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To hope noone believes this horrible woman?

(11 Posts)
Softlysoftly Sat 29-Sep-12 15:28:59

Im living miles away from home and my friend group here are "mummy" friends but are amazing and get on really well minus kids, though one woman always seemed to want to be 1on1 and was a little intense and sharp tempered. Anyway I had another friend who I can have a real laugh with, talk to about things just generally have a strong relationship with, also met through DD1 who knew them all so I started inviting her to "group" meet ups, all well and good so I thought, everyone loves her.

We went out for a meal the other night and intense group woman didn't come (was invited), when the wine started flowing one slipped up about "social status" something or other then they all clammed up. I pushed it and they admitted the intense woman had been spouting to the group that I was only friends with new friend because her husband has money, they hadn't told me so it didn't upset me. But it bloody has!

Why would she say something like that? I'm so upset she's rocked a support group I need and love and am hoping (like they said) that they dismissed it, but shit sticks yes?

As for the social status we were secure, now screwed so not sure if I'm supposed to be a fucking kindred spirit or social climbing, all I know is our group is a mix financially and I couldn't give a shit angry.

Do I say something?

WorraLiberty Sat 29-Sep-12 15:46:14

Gosh I would've said something like "Is she on fucking drugs or what?"....laughed and then got on with eating my dinner.

Ask yourself why you're so bothered about her comment and then decide whether to say something or forget it.

MrsWolowitz Sat 29-Sep-12 15:50:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl Sat 29-Sep-12 15:51:27

Was the "new friend" also there?

Is so, she obviously doesn´t believe it.

Surely the others don´t either otherwise why invite you?

RobinSparkles Sat 29-Sep-12 15:53:41

Ime, they will probably see her as you see her (intense and sharp tempered). It doesn't sound as though they believe her, otherwise they probably wouldn't have invited you out again.

I would just ignore and move on but probably distance myself from her.

Kalisi Sat 29-Sep-12 15:57:00

You should also ask yourself the motive that your other 'friends' may have for telling you this information. It is obvious that saying these things would cause a shit storm so why tell you? I'm always a bit wary of people that take it upon themselves to reveal that someone else is 'bitching' about you. If they were so uncomfortable with what she was saying a simple "No, I don't think she's just friends with X for her money" would suffice. All sounds a bit petty

LynetteScavo Sat 29-Sep-12 15:59:16

They won't believe her.

She sounds like a loon.

Surely if you were just hanging around with the new friend for her social status, you would want to keep her to yourself, and not share her with the group.

THERhubarb Sat 29-Sep-12 16:03:25

They probably told her because this woman has been speaking to them one-2-one and they may be relieved to discover that nothing was said about them. When someone bitches to me about someone else I tend to steer clear because you never know what they are also saying about you.

It's now transpired that she's said this to everyone, so they all know what a bitch she is and will be reluctant to have anything more to do with her in case they get the same treatment.

I would make it clear to your friends that you are upset and that because of it you'd rather not invite her anymore. You don't need someone that negative in a support group.

Softlysoftly Sat 29-Sep-12 16:07:26

Yes new friend was there, she had been told by another member and was fairly adamant that all it did was make her shy away from intense woman as it must be her mind working that way to say it iyswim.

I think it bugs me because I got bullied as a kid for my family being well off.

I will forget it but a bit of me is itchy to confront horrible woman so she hasn't "won" though I realise that's me reverting to the age of 10 blush..

THERhubarb Sat 29-Sep-12 16:09:53

If you confront her, then she has won because she's provoked a reaction and she'll only say to you "methinks you doth protest too much" which will wind you up even more.

Just cut her off from the group. You won't be the first person she's done this to and you won't be the last. She's obviously got ishoos.

Softlysoftly Sat 29-Sep-12 16:10:39

Kalisi you do have a point DH said the same thing.

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