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To want some one on one time with dd2?

(11 Posts)
Wineafterseven Mon 24-Sep-12 22:46:06

My dds are 20weeks and 20 months. Dd1 currently goes to nursery 3 days a week and dd2 is at home with me all the time. I am returning to work in January but i can't shift this feeling of guilt that dd1 should be at home more. The thing is as dd1 is still young she requires a lot of attention, I don't feel dd2 gets a look in on the days dd1 is at home. Dd2 enjoys nursery and I try to do as much as I can with her when she is at home with me. I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing, obviously I want to do what's best for both whilst remaining relatively sane myself!

londonmackem Mon 24-Sep-12 22:56:57

I do the same thing. Your dd1 had the one on one time when she was little so this seems fair-so long as she likes nursery.

Wineafterseven Tue 25-Sep-12 18:09:44


Virgil Tue 25-Sep-12 18:35:54

Is this likely to be your last baby (and therefore your last maternity leave period)? If so make the most of this time with your DDs. In your position I would continue to send DD1 to nursery but maybe only two days. Why don't you send her Tuesday and Thursday and then you will only ever have one day at a time with sole responsibility for entertaining them.

LilyCocoplatt Tue 25-Sep-12 18:37:30

YANBU as long as your DD1 is enjoying nursery, it will do her good to socialise with other children and will give you the break you need and some bonding time with DD2, toddlers are a lot more demanding than little babies so enjoy the times DD1 is at nursery.

Wineafterseven Tue 25-Sep-12 22:34:32

Yes this will be my last baby...I think. Most certainly for a few years anyway. I may try 2 days but like her to have some consistency in her routine so don't know if splitting the days like that would be good for her. It's good to know that others are doing the same thing, I don't feel so bad. Toddlers are certainly more demanding than babies, I dread to think about the teenage years! Incidentally I went to collect dd1 from nursery at lunch time today, thinking 2 and a half days is better than 3, she was completely unimpressed and wanted to stay and play!

crackcrackcrak Tue 25-Sep-12 22:39:35

I'd say keep dd1 routine but pick her up earlier. My nursery advised times for shorter days and exp and I both use it to have time with our dd1. This way routine is maintained but we squeeze in some more time with her.
I'm on mat leave and I've left dd1 with her normal days I just fetch her earlier and do something specific with her - she thinks it's great like an extra treat grin

squeakytoy Tue 25-Sep-12 22:48:24

dont you get one on one time with dd2 on the days dd1 goes to nursery though?

It sounds more like you never get one on one time with dd1 to me..

Wineafterseven Wed 26-Sep-12 08:10:28

Dd1 gets one to one time whilst dd2 sleeps in the day as well as at weekends when dh takes dd2 for walks etc. Also dd2 goes to bed at 6 and dd1 goes at 7.30, my dh and I bath her together and read to her before bed, I really don't feel that she is lacking in attention.

Wineafterseven Wed 26-Sep-12 08:12:07

Crackcrackcrak this sounds like a good idea.

Wineafterseven Wed 26-Sep-12 09:11:45

Crackcrackcrak this sounds like a good idea.

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