AIBU To Be P'd Off (& Maybe A Teeny Bit Worried) By This ???(10 Posts)
I don't want this to be another benefit bashing thread, so want to clarify that isn't my point at all & also the DP in question works anyway, though I expect probably not so good an income. But putting that aside, the following has really p'd me off - actually surprised myself by just how much so wondering if AIBU or if someone can enlighten me on how the system really works, as if its as straight forward as this seems its pretty crap.
A cousin of DHs - I've met her once in the 14 yrs we've been together - DH, his DM & DS saw her at the same time (mutual Nans funeral) & thats the only time they've seen her too - DMIL speaks with her DF about once a month & they live in another part of the country, though not so far away to make visiting more often unworkable, but in short, just not close family at all.
It now turns out this Cousin has used having 2 cousins & an Aunt in our area to get herself offered a 4 bed council property nearby - no properties big enough for her & her 5 kids under 6 where she lives & she's annoyed they are all sharing rooms in the 3 bed they currently have & she loves the idea of living by the sea.
Personally I think she's stark staring mad, so does SH & DMIL she relies a lot on her family for help & won't have any help here - though DMIL did make a point of telling me she was looking forward to seeing more of me & wanted to know how far this house was from us - the one time I did meet her she seemed sweet enough, but weirdly she really latched onto me, never left my side the whole day & I got her complete life story, all her troubles included - I was polite as its a funeral etc, but I was a bit taken aback & did if I'm honest feel cornered by her & a bit p'd off with DH for leaving me too it, so theres a slight worry she's thinking she's welcome here & I'm going to fill in for the missing family - DMIL thinks the same, so felt it fair to warn me -
I can deal with that, rather not have to, but can be tough if I have to, but my biggest bug bear is how the hell can she get offered this house, on the backs of having family here she hardly knows, when we've friends living & working here all there lives in similar situations - less DCs though, but still a 4 bed house would be a god send - (one has 3 teens/preteens living in a pokey 3 bed flat & SN DC too) - who can't get moved at all. - how the hell can that be right
Actually, thinking on it, her Aunt - DMIL DOESN"T come under our borough at all, she's in a different county, neither does DSIL - so the offer is down to having 1 cousin here
is this really how the council housing system works ?? - can you just say you have relatives in another area you want to move to & they have to house with even checking ??
But the council can check, assuming you are on the council tax register.
And I doubt that having a cousin or two near by is worth that much in terms of housing points, more the fact the house she currently lives in is over crowded.
I think, in the nicest way possible, yabateensybitU
But she sound like she might be a nightmare.
Honestly? You sound really mean and nasty.
What do you want the council to do? Ask your permission for her to move into 'your' area? I can't believe you are begrudging a family member suitable housing.
you can apply for social housing anywhere. you'll only get it based on your circs. clearly she has enough points to be offered one.
So you're worried that she's going to move close to you and want you to be a friend? "No" is a complete sentence.
YANBU to wonder why she is being offered a 4 bedroom house based on 1 cousin living nearby. I can't see the council doing this, surely she must have got it some other way. Has she lied and said she needs help from this cousin and needs to live closer?
She sounds like a pita who is going to latch on to you, nip it in the bud!
Thanks everyone, sorry slow to reply, I've had a busy weekend/week
I fully intend to nip it in the bud PDQ if she does latch onto me, which sounds like a probability as according to MIL she had her Dad asking about me several times & wants to know if this new house is walking distance to ours - thankfully it would be a long walk with 5 little ones - & no I wont feel in the least bit bad about it, she isn't MY family, but DHs & I've met her only once, DH has seen or heard from her no more than that either -
The one time I met her she did stick to me like glue & I was probably more polite than I would have been given the circumstances of it being a funeral & also that I thought she was MUCH younger than she actually was - I thought she was a Teen as she came across so very young, so I suppose I humoured her more for that reason, learning later she wasn't DHs cousins DD as I first thought, but his much younger cousin & I was told later by MIL - spoilt rotten by her family & much older siblings I was quite shocked to find out her real age & it made me realise she's a bit of a narcissist, hence the me me me, pity me chat I'd been lumbered with for the day.
So yes, she looks like a potential PITA, which I can & will deal with, but my gripe is that she is seemingly being offered this house over local people who are also overcrowded, some we know, some we know of & I don't doubt theres many more - I just don't get how having one cousin here can get her those points, which get her this big house, which TBH also made me wonder if she lied in someway, though no-one has checked it out with us, so I've no idea
We've heard no more - so fingers crossed
Just as a quick update for anyone who might be vaguely interested
She didn't get the house - I'm a bit puzzled as to what exactly happened as we were told she had definitely been offered it, but seems the LA common sense prevailed & it went to someone local instead.
DH was also told the cheeky mare had put me down on the forms as her reason for choosing here & wanting a house near us & fully expected my help in getting her DCs to School - apparently I'm home all day so I have the time
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