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WIBU to have finally broken down in front of my LO's as my boy had worn me down with whinging all day

(17 Posts)
cfc Sat 29-Sep-12 21:15:52

Background is I am 35 weeks (nearly) pg and have been sick from start to finish. I have never been so sick and tired and sore. My last two pgs were amazing and I flew through them, having never felt so fit in all of my life. Needless to say this one is terrible, and I am dying for it to be over.

Was awoken last night by the boy shouting and screaming at the girl who was moaning in her sleep - it was like someone was being murdered up there and I don't know how the neighbours aren't up in arms with me today (they are lovely). Also, husband is away working at the mo..sobs.

I have tried to get out today as the boy 3.5 needs to be out and about, as does the girl, 2 (nearly) though she's less of the whinger than him. SO we went to a nursery friend's party and had a lovely time. Came home and played in the playroom for a while, they are surrounded by an embarrassment of riches in terms of toys and I am doing my best to play with them.

The whinging continued for one reason or another. And in the end, after what seemed like a torture camp of 12 hours I just burst into tears and asked him why he was moaning so much. Why was he so unhappy. He was fed, watered, playing...

My mum said this won't do him any harm. And that he'll grow out of it - she gave me a couple of examples of friends' little boys who also whinge and said it was a boy thing and it will get better.

I suppose my question is, behind all this self-pity (!!) was I out of order to breakdown in front of him and will it do him good, as my DM said, to see that we (his parents) are fallible? He is a sensitive soul when it suits him and he didn't like to see me upset at all, but he wasn't inconsolable by any stretch.

I couldn't help dissolving into tears in front of them (the girl didn't care!).

When will the whinging get better?

squeakytoy Sat 29-Sep-12 21:18:46

It wont have done him any harm at all.. but honestly it will not make any difference either. He is a toddler.. whinging is what they do best.. and two toddlers just increases that whinging.

Your kids are very close together in age, and you are going to have your work cut out for a while, so it is just a case of telling yourself it will get better.. one day they will be out of their teens grin

Can your mum not have them for a couple of days just to give you a bit of a break and rest.

WorraLiberty Sat 29-Sep-12 21:20:23

I was just going to say your kids are very close together and that can be just as tough/sometimes tougher on the kids as well as the parents.

The whinging will eventually stop but it's certainly not a 'boy thing' so be prepared for your DD to start too I'm afraid grin

Slothlorien Sat 29-Sep-12 21:21:26

YANBU
You are human. You are pregnant, and doing your very best.
Won't do him any harm to realise that his behaviour is having an effect on how you feel.
The whinging does get better. Next time he does it, say 'what a funny noise, you sound like this ........' Then do an impression of the whinge. this makes my whinger laugh and breaks the spell. for a bit.
Hang in there. the best thing about a difficult pregnancy is that when it is over, life with a newborn is easy, as you won't be pregnant anymore. Come on here to moan anytime.

tunnocksteacake Sat 29-Sep-12 21:24:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty Sat 29-Sep-12 21:25:07

Judging by some threads on MN, it never stops grin

<< Unhelpful >>

Slothlorien Sat 29-Sep-12 21:26:20

Get your phone out and film him at his worst for future revenge!

squeakytoy Sat 29-Sep-12 21:26:26

"Does anyone know when the whinging stops?!"

This will not help anyone, but I have 3 stepkids, the youngest is 25 years old, and they still all whinge!! The male one is the worst and always has been. grin

They were all very close together too, and my husband says there was never ever any peace when they were little.

It wont do him any harm. You are human and he should learn that his behaviour has an affect on others.

He will be back to whingeing tomorrow though Im afraid.

cfc Sat 29-Sep-12 21:34:11

Ha!! Mum was meant to visit this weekend but another set back with my sister (WHOLE other thread) and I've genuinely never needed her more. I'm hoping it's not something he's going to be telling his shrink in 20 years about!

When DD starts I think I'll die! She's going to be MURDER with the noob. I can see it. DS didn't even notice DD for about 14 weeks! Then again she was always on the boob, so nobody else noticed her either.

I hope I'm not being unkind to him as he is a fantastic boy, but even my mum (who I suspect holds him as her fave) concedes he's a whinger...

Ps no family down here with us. sad

PatsysPyjamas Sat 29-Sep-12 21:36:37

Oh, I remember crying in front of my 3 year old DD several times while pregnant with DS. You can't help it! And I had terrible morning sickness the whole way through pregnancy and she used to come in and pat my back an say 'you'll be ok Mummy' while I was throwing up. I don't think she was at all effected by it.

Have you got the children's picture book We Are Wearing Out the Naughty Step? It is a favourite in our house and a v similar scenario - there are three little children of around your kids' age (as long as the baby is a boy!) and the two older ones play up until the mum snaps, loses her temper and the kids send her to the naughty step. It's a really lovely book. It ends: 'So, we are all naughty.' 'And we are all nice.'

DorisIsWaiting Sat 29-Sep-12 21:39:14

This too will pass- this too will pass - this too will pass!!

I had a hideous pregnancies everytime (3dds). However on a postive note when I finally delivered thank god! I felt so much better JUST dealing with the lack of sleep life surprisingly became easier.... I had more energy than I had had in months.

I've cried iun front of the dc's regarding their behaviou, I don't believe it has done them any long term harm, it let them know they really had gone beyond the pale (mine are 7,5 and 3 now). Do not beat yourself up over it honestly.

cfc Sat 29-Sep-12 21:54:34

He's so sweet when I'm knocked out on the couch and they're on their third cycle of the Peppa Pig DVD and he goes and gets me his Lightening McQueen gel pack from the fridge to put on my head. There's empathy there for sure, but he's a moaner, for sure...and will be tomorrow too, I know!! Hopefully tomorrow will be better after a better night's sleep and some anti-sickness tablets - we have been relying on friends down here to feed us all as I can't manage cooking and my husband's been away so much (and can't cook anyway) so tomorrow we have an open invite to friends' house from 9.30am + for R&R and Sunday Lunch. I'm very lucky really. Very lucky.

Roll on 6 weeks...roll on 16 years!! Kidding, don't wish their lives away cfc.

FishfingersAreOK Sat 29-Sep-12 22:12:43

Try marbles. If he asks for something without whinging he gets to put a marble in a jar. If the jar is full at the end of the day (or split into morning/afternoon/bedtime) he gets a treat. However, if he whinges you need to take a marble out.

Treats - get some wooden stirrers from the coffee shop and write a load of things on them - dancing with mummy, a story, something from the sweetie jar, a TV show, a piggy back, doing a jigsaw with mummy. He picks a stick - you tell him his treat. Low cost. And not saying I ever ever read the stick "wrong" - ie realising a sweet at that time would be bad as eg just before tea/just done teeth.

And this too shall pass...

FishfingersAreOK Sat 29-Sep-12 22:15:29

Oh and I did the breakdown in front of DS and DD yesterday. You are human.. I think it is a good thing they realise that. You need a cuddle too.

neverputasockinatoaster Sat 29-Sep-12 22:36:25

I cried in the car today and I'm not PG and DH was driving! DD was shrieking and DH was being a grumpy arse and I burst into tears.

So, no, YANBU!

cfc Sun 30-Sep-12 20:09:41

Thank you all.

Human I am! We've spent the day witih friends who fed us and the man of the house took out our boys and we the girls all napped! Oh it was so nice.

I feel like this baby is on its way though. All morning I was so uncomfortable and was reminded of labours past but anyway, nothing came of it but I was thankful to have friends to go to!

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