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I am being unreasonable but is it ok to shit my pants?

(49 Posts)
thebeesnees79 Mon 24-Sep-12 07:45:11

I am 37 weeks with our third baby. we already have a 5 & 3 year old.
My mum was going to be on stand by when I go into labour but my uncle who is dying of cancer has took a turn for the worst. He lives abroad and my parents are flying out asap to see him (probably the last time.)
I know they need to go but I am scared to give birth alone and if I do go while they are away my Dh will have to stay home to mind our two children.
Am I being unreasonable to shit my pants at the prospect of birthing alone sad
Or should I just woman up and get on with it

Fairylea Mon 24-Sep-12 07:47:39

Doula ??

NopofacehaveI Mon 24-Sep-12 07:48:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl Mon 24-Sep-12 07:49:11

Is there really really no one else who could/would have the children?

It´s certainly a thing that I would do for someone in your situation.
(Can´t offer in RL unfortunately as I´m in Germany)

Sirzy Mon 24-Sep-12 07:49:44

Is there nobody else who can look after your other 2 children so he can come with you?

thebeesnees79 Mon 24-Sep-12 07:49:56

its so late on, I only have 3 weeks (well any time in the next three weeks anyway)
& my dh was with me for my other two I trust him.
Had two not so straight forward births, the first got stuck & the second was born blue and floppy sad

IWishIWasSheRa Mon 24-Sep-12 07:51:37

Bless you, sorry to hear about your uncle.
It's unnerving because not what you planned but you will be fine! You could use a babysitter- perhaps a helpful kind teacher from pre-school to look after the kids? Rope a friend in to look after the kids or leave your dh to look after the kids and ask a friend to go with you- whoever you ask will be pleased to help out and if I were asked to be a second choice birthing partner i would see it as a huge privilege! It will all work out and am sure you will be marvellous!

FutTheShuckUp Mon 24-Sep-12 07:51:47

Where in the country are you?

SlipperyNipple Mon 24-Sep-12 07:51:47

Could you get a registered babysitter to be on call? Friends that would babysit? Most people would go out of their way to help in this situation.

thebeesnees79 Mon 24-Sep-12 07:52:57

I don't know who else to ask. I normally go into labour through the night, so its not fair (is it?) to expect someone to be awake all night?
My son was born at 6am & daughter at 4. I don't want to have the stress of the two kids being left with just anyone while I am giving birth either. aagggghh, I wish I could have a date and time so I could organise something

vvviola Mon 24-Sep-12 07:55:18

Honestly, ask someone if they'll look after the other DC for you. One of the Mums at school? You may not even have to ask if you let it be known that you have no childcare.

When I was expecting DD2, the elderly lady across the road who I was on nodding terms with, came over and insisted (half in French half in English - we were in Brussels at the time) that we should absolutely call on her if required. And that was on top of all the friends and colleagues who offered.

I also have a friend who went into labour unexpectedly the day before she was due to move home. She ended up dropping her DC to a colleague who heard they were very stuck. People truly will surprise you.

Fairylea Mon 24-Sep-12 07:55:38

What about dhs family ?

diddl Mon 24-Sep-12 07:56:05

"to expect someone to be awake all night?"

Well, if it happens at night-that´ll be you!!

They´ll just come to your house & sleep until the children get up, won´t they?

Sirzy Mon 24-Sep-12 07:56:30

Do you have any other family or close friends? I am sure they would be happy to be woken up to help out.

SlipperyNipple Mon 24-Sep-12 07:56:56

I would get up in the middle of the night for a labouring woman. I really would. You are just seeing problems but the answer is there. Leave your kids with a friend or babysitter. They will be fine. Just talk them through the possibility of waking up with whoever it is making them breakfast.

loopyluna Mon 24-Sep-12 07:57:10

I went into labour while DH was at a party with our, then, 6 and 3 year olds. He was inundated with offers of help and the DC were v happy and excited to be invited for an inpromtu sleepover with friends!
Surely your DH could find someone -neighbour, colleague, friend... to help out with the other children for a couple of hours so he can be there.

YellowDinosaur Mon 24-Sep-12 07:58:09

If do this like a shot for a friend and not necessarily just a close friend. Talk to people about your situation and you'll probably get lots of offers of help without even having to ask

ProPerformer Mon 24-Sep-12 07:59:04

Honestly OP I'm sure a real friend wouldn't give two hoots about being on call during the night for something like this, either to go with you or to look after your kids. Ask your friends - I think you may be very pleasantly surprised. Have you thought of asking a neighbour to look after your kids? I know it may not be ideal but at least it would be someone they recognise even if they don't know them as such.

ll31 Mon 24-Sep-12 07:59:20

Was alone having ds -was fine. I'm sure you'll get someone -neighbours? If you don't you'll be fine -prob get better attention from hospital staff. Don't stress, good luck

ripsishere Mon 24-Sep-12 08:00:51

I agree with everyone else. I'd drop everything to help. Unfortunately, I am unsuitable due to living in Malaysia now.

HSMM Mon 24-Sep-12 08:03:54

I got up in the middle of the night when my friend went into labour, to collect her children. I also stayed up all night to be a birthing partner for another friend. I am a childminder and I have been on call for mindees parents if they needed me overnight.

It is always a privalege to help a woman in labour and hopefully you will find someone who will come to your house to watch your children, or collect them and take them home.

thebeesnees79 Mon 24-Sep-12 08:06:28

My folks are retired (that's why we asked them) The dh family all work. Maybe I am thinking too much into it. I know the kids would be more than happy to be left with his brother (their uncle) but he works and I don't want him to be in trouble with his work.
I have a one to one midwife that I will ask if she can come with me. I hope she is on duty when I go into labour, or keeping baby in till I go over due would be a good option lol

maddening Mon 24-Sep-12 08:06:42

Doula or cm/nanny/babysitter for children so Dh can be with you?

throckenholt Mon 24-Sep-12 08:09:04

How long is your mum likely to be abroad ? Was she planning to stay long term with her brother ? If not - chances are she will be back before you give birth. Do you have a history of early births ? At 37 weeks it could be any time in the next 5 weeks.

Punkatheart Mon 24-Sep-12 08:12:31

If you were close (geographically) to me, I would go with you. Blimey, you may end up with most of Mumsnet in there with you....now there's a thought!

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