To be fed up about 40 th birthday

[Lonecatwithkitten]

In Feb it was H's 40 th birthday I gave him a new bike £400 and took him and 25 friends to dinner cost £1800, I didn't begrudge it at the time I have a good job.
April he tells me he is having affair and then leaves for OW.
Now it is my 40 th in 1 week obviously I will get no present and I am hosting my own party at home cooking etc myself as obviously I don't have as much money now.
I was okay with this until the last 24 hours now I am just fed up it is just very unfair.

[gordyslovesheep]

YANBU :( what a shit xxxxx it's NOT unfair - nick his bike, flog it on ebay and spend the money on shoes

[Gigondas]

Hmm - I can see why you feel fed up but I bet you will still have a good time anyway.

If it helps I can tell You what I will be doing on my 40th (also in a week) if it helps you feel better as it is pretty shitty.

Is there anything you could do to make you feel a bit better (eg buy something unsuitable to say fuck You dh, arrange a trip somewhere you always wanted to go ).

[Gigondas]

I like gordys suggestion .

[gordyslovesheep]

I buy myself lots at Christmas and Birthdays - things I WANT and wrap them and open them - it's still nice plus you don't have shitty gifts from him to fake smile over

[Greythorne]

God! You deserve to feel angry and pissed off. Turning 40 is invariably rubbish. I turned 40 in April and had a right old wobble about my life, the future, death, the works.

Buy lots and lots of nice Cava, so much cheaper than Champagne but equally festive and go a bit mad with your pals next week.

[gordyslovesheep]

oh and I also buy a very expensive bottle of champagne for New years Eve - I am getting quiet good at this single woman lark

[Gigondas]

Yes- my mother keeps threatening to buy me some horrible electric facial thing for my 40th . Think you buy it yourself is better.

[SammyTheSwedishSquirrel]

My husband took me to McDonald's for my 40th. He's such a romantic. :o

[Mrsjay]

Poor you no wonder you feel rubbish Do something nice for yourself id take his bike back personally and sell it l

[Gigondas]

Prosecco also nice cheap fizz

[aldiwhore]

I Like Gordy's advice... you can't rely on other people to make you feel special (single or not to be honest, though its nice when people do it) so treat yourself.

Both DH and I buy our own gifts throughout the year and give them to the other to wrap... I forget half the stuff I get, and we always thank each other for expert wrapping.

I realise it's different, but it works.

Don't resent the money you wasted spent on your ex, you did it with good intent. I hope you have a lovely 40th, with true good friends... it sounds my idea of a good night.

I'm not a lover of Champagne, but Tesco's Vintage Cava is lovely, and you can have a lot more of it for your money.

[OrangeImperialGoldBlether]

Do you have children or other close family, OP? Do you have friends you can spend the day with?

[Lonecatwithkitten]

Thank you ladies for your thought was fine about it until today. I' m afraid I am a champagne and only the real deal will do so I already have it in. Just miffed as the day is going to be a mad rush as ExH ran off with another mother in DD's class and after a long saga DD moving schools is the best option and the only school open day before entrance exams is next Saturday.

[Dragonwoman]

I'm with you on the shit 40ths. I had to sign on on my 40th at the dole office having recently been made redundant. Dole office lady did wish me a happy birthday though...

[FreudiansGoldSlipper]

I switched off my phone took ds to a wonderful little cafe called canvas and cream in forest hill,they sell delicious cakes and tea and in tea pots with china cup and saucer and stuffed my face

I would feel sorry for myself too you have been through a horrible time being single once you get over the heartbreak is often great I promise

[SoftKittyWarmKitty]

The one good thing about your 40th is you'll no longer be tied to a cheating, lying piece of shit scumbag.

I was 40 a few weeks ago and it was the biggest anti-climax ever. I'm an LP too, so don't have a DP/DH to spoil me/buy me jewellery/take me to dinner/whisk me off to Paris, plus several friends let me down. Agree with the poster who said don't rely on others to make your day special - think of something you fancy doing and do it. Happy birthday in advance!

[onedev]

What a shit . At least you'll be 40 & free to find someone who deserves you.

I hope you're able to have some fun as sounds like you definitely deserve it.

[Viperidae]

He sounds like a total wanker. Try to view your birthday as a new start to your new and better life without him.

FWIW my 40th was no great shakes, nothing traumatic just a bit meh, but my 50th was absolutely ace. So hopefully this could be the start to a much better decade for you without that tosser to bring you down.

[Alligatorpie]

My 40th was a bit blah too, tbh. I was pg and feeling morning sickness all day, dh was sick, in- laws were visiting ( we didn't tell them about the baby) and bought me a cheap black forest cake ( yuck) - I was especially pissed off about the cake, we have the most amazing bakery nearby, and I had bought treats there days before and was raving about it! And being pg, I couldn't even drink. I dont even remember what presents, I got. it was not my finest bday by a long shot.

Try to do something nice for yourself. Sorry about your ex, but aren't you better off without him?