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To think my fiance puts me down sometimes..

(23 Posts)
Middy86 Fri 28-Sep-12 18:34:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Middy86 Fri 28-Sep-12 18:41:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoleSource Fri 28-Sep-12 18:43:44

Does seem as if he puts you down but could he claim the same?

Suggest ypu say to him that his renark did not, feel very kind and it you feel it was a put down.

Day it each and every time.
Failing that leave him.
Good luck.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Fri 28-Sep-12 18:44:11

Yes he's being a bit of an arse.

Do you say anything back when he says these things to you?

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 28-Sep-12 18:44:54

is it possible you are over thinking his comments perhaps due to depression? to me they sound thoughtless as opposed to cuntish

FaffTastic Fri 28-Sep-12 18:45:34

YANBU - in an ideal world a partner would be supportive, encouraging and you'd be able to share dreams/hopes with each other without humiliation or belittling, even if you both didn't have the same dreams.

We don't live in an ideal world though and I'm a bit useless with advice - you'd probably benefit from posting your thread in the Relationships section though where posters can be v constructive ( just don't pay attention if they automatically accuse your OH of having an affair though!)

Ullena Fri 28-Sep-12 18:45:35


OP on the one hand, you need to pity him, as he is older, crankier, and probably balder than you grin

On the other hand, he sounds a bit of a berk, tbh. Were you depressed and anxious before you met him? Could you get involved in a kid related activity even one day a week with your DC to encourage you to get out of the house? Even a mother and toddler group, or just to walk around the park, etc?

Hopefully you will enjoy training as a midwife. And your dream sounds nice, actually.

puds11 Fri 28-Sep-12 18:46:15

Wow you sang opera? Professionally?

He just sounds a bit tactless to be honest.

Mayisout Fri 28-Sep-12 18:53:23

Sounds a v reasonable dream to have -houses in London are v v expensive.

MagicHouse Fri 28-Sep-12 18:54:50

His comments sound very unkind to me and designed to chip away at your confidence. Of course having a little terrace house in London, close to the music schools is a dream!
You either don't let him get away with it - look him straight in the eye and tell him "music is my passion, of course living/ working close to the music schools is a dream? Does you not have any similar interests or passions driving you?"

Or you leave him and find someone who treats you with more love and respect!

My guess he's very insecure himself underneath, and for eg thinks your critisicm of the film is a dig at him. Lots of insecure people make themselves feel better by undermining people - makes them feel better about themselves.

Middy86 Fri 28-Sep-12 18:58:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Middy86 Fri 28-Sep-12 19:05:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrSunshine Fri 28-Sep-12 19:08:23

Sounds like normal couple talk to me. If youre together for a few years you rib and tease each other, certainly the xfactor comment sounds perfectly normal as a comment to me.

You sound like you have much bigger problems with him that you should be focusing in, frankly.

Middy86 Fri 28-Sep-12 19:09:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ullena Fri 28-Sep-12 19:15:05

Stop apologising. Best advice anyone ever gave me smile

corlan Fri 28-Sep-12 19:16:34

Middy - I think you've given a bit too much away about your identity. You might want to ask for your 3rd post back to be deleted!!!

(By the way - he sounds like a miserable git!)

lechatnoir Fri 28-Sep-12 19:21:05

Totally agree with MrS - if my DH said either comment I would jokingly reply with a sod off you old git & think nothing more of it but it does sound like there's a lot more going on in your relationship that might not be so rosey hmm

Middy86 Fri 28-Sep-12 19:23:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

corlan Fri 28-Sep-12 19:28:52

No, I don't think I know you Middy but it would be easy for someone to work out your boyfriends name from the information you gave about what son he'd written.
(Maybe I'm being overcautious?)

corlan Fri 28-Sep-12 19:29:27

song not son

TheLightPassenger Fri 28-Sep-12 19:31:06

I don't think the London comment is that bad, as given he has lived there himself, it's not likely to seem all that special or aspirational to him. does sound like there are bigger problems in the relationship in general though...

Middy86 Fri 28-Sep-12 19:31:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

suburbophobe Fri 28-Sep-12 19:38:15

Don.t let him trample all over your dreams!

And stop apologising...

He should be lifting you up, not dragging you down.

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