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To not give dd money for her dance classes?

(38 Posts)
NopofacehaveI Mon 01-Oct-12 10:50:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NopofacehaveI Mon 01-Oct-12 10:51:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy Mon 01-Oct-12 10:53:05

I dont think it is fair to expect her to pay out of her pocket money for her dance lessons. Reduce the amount of pocket money rather than have her pay for her lesson out of it.

How much are you giving her?

expatinscotland Mon 01-Oct-12 10:53:38

Why is she paying for dance lessons out of pocket money? I think I'd stop that right now and pay for the lessons by the term, then cut her pocket money to spend on mags/sweets.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Mon 01-Oct-12 10:53:50

Personally, I see dance as something that will benefit her in too many ways for it to be one of her personal luxuries, and I see things like that as a parents responsibility to pay for. My dc are made to budget for toys or games or clothes they may want, by not for things that are educational.

aldiwhore Mon 01-Oct-12 10:54:25

I would deduct the cost of the dance class so that is always covered.

Much as I agree with you that she needs to learn to budget, I think maybe that's a little too much responsibility for a 9/10 year old. Softly softly.

Let her budget her POCKET money, pocket money being stuff that is allocated to a specific thing. Keep the dance class money separate - for now.

YANBU just expecting too much just now.

halcyondays Mon 01-Oct-12 10:54:33

I don't think dance lessons should have to be paid for out of her pocket money. Pocket money should be for things like sweets or could be saved up to buy a toy.

aldiwhore Mon 01-Oct-12 10:55:08

Not allocated to a specific thing. Sorry

freddiefrog Mon 01-Oct-12 10:55:14

Depends how much pocket money you give her.

We pay for our DD's lessons/clubs/scouts/etc and then give them a couple of quid a week pocket money which they spend on crap in the co-op

WorraLiberty Mon 01-Oct-12 10:55:24

What squeaky said.

Dance lessons and pocket money don't really go together in the same sentence for me.

bowerbird Mon 01-Oct-12 10:55:26

OP I appreciate that you're trying to get her to budget. But dance classes are not your DD's responsibility. At all. They are part of her education.

Take the dance class out of the equation. Give her less pocket money. So if she blows it, she ends up with no sweets or magazines or treats, but nothing major.

mumeeee Mon 01-Oct-12 10:58:08

I agree with others. Expecting her to pay for her Dance classes out of her pocket money is a bit to much. We always paid for clubs and classes on top of pocket money. How much pocket money does she get?

NopofacehaveI Mon 01-Oct-12 10:58:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NopofacehaveI Mon 01-Oct-12 11:01:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OptimisticPessimist Mon 01-Oct-12 11:01:58

I don't think extra-curricular activities should come out of pocket money. If you can't afford to do all the activities she wants to do (time OR money-wise) then she needs to drop one - give her the choice of which one.

Pocket money should cover frivolous luxuries, such as cinema or other activities with friends, extra CDs or books, extra or specific items of clothing she wants.

freddiefrog Mon 01-Oct-12 11:02:36

If she's getting enough money to cover the cost of a dance lesson and a have some spending money left over, I'd just deduct the cost and give her the rest.

My eldest is given a couple of quid a week to spend how she sees fit. She usually spends it the first day as she's still getting to grips with making it last a week.

squeakytoy Mon 01-Oct-12 11:03:35

"She's paying for her dance lesson because I pay for violin and two activities and said I couldn't afford any more lessons when she asked to do another class so dd said if she could do the class she would pay herself for it out of the money my parents give her weekly"

I am confused now.. so you dont give her pocket money, your parents do?

NopofacehaveI Mon 01-Oct-12 11:04:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NopofacehaveI Mon 01-Oct-12 11:05:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bowerbird Mon 01-Oct-12 11:05:15

Optomist is right. If you can't afford to do all the activities dump one of them - don't put it on your daughter!

squeakytoy Mon 01-Oct-12 11:05:42

How much does the dance class cost then? Why not ask your parents to give it to you for that rather than give it to her. £8+ is way too much IMO for a 9 year olds pocket money.

Pandemoniaa Mon 01-Oct-12 11:07:13

I don't think it is reasonable to ask her to budget for dance classes. Instead, if you can't afford to pay for them then either she stops them or you take the money for them from her before she has a chance to spend it. Or perhaps you ask her to choose the activities she most wants to do and keep it to an affordable level. Because it isn't just your dd who is affected by her failure to get to dance classes if she blows the money on the sort of pocket money crap so beloved of dcs.

I think it's a really good idea to teach your dcs about budgetting but I think you need to start with a modest sum that goes on sweets, magazines, cinema, for example. That way she can prioritise her spending but initially, on pocket money things. My dcs were very much older before I expected their allowances to fund their out of school activities and even then, I'd always pay for music classes.

QuickLookBusy Mon 01-Oct-12 11:08:07

Well as you are paying for lots of other things, if she really wants to do dance lessons as well, that they should come out of her pocket money.

How much are they?

Pandemoniaa Mon 01-Oct-12 11:09:25

PS. Just seen other posts and agree that £8 is far too much. A fiver would be more than enough pocket money. If the grandparents want to give her more then they give it to you and you can choose whether to save it or put it towards classes.

DeWe Mon 01-Oct-12 11:12:15

I disagree. I'd make her miss it.

I assume when you chose how much pocket money you gave, you included her dance lesson in the amount. She's spent it, so if you now pay for it, she's just gained extra pocket money.

You could let her have an advance and pay it back over the next 2 week's pocket money.

We're going to do similar with dd1 shortly. We will work out what we expect her to spend over the year including things like dance classes and piano lessons, and she will get it monthly, and have to work out how much to save over the holidays so she can pay for the clubs she does during the term. She's very excited about this, and has already discussed budgetting and how to put a bit aside for unexpected treats and stuff like that.

When dd2 comes to it, it will be a sharp learning curve for her, as she spends what she has in, but it will help her to be better with money in the end.

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