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In thinking this child's parents should pick him up?

(111 Posts)
WhatAFlange Sat 29-Sep-12 19:48:50

Dc has a new friend and they have become quite close.

Friend was here yesterday and about 7pm said he was going home. I asked if his parents were picking him up and he said no.

Now, he lives about 3 miles away and to walk home must go down a long country road. It's at the bottom of woodland and has a path near the road which is hidden behind bushes all the way along with sparse street lights. No houses along the way, no nothing, just dense trees.

Needless to say, I drove him home. It is not safe for a 13 year old to do that walk alone at anytime, nevermind in the pitch dark.

He is here again today and of course, if his parents don't collect him I will drive him home myself. I'm happy to, and apart from that, if anything happened to him on his way home I would never forgive myself.

But, aibu to think that his parents shouldn't just leave him to it and hope for the best?

I wouldn't walk that road myself, never mind let dc walk it alone in the dark.

hermioneweasley Sat 29-Sep-12 19:53:36

YANBU. It sounds terrifying

squeakytoy Sat 29-Sep-12 19:54:40

At 13, I would say you are being a bit over protective, it will soon be dark at 5pm, would you not let a teenager out in the dark then? At what age would you deem them capable of being responsible for their own safety?

Thinkability Sat 29-Sep-12 19:55:31

Is it any safer for him to cycle home? I just wonder.

What about him giving you two rings on the phone when he arrives home if you're concerned? Or even telling him to ring his parents to tell them when he's setting off home. I think parents should be concerned but then again we're all different.

WhatAFlange Sat 29-Sep-12 19:55:42

Oh, it's not the fact that he's out, it's the walk he has to do and the route it takes

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sat 29-Sep-12 19:55:43

YANBU at all.

WhatAFlange Sat 29-Sep-12 19:56:18

Didn't think of cycling, but it would still be the same route

MrsRobertDuvallHasRosacea Sat 29-Sep-12 19:56:50

I would talk to his parents and say they should collect im, as it's not convenient for you to do this on a regular basis.
I wouldn't like that walk myself..3 miles is a long walk.

Sparklingbrook Sat 29-Sep-12 19:57:26

YANBU. I wouldn't let my 13 year old DS do that and would take his friends home if they had to.

Fine to be allowed out after dark, but not alone for a 3 mile walk in the dark. sad

anairofhope Sat 29-Sep-12 19:59:57

13yo is fine to walk home but i would have a word witg the parent and if they are ok with it then its their call.

WhatAFlange Sat 29-Sep-12 20:00:35

Hmm - I've not met his parents.

Maybe they don't have a car or are working or something, will try and find out. If that's the case, I'm happy to drop him off - it's nothing to drive, but a bugger to walk. Poor little sod only has a t-shirt on too and it's freezing outside sad

sleepdodger Sat 29-Sep-12 20:02:48

I used to live in middle of no where and did paper round on bike, about 5 miles total, from 13-15 yo
In winter it was fine but a couple of drives were a bit creepy
Walking any of it no way
That was then I'm old
Now- no way would I let ds- bike maybe till say 630pm with call to say back but only occasionally
Do u think parent have become so used to living tgere they've sort of forgotten its not that usual?

WhatAFlange Sat 29-Sep-12 20:06:20

Could be sleepdodger.

I've just asked him how he's getting home and he said walking, so getting ready to take him home.

WofflingOn Sat 29-Sep-12 20:17:15

You can't insist though, the parents may well turn round and say he's walking, and that you can drive him if you like but they won't.

Sparklingbrook Sat 29-Sep-12 20:19:28

I just couldn't let him walk. I couldn't. I would have to drop him home so I could sleep that night.

I am sad that there may be people who would expect their 13 year old DS to walk home. I would be picking him up if he were mine.

Rubirosa Sat 29-Sep-12 20:20:00

Well, I wouldn't walk 3 miles along a dark, deserted, poorly lit street so I wouldn't expect a child too. Surely that is just common sense?

Gumby Sat 29-Sep-12 20:23:02

Agree with rubirosa

Sparklingbrook Sat 29-Sep-12 20:26:17

Is it possible he has just told his parents he is off to his mates and not even said exactly where that is? They may be horrified he was going to walk home.

brdgrl Sat 29-Sep-12 20:27:17

It is the parents' call. I'd confirm with them that they are happy for him to walk, and perhaps make sure that they realise what the walk is like (if you think they may not already know). But it actually is very frustrating when other parents decide that your child needs something and take it upon themselves to do it.

Thinkability Sat 29-Sep-12 20:27:27

I would find out more about the parents. Do they invite you in when you drop him off?

We once moved to a new area, had my daughter's friend straight after school and took her home to her door. The parents didn't even appear to say thanks but i WAS MORE SHOCKED THAT THEY HADN'T EVEN MET US AND HAD BEEN HAPPY TO LEAVE T(oops! just realised I'm shouting) their daughter with complete strangers!!!!

secondseverncrossing Sat 29-Sep-12 20:29:15

Are you sure his parents know he's walking it?

suburbophobe Sat 29-Sep-12 20:29:20

But if you drive him home, you still haven't met the parents?

How does that work?

Cos if I was driving a friend of DC's home, I would wait till he was in the house. And presumably then would meet the one opening the door.

In this case I would definately want to meet them if I was feeling responsible for getting him home.

brdgrl Sat 29-Sep-12 20:29:32

thinkability, what age was your daughter? At 13, I'd be quite happy for DD to go to a friend's house without having to meet the parents first, and I'd think it a bit weird if the parents insisted on meeting me before letting their kid come to our's.

secondseverncrossing Sat 29-Sep-12 20:30:03

I only ask as I grew up in a fairly isolated village and used to want to use my own steam to get places and would regularly say 'X's mum is driving me' when really I was walking.

ScandinavianPrincess Sat 29-Sep-12 20:31:48

I remember my parents letting me walk home at night in the dark when I was 15. It was about a mile and my friend's parents rang mine incensed by it. My parents didn't give much of a shit tbh. I think you are not unreasonable at all. His parents ought to collect him. If cost of petrol etc isn't too much, perhaps you could do it once a week as it may be that his parents are just not beothered about his safety.

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