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To go or not to go?

(25 Posts)
TheKiteRunner1 Fri 28-Sep-12 20:21:22

Ds goes to Catholic school, I'm the least religious person you could meet but it's a great school and I understand the ethos of the school etc and that there will be ceetain things ds will be expected to participate in.

The school are trying to arrange everyone to go to Mass next week on a Sunday morning and my first thought was well I won't go. But ds tells me today that his schools having a church next week and how they've all made crowns to wear to church and all of the mummies have to go. Just seems incredibly mean not to go but incredibly hypocritical to go, plus don't know if it's going to become a regular thing which would definitely be a no go for me.

honeytea Fri 28-Sep-12 20:24:44

I think it's as hypocritical to send your DS to a catholic school as it is to go to mass. If your not religious anyway I can't see the problem, if you had anothe rstrong faith that conflicted with mass then I could see the problem.

AgentZigzag Fri 28-Sep-12 20:26:21

If you're the least religious person you could meet, it's all just words isn't it?

Just focus on your DS, it's not compulsory to have a strong religious conviction when you go into a church.

So long as you're not hmm and doing huge sighs when they're talking about stuff grin I don't think anyone would notice.

Annunziata Fri 28-Sep-12 20:27:20

You chose to send him to Catholic school, surely you knew this would 'become a regular thing.' Just go and stand at the back.

AgentZigzag Fri 28-Sep-12 20:27:38

You're not going to be infected with faith as soon as you cross the threshold grin

pjmama Fri 28-Sep-12 20:28:00

If it means alot to your DS then I would go. You sent him to a catholic school so I guess this is part of the deal?

CrikeyOHare Fri 28-Sep-12 20:33:20

Hell - I'm about as atheist as it's possible to be, but I trotted along to the odd service when my DS had to attend them (about once a term).

I would sit quietly when the praying was going on, stood when everyone else did, but didn't sing along with hymns or do any of the talking stuff.

It's not "hypocritical" at all since there isn't actually anyone "up there" to be offended at you showing up at his house, right?

Go smile

TheKiteRunner1 Fri 28-Sep-12 20:35:06

Well, we gave it a lot of thought, we liked the school, didn't really expect to get a place anyway as we're not Catholic so had our second choice ready too. I figured that I am happy to respect the ethos of the school and that when ds is old enough we will educate him about other faiths and that he will make his own mind up just as I did.

I wasn't necessarily expecting weekend activites around the church.

TheKiteRunner1 Fri 28-Sep-12 20:37:54

Crikey that is a very good point.

Annunziata Fri 28-Sep-12 20:41:10

You didn't think a Catholic school would have activities at the weekend at church? grin

Flobbadobs Fri 28-Sep-12 20:45:38

Show up, smile at offspring,stand up & sit down at the right times. Don't snore. Easy :D

TheKiteRunner1 Fri 28-Sep-12 20:49:21

No annun I didn't, I went to a c of e school and we never went to church at the weekend, we did morning prayers, did harvest festival and nativity.

halloweeneyqueeney Fri 28-Sep-12 20:52:24

going into a catholic church doesn't require participation or belief, everyone is welcome even if they don't take part, you don't have to say any of the prayers or declare that you believe in one church etc like everyone else. I don't think going as a spectator is in any way hypocrytical

sounds like there'll prob be coffee and cake afterwards which I'ld go for even if I wasn't catholic wink

Annunziata Fri 28-Sep-12 20:54:48

Well, it probably will be a regular thing. So it's really up to you whether you want to start taking your DS.

cheekybarsteward Fri 28-Sep-12 20:57:23

Oh no, don't go, you will catch the catholic! ;)

purplehouse Fri 28-Sep-12 20:59:18

I would go. I presume he is in Yr R (?) and he will not remember this particular experience anyway in the long term. In the short term, he'll remember enjoying wearing the crown.

The reason I would go is to keep the peace with the school and participate. If you are an athiest, it can make no difference to you either way and you can talk about different people believing different things with your DS.

TheKiteRunner1 Fri 28-Sep-12 21:01:36

annun you sound really smug, I wasn't expecting to be asked to attend church except for perhaps at Christmas and Easter, I am well aware that it is up to me I was asking for opinions on whether it would be hypocritical to go.

Halloween and other yes you've made me look at it in a different way think I was overthinking it.

TheKiteRunner1 Fri 28-Sep-12 21:09:12

Ha, I definitely don't think religion is catching, just no something I would normally do but I guess if it was a meet up at the community centre I wouldn't be asking the question so being a bit daft.

Annunziata Fri 28-Sep-12 21:11:30

Sorry if I offended you, I found you talking about Mass like that a bit upsetting.

goldenlula Fri 28-Sep-12 21:13:05

Ds' attend a Catholic School, we are not Catholic (c of e but not church goers). I would happily attend a Catholic church mass if either ds asked me too. I attend all class masses (which will be 2 a term now) as long as it is possible, which so far I haven't missed one. These are held at the school, with the priest. We so far have not had any weekend services. I think you should give it a go!

TheKiteRunner1 Fri 28-Sep-12 21:22:01

Oh I did not mean to speak about Mass in a derogatory way, but that is why I was unsure about going because I know peoples faith means a lot to them so I didn't want to go along just because I felt I had to iyswim? But also seemed really mean not to go when the school and the children have gone to so much effort and talked about the event in class etc. When I mentioned it being a regular thing I just meant if we were asked to go each week I feel it wouldn't be a good message to send to ds as this is a way of life for us as it isn't. It will be for ds at school because that's the choice I've made. I'm not an athiest btw, I just have no strong beliefs which is perhaps why I'm overthinking it a bit.

DoubleMum Fri 28-Sep-12 21:24:49

He will learn about other faiths even at catholic school OP.
Just think of it as like a school assembly.

halloweeneyqueeney Fri 28-Sep-12 21:25:55

I didn't see anything derogatory in your posts OP

I don't think you'll be asked to go weekly BTW, most catholics don't anyway and noone asks them to grin

halloweeneyqueeney Fri 28-Sep-12 21:28:08

I don't think it sends the wrong message, your DS will see you going along and respecting a faith that isn't yours, just like he will do if he gets invited to a Hindu or Jewish or COE etc event IYKWIM, which is a good message?

and I learnt WAY MORE about other cultures and faith and tolerance at catholic school than at non catholic school (went to both)

Annunziata Fri 28-Sep-12 21:42:48

You're not offending anyone by going to Mass, honestly. But you shouldn't feel forced into it. So I really do think it's up to you. It is a big part of life at Catholic school.

(there was nothing derogatory. Just the way you worded it, but I'm a little sensitive just now).

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