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to wonder about etiquette for a 40th party.

(21 Posts)
shewhowines Wed 26-Sep-12 09:03:38

Would obviously take wine/beer to a normal house party but this is a formal invite to a 40th birthday party at home. There is to be entertainment.

Most 30th/40th/50th parties have been held in venues so the need to take alcohol hasn't arisen. I did go to a 30th (had a marquee in garden) many years ago and rocked up with booze only to find nobody else seemed to have taken any.

AIBU to take no booze? Will take a nice present for the party boy though. Have't seen him for a few years, so not close enough to ask.

OlaRapaceFru Wed 26-Sep-12 09:15:54

Does the invitation give any clue as to what food and drink will be provided? You know your friend, so do you think he's a generous host or, um, not a generous host? What's the entertainment, BTW? I mean, is he splashing out on hiring a band or something? Do you know any of the other guests, could you ask them?

TBH, if I was really in the dark about what's going to be provided, I think I'd err on the side of caution and take booze.

I would take the wine anyway just to be courteous.

omfgkillmenow Wed 26-Sep-12 09:19:21

get a big handbag, stuff a half bottle in it, bring it out/don't bring it out as is appropriate when you get there

OddGoldBoots Wed 26-Sep-12 09:20:50

Ask the hosts, I don't think there is any harm in politely checking with them and it stops you fretting. smile

shewhowines Wed 26-Sep-12 09:21:08

There will be people there that we know but i haven't seen them for a few years either. We've sort of lost touch after a few years of leaving Uni. Will be great to see everybody though and catch up but I don't feel I can ring anyone and ask. It just says entertainment on the invite.

shewhowines Wed 26-Sep-12 09:22:03

Like the handbag suggestion.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Wed 26-Sep-12 09:23:06

I'd take some just to be on the safe side. I have a friend that does lots of formal parties at home and always provides lots of booze, bit I know she appreciates it when guests contribute to what's on offer on the drinks table.

lottiegarbanzo Wed 26-Sep-12 09:23:18

I'd imagine close friends are likely to take champagne, so other wine would be appropriate. I'd expect the host to have catered but would see the wine as a standard dinner / party invitee gift, not necessarily expecting it to be drunk on the night.

Moomoomie Wed 26-Sep-12 09:23:27

I would take a bottle of wine in a gift bag along with the present. If the need arises take the bottle out of the gift bag to pop on the table, if not needed the host gets an extra present.

newmummytobe79 Wed 26-Sep-12 09:25:17

I'd take a nice bottle of champagne/wine - that way it can double up as a gift and you don't feel daft rocking up with a box of beers if alcohol isn't expected!

Although ... formal or not - my friends would be very pleased if we turned up with a box of beer/3 for a tenner wines to their parties! smile

snowmummy Wed 26-Sep-12 09:26:50

I'd take something anyway

shewhowines Wed 26-Sep-12 09:27:58

I think you are right. We will take some. I would feel awful if we didn't take some and others did. Although I felt silly when we did last time and others didn't but I'd rather feel silly and generous rather than silly and mean.

SomersetONeil Wed 26-Sep-12 09:30:42

I can't imagine turning up to a house do without wine or champagne - take a bottle of something nice, not beer, and you'll be fine. smile

Noqontrol Wed 26-Sep-12 09:55:17

I would take a bottle of wine.

HipHopOpotomus Wed 26-Sep-12 10:02:45

I would ALWAYS take a bottle of wine to a house party whatever the occasion/age. For a special birthday I would take champagne.

OneOfMyTurnsComingOn Wed 26-Sep-12 10:05:30

I would take some. I think it's rude not to.

aldiwhore Wed 26-Sep-12 10:06:20

Always take a bottle to a house party. Even if its not needed, it will be noted.

maillotjaune Wed 26-Sep-12 10:22:06

Yes I would always take a bottle of wine. No one will be disappointed that you did, but you might be embarrassed if you're the only person who hasn't.

ceeveebee Wed 26-Sep-12 10:30:46

I would take one but hide in bag as suggested up thread.

We went to a house party for the jubilee, it was a penthouse overlooking the Thames and we took a bottle of Prosecco. When we arrived they had staff taking coats and serving drinks on silver trays so we felt a bit silly handing over our cheapo £5.99 bottle!

shewhowines Wed 26-Sep-12 11:26:39

Yes ceeveebee that's exactly how it was with us a few years ago. I've already spent a lot on the present so will take a nice bottle of wine rather than champagne

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