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to get a little bit irked at children's birthday MIL hijack.

(43 Posts)
thatlldopigthatlldo Sun 23-Sep-12 21:29:51

bless her heart, she's lovely, she's also kinda old (75ish). she's a fabulous nannie, i really couldn't ask for more for my kids.
but when she hijacks my kids birthdays by coming to stay I don't get a look in. She bakes the cake, gives better presents, and i'll have to work so probably won't be involved in any of his birthday at all.

help me get my head together so i don't in anyway sulk or pout or feel sidelined. (which i am). flame me. i deserve it.

LaurieFairyCake Sun 23-Sep-12 21:31:24

Not going to flame you but I will point out she will be dead soon and your children will have wonderful memories and you to remember them with.

Tigresswoods Sun 23-Sep-12 21:32:44

Nice answer Laurie don't mince you're words. A lady after my own heart. I like it.

monsterchild Sun 23-Sep-12 21:33:47

Why don't you have the party when you can attend? then you too can eat nannies cake and enjoy watching kid open awesome presents?

FredWorms Sun 23-Sep-12 21:34:54

Awwww, poor you, I thought this was going to be a typical MN MIL-bashing thread but it's not, is it?

Can you talk to her? Can you ask her to help you to be more involved? You need a situation where you're doing the planning and she's taking instructions from you. You need to phrase it very carefully so you're calling on her expertise. She obviously loves the whole bday thing (I can imagine myself being like this in the future), but maybe doesn't realise how much you'd like to do all the organising.

thatlldopigthatlldo Sun 23-Sep-12 21:35:20

wowser, straight for the jugular!
losing her would be a huge loss for our family. i can't even imagine.

but why does she have to be so good at making cakes that there really is no point in me trying.

teacherlikesapples Sun 23-Sep-12 21:36:36

Absolutely Laurie- If you probably have to work, it is amazing that your children have somebody able to help out and provide them with a special day. When your MIL has gone back home and you have your next day off you will have plenty of opportunity to do something else just as special with your kids. And As Laurie pointed out, in a few years time, you won't ever be in this situation again. Appreciate her while she is here, feel blessed that your children have this love around them. So many people in the world don't.

thatlldopigthatlldo Sun 23-Sep-12 21:39:12

she will assume correctly that i don't have the time and that she is helping, which she is.
perhaps i could just sneak DS away for a little 'date' after school. take him for a hot chocolate.

Guiltypleasures001 Sun 23-Sep-12 21:39:22

Why dont you ask her to teach you and birthday child the secret of her cakes, cant think of anything nicer to do for her and her for you, she would be chuffed to bits I bet and you get browny points.

BarbarianMum Sun 23-Sep-12 21:40:22

Well, either insist you make the cake (as long as its edible, who cares) or if she really is that good get her to train you up.

I'm a pretty good cook but all in the family agree that my MIL is the best ever. I get her to give me copies of her recipes.

thatlldopigthatlldo Sun 23-Sep-12 21:46:19

not a bad plan, i could find out if she plans to bake once she gets here, or before. perhaps suggesting the DS2 and I help to decorate the cake. (a 5 year old can get away with 'my' behaviour)

thatlldopigthatlldo Sun 23-Sep-12 21:48:13

it's not the organising so much that i will miss, it's time with him on his birthday.
ridiculous, i've just spend the entire weekend with him and he's very annoying.

QuintessentialShadows Sun 23-Sep-12 21:49:11

Let her teach you to make cakes.

thatlldopigthatlldo Sun 23-Sep-12 21:49:35

IABU. <i'm off to hang my head in shame>

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Sun 23-Sep-12 21:51:52

Best. AIBU. Ever.

you are marvelous, thatlldo. grin

HowToChangeThis Sun 23-Sep-12 21:52:57

I agree, use her expertise with cakes etc and get her to cook with DS and teach you too. But make sure you do a birthday outing that he'll enjoy at the weekend where she (in the nicest possible way) isn't invited. Then he gets two special days and you haven't upset her or yourself.

BlueSkySinking Sun 23-Sep-12 21:55:54

why not take the day off so you can all enjoy it?

thatlldopigthatlldo Sun 23-Sep-12 21:58:30

aw thanks aitch. (although don't think i haven't noticed i don't make the round up quite as much with my new name).

thatlldopigthatlldo Sun 23-Sep-12 22:01:55

This AIBU is on par with Alpengate. You have to read to the end to see it's the most reasonable AIBU ever.

thatlldopigthatlldo Sun 23-Sep-12 22:02:58

i can't take the day off, have had leave recently for surgery, can't take more time. and besides, he'll be at school.

HansieMom Sun 23-Sep-12 22:11:31

Appreciate that she makes homemade cakes. They are from scratch, aren't they? I love homemade, the others I might eat to be polite, kid's birthday and all, but they are not nearly as tasty.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Sun 23-Sep-12 22:13:28

is that you, db?

thatlldopigthatlldo Sun 23-Sep-12 22:14:17


AitchTwoOhOneTwo Sun 23-Sep-12 22:25:26

ah, never mind, i thought you were someone i knew once, a long time ago.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Sun 23-Sep-12 22:25:51

(she had a habit of trying to muscle into the roundup as well)

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