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To be a bit sad that on DD's 18th birthday...

(15 Posts)
balia Sat 29-Sep-12 09:31:26

She gets a card and a text from her (ex) stepmum, and some flowers from an ex boyfriend, and nothing from her Dad. Isn't that just a bit pathetic? And as well as not sending her a happy birthday message, he hasn't paid her CM in two months and lied and told them it is because she is going to University. (He knows she isn't. She only left school last year, she's doing her A-levels).

wonderstuff Sat 29-Sep-12 09:32:43

YANBU what a dick.

OrangeImperialGoldBlether Sat 29-Sep-12 09:42:00

I know you shouldn't have to, but in this situation I would phone him to remind him.

balia Sat 29-Sep-12 10:22:32

He knows when her birthday is - it's on a very significant date for him. Besides, since he got divorced and moved I don't have his contact details.

susiedaisy Sat 29-Sep-12 10:24:40

YANBU

Shellywelly1973 Sat 29-Sep-12 10:45:23

I totally appreciate how this makes you feel...

Ex stopped CM when ds was 17,as in his words,ds could be out working. Ds was doing A levels.

Ex promised ds to help him through uni...he didn't.

Ex hasn't sent him a birthday or Christmas card since he was 15. We have never moved so making contact isn't an issue.

Ds graduated from uni with honours last summer,ex never even acknowledged it.

Then about 6 weeks ago ex suddenly realises ds has grown up,he's 23 now! Ex tries to make contact but ds isn't intreasted. Ex is really upset!!??!

Ds is a lovely young man who has turned out better then i could have ever hoped. He says his dad isn't an issue but of course he is. Ds sake& i have a great relationship but his dad ignored him&has barely acknowledged him since he was 14. It has affected ds but i can't control his dad. So,i was determined ds would have at least 1good&supportive parent.

That's all anyone can do when the other parent is a total&utter twat! I never have expressed my views on ds father to him.

I pity my ex he's missed out on a great ds. He will never have the time back he missed out on. But,for ds sake i actually hope they have some sort of relationship in time to come.

Shellywelly1973 Sat 29-Sep-12 10:47:01

Sorry that ended up so long!!!
Oh YANBU!!

JetSetandGo Sat 29-Sep-12 11:24:30

YANBU at all Balia.

My dad was the same. Mine NEVER remembered my birthday. I used to ring him up and tell him the date. His excuse (still is, all these years later) is that I'm getting older now so I don't need anything because I have my own family.

Dad of the year he is hmm

balia Sat 29-Sep-12 12:11:10

Thanks all. He hasn't f*cking forgotten, he just wants it on his terms. Apparently he had said to DD's cousin that if DD wanted she could go over and 'share' his new girlfriend's party (new g/f is 60 if she's a day) but DD just laughed. She knows what he's like. Wanker - he's the one missing out, like you say, Shellywelly.

Merrin Sat 29-Sep-12 12:35:24

YANBU! Try not to let her see your feelings tho. At least she has you! Go fill the lounge with balloons and get some fizz in grin

NotMostPeople Sat 29-Sep-12 12:39:22

My Dad did similar, on my 16th I over heard my Mum on the phone to him about something else and she asked if he wanted to speak to me and he said no. Im in my forties now and have no relationship with him.

balia Sat 29-Sep-12 12:42:03

Aw, thanks Merrin - actually her birthday was earlier in the week, I was sad about the card thing and then found out about the CM. We had a lovely birthday, lots of fizz and balloons, thanks, and DD was happy. DH has been her stepdad for 8 years and got to share it all with her.

Merrin Sat 29-Sep-12 14:14:03

Fab grin If its any help I have never had a card from my so called Father and couldn't give a stuff!

TheBirderer Sat 29-Sep-12 14:19:46

What a tosspot. The ex-boyfriend, on the other hand, sounds like a decent bloke smile

McHappyPants2012 Sat 29-Sep-12 14:25:34

What a poor excuss for a father sad happy 18th birthday to your dd hope she has a great day

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