound like he's always been like this

MrsWolowitz Mon 01-Oct-12 17:40:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

McHappyPants2012 Mon 01-Oct-12 17:44:25

this would annoy the hell out of me.

Put a notice on the dishwasher * scrap all food off before loading* and i wouldn't remind him to wash his hands

attheendoftheday Mon 01-Oct-12 19:13:38

Leave him to clean out the dishwasher and rewash the dishes?

G1nger Mon 01-Oct-12 19:16:00

What's going through his head? Is it laziness or does he have a disorder?

MammaTJisWearingGold Mon 01-Oct-12 19:17:53

He does such stupid things, loses things, breaks things, I can't sum up just how careless he is with everyday chores.

Is he by any chance dyslexic? Just because that sentence ring true with dyslexia.

Other than that, no excuxe for poor hygeine or for not binning scraps before loading the dishwasher.

HecateHarshPants Mon 01-Oct-12 19:18:42

I assume he is fully functioning in the workplace and organised when it comes to his hobbies and interests?

If so, then it sounds like he thinks domestic stuff is beneath him.

If he drops things constantly, can't remember anything and can't learn even the most simple of tasks in all aspects of his life, including the workplace, then I suggest you cart him off to the doctor, in case there's something that needs addressing.

squeakytoy Mon 01-Oct-12 19:24:22

I have never in the 12 years of knowing my husband, asked him if he has washed his hand. I dont even ask him what he has been doing in the bathroom, never mind knowing if he has had a poo!

I dont always rinse food off plates before I bung them in the dishwasher either...

Chelvis Mon 01-Oct-12 19:33:20

My DH can be like this, although it is taught helplessness - MIL has never expected her 'babies', especially (God Forbid!) the boys, to do anything in the household. He is capable and respected at work, so clearly not as stupid as he can be at home. I no longer sort out his messes for him - if he loads food into the dishwasher, I stand over him and tell him how to clean it and reload it, but no bloody way am I doing it. Feels like I nag a lot sad it's very annoying.

Fairylea Mon 01-Oct-12 19:39:19

That's just awful.

Give him a week of paper plates until he can learn to scrape them in the bin. Even my 9 yr old does this. Or present him witha bill for unblocking the drains....

As for the hand washing thing... words fail me. I'd just refuse to have sex with him until he improved his personal hygiene.

(Says this as dh is meanwhile tidying and loading stuff in dishwasher properly after I cooked dinner)!

InfinityWelcomesCarefulDrivers Mon 01-Oct-12 19:43:58

I'd be asking him if he'd washed his hands if I suspected he hadn't and he was about to feed the baby

Bigpants1 Mon 01-Oct-12 19:49:36

Don't know re Dyslexia, but sounds a lot like Dyspraxia-losing things, breaking things, carelessness, poor planning ability, innatention to detail etc.
The suggestion of putting a note on the Dishwasher could be a good idea as well as a Sign/Picture of Handwashing in the bathroom-you could say its for all the family.
I don't think the op cant not ask her dh if he's washed his hands-would you want a cup of tea/dinner/holding yours or the dc hands after someone going to the loo & not washing hands afterwards.

Fairylea Mon 01-Oct-12 20:05:49

I have dyspraxia. I am nothing like the ops lazyarse dh. If anything I am mildly ocd when it comes to housework... it's the only thing I'm good at ! smile

LaQueen Mon 01-Oct-12 20:17:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsWolowitz Tue 02-Oct-12 07:42:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flyoverthegoldenhill Tue 02-Oct-12 08:18:22

Chelvis is right. I know people with dyspraxia and dyslexia, they can all wash their hands. Let this be a lesson to parents of boys -teach them how to do chores, otherwise look out in 20 years for the same thread and you will be the Mil

WaitingForMe Tue 02-Oct-12 08:34:06

DH and DSS1 are both dyspraxic and it does affect their ability to do basic tasks as they are easily distracted but that doesn't mean it's an acceptable excuse.

DH is on routines for his share of the housework or needs reminding every time by me so he does big jobs (eg. Vacuum entire house on Wednesdays and Sundays) and DSS1 has a clock without batteries where his gaze rests at the dinner table and he earns XBox time by eating his tea properly (he drifts off and will take hours). I work with it to help them but I do not tolerate it.

Bottom line, a refusal to try to improve is a demonstration of disrespect regardless of whether there's a condition or not.

flagnogbagnog Tue 02-Oct-12 08:50:19

OP you could be describing my husband here. He does the dishwasher thing and fails to wash his hands. Just yesterday he changed dc's poopy nappy and just carried on with his day, no hand washing. Wouldn't be so bad if dc wasn't recovering from a tummy bug. I did remind him to wash his hands because there are 5 other people in this family to think of.

I have no advice. I hate nagging, so I try not to, but inwardly seethe when I have to wash everything by hand after it's already been in the dishwasher. It's just his way of getting stuff done, cutting any corners he can.

For some reason, some things just do not stay in his brain. I have asked him millions of times not to store baby milk in the door of the fridge, as I've read that it's not cold enough. Sure enough everytime I open the fridge door he'll have put the milk there. I think he just 'wings' everything. It's his attitude to life really.

margerykemp Tue 02-Oct-12 08:56:58

Ew not washing his hands. That's 5 year old behaviour not 38 yrold!

Stop doing any work for him until he grows up. No washing, cooking cleaning, childcare.

joanofarchitrave Tue 02-Oct-12 08:58:24

I suppose ask him why he's doing this stuff; at least that will give you an answer.

Sounds infuriating. Trying to get my ds to wash his hands after the toilet is a struggle. If DH wasn't absolutely in there, setting a good example and doing his share of the nagging, there'd be no hope. Does he not see that his children will copy him?

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