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To rehome my dogs?

(332 Posts)
toughdecision Sat 22-Sep-12 22:31:05

I've NCed for this and apologies in advance for the rambling nature of this post. Am trying not to dripfeed.
DD is 8 months old. My dogs are 9 years old and I've owned them since they were 8 weeks old, they are 5 months apart in age.
One of my dogs has growled and challenged my DD on a number of occasions, she's never bitten anyone before (she has mouthed me when she was a lot younger, when I was grooming her as she hates it. I don't groom her now at all, I send her to the groomers every 2 months for a short clip to keep her coat in check). I'm worried she might bite my DD although she has shown affection towards her as well at times.
I have been removing my DD when the dog has growled/challenged and locked the dogs in their sleeping area. I spoke to a behaviourist at a shelter this week and she said I shouldn't remove my DD as this is sending the wrong message to the dog, that what she is doing is okay, she says I should leave DD where she is and correct the dog's behaviour by banging 2 saucepans above her head and this will show her I'm pack leader. I tried banging a biscuit tin when the other dog was barking incessantly and she did stop but my DD was sobbing because the noise was so loud.
I'm very nervous about not removing DD as I do feel it's putting her at risk.
I'm waiting for the shelter to get back to me as I'd want them to be rehomed together as they've never been apart from each other for longer than a few hours if they are at the groomers separately or at the vets.
At the moment, they don't have much of a life. They spend a lot of time in their sleeping area because of the growling and they never get walked anymore as I can't manage them and the pushchair on my own (I have to go down steps to get out of my house and they are very unruly on the lead) and my DH doesn't feel they need to be walked as they're quite sedate breeds and he thinks they're happy [sceptical]. They used to spend all their time being fussed and loved, now they're just being told to constantly move or get in their bed.
But when I look at them, I can't imagine them not being here or with us, they've been our babies for so long.
I've talked to friends and family in RL and I'm getting very mixed opinions, they all know how we feel about them.
DH doesn't really want to rehome but feels that it's making me very stressed out (which it is) and it would take away that anxiety for me.
I really don't know what to do. I feel guilty for keeping them as their quality of life has decreased as they never get walked anymore and they confined a lot of the time but then I also feel guilty if I rehome them that I've not tried hard enough.
I also can't rehome them separately or get rid of one because they are very attached to one another, when we do take them out if one of us crosses the road before the other and they're separated, they are desparate to get to one another. They are in excellent health for their ages and although they are unruly on the lead, they are small dogs and are very affectionate and friendly (apart from the growling dog with my DD).

TheCalmingManatee Sat 22-Sep-12 22:36:45

a behaviourist told you to correct a stress behaviour in your dogs by bashing two saucepan lids near to their heads? hmm I hope you wan't charged money for this advice. It is commonly accepted, and has been for some time, that all this "pack leader" bumpf is bollocks.

What sort of dogs are they? If you rehome them you are going to have to face up the fact that they wont stay together and could face the possibility of being PTS.

Contact the dogs trust, they will give you advice on how to keep things safe.

ExitPursuedByABear Sat 22-Sep-12 22:38:16

It doesn't sound like much of a life for your dogs if they are never walked. Whilst I would hesitate to recommend that anyone rehome their pets, it does sound as if your dogs would be better off in another home.

RaisinDEtre Sat 22-Sep-12 22:39:09

I wouldn't hesitate to rehome

midori1999 Sat 22-Sep-12 22:39:10

Yes, YABVU. You haven't bothered to train your dogs to walk well on the leads and that is why you can't walk them and the advice fromt he behaviourist is absolutely shit and you should find another one that has a clue. Pack theory is outdated and dangerous, banging pans at the dog when they are already unhappy around your DD will make them even more unhappy about being around her. Your DH is being unreasonable too, all dogs need walking.

You can look here for a behaviourist: and this will be covered by your insurance if it covers behavioural issues.

You take on dogs for their lives, not just for as long as it's convenient. There are over 25,000 dogs being killed every year in the UK, do you either want your dogs to become part of those statistics or two others that could have been home dto, because someone does take on your dogs?

toughdecision Sat 22-Sep-12 22:40:46

I spoke to the dogs trust, I'm waiting for them to get back to me about whether they can take them and whether they'd be able to keep them together.
The lady I spoke to was at another shelter, I rang them to see if they could take them and she told me to do this as she said it was very easily corrected, although to me it seems a massive risk to my DD. We can't afford a behaviourist, money is very tight for us at the moment as I've had to reduce my hours since having DD.

WorraLiberty Sat 22-Sep-12 22:41:00

Your DH doesn't want to rehome them but doesn't want to walk them either?


No wonder they're stressed if they're no longer getting exercise and attention.

There are 2 adults in your or both of you should pull your finger out and start caring for these poor animals.

The chances of anyone wanting to take on a dog that age (let alone 2) are so remote, they'll probably end up being put down anyway.

topknob Sat 22-Sep-12 22:42:52

Rehome them to someone who will love them and at least take them out for a walk shock

WicketyPitch Sat 22-Sep-12 22:43:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IvorHughJanus Sat 22-Sep-12 22:44:29

Am not a dog person and know nothing about them. But it seems bloody evil not to walk them ever. Yes, re-home.

toughdecision Sat 22-Sep-12 22:44:33

I can control my dogs easily on my own as although they pull a lot, they are small dogs, but I can't do it with a pushchair in tow. They bark and pull to other dogs but are not aggressive and behave much better off lead and always come back.

Toughasoldboots Sat 22-Sep-12 22:45:05

Just the fact that no one in your home bothers to walk the dogs makes me think that they are better off being re-homed.

The behaviourist is nuts and doesn't know what she is talking about.

You could have paid someone to walk the dogs if you couldn't manage them. It sounds a miserable life, locked up in the sleeping area, no walks and things being banged above their heads when things get stressful.

Kormachameleon Sat 22-Sep-12 22:45:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WicketyPitch Sat 22-Sep-12 22:45:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onebigwish Sat 22-Sep-12 22:45:47

You absolutely cannot just stop walking your dogs. If you are not prepared to walk them, you rehome them, forthwith.

WorraLiberty Sat 22-Sep-12 22:46:13

They shouldn't be pulling when you walk them.

And is your DH unable to handle 2 small dogs pulling on their lead?

Is he incapable of looking after his baby while you walk the dogs?

kilmuir Sat 22-Sep-12 22:47:24

Poor things.
Never heard such nonsense. I had a csection and at 3 week point i was out with baby and 2 dogs. They need a bloody walk ffs.
You and lazy Dh need a kick up the rear

InvisibleHotPinkWeasel Sat 22-Sep-12 22:48:41

So use a sling. Walk them when your oh is home, or can he not look after the baby either hmm

kilmuir Sat 22-Sep-12 22:48:59

As others have said put the work in or give the poor dogs a chance of a life with people who will walk them.

onebigwish Sat 22-Sep-12 22:49:20

I don't get why you can't walk two small dogs with a pushchair in tow? I have always managed to walk my medium sized dog with a pushchair/double pushchair/puschair and buggy board/pushchair and walking toddler in tow.

It has to be done. It's not optioinal.

I can't compute a mentality that allows you to own a dog and not walk it. It's like owning a baby and not changing it's nappy?? It's unforgivable.

WorraLiberty Sat 22-Sep-12 22:49:27

To all the people saying 're-home'

Whilst I totally understand the OP and her DH are being cruel to them...

How many people out there are going to want to take on 2 dogs who are fairly elderly (because 9 is on the way to elderly), knowing that for the few years they get to have them, they'll probably cost a fair bit in vets bills?

Most people want younger dogs for obvious reasons.

I know some elderly people might be better suited to older/calmer dogs but these 2 pull on the lead and bark at other dogs in the probably not suitable for them either.

midori1999 Sat 22-Sep-12 22:49:50

I can control my dogs easily on my own as although they pull a lot, they are small dogs, but I can't do it with a pushchair in tow. They bark and pull to other dogs but are not aggressive and behave much better off lead and always come back.

I don't really understand how a pushchair prevents you walking two small dogs? Walking them with DD will achieve two things. It will get them walked and it will mean they start to associate DD with something good that they like.

It is absolutely wrong to rehome two dogs because you can't be arsed to look after them properly. If you can't afford a behaviourist, keep DD and the dogs seperate until you can save up for one, although as said, your insurance should cover it.

toughdecision Sat 22-Sep-12 22:49:51

They don't get walked because DH won't do it and I can't take them out with the baby, I can't use a sling because of my back and I can't take them with the pushchair for reasons already stated. I go out everyday with the pushchair.
I do feel awful that they never get a walk now.

DreamsTurnToGoldDust Sat 22-Sep-12 22:50:53

God, its depressing, seen to many threads on here where a baby comes along and suddenly the dogs just have to go. You know, I managed to walk my two, one small, one fat and push a pram.

How can someone love a dog then baby comes along and dog not important, my mind boggles.

Not walking dogs is unforgivable.

SkinnedAlive Sat 22-Sep-12 22:51:00

Do you have a PDSA in your area that can give free behavioural consults if you are of low income? I live abroad so no idea if you can do this. Also I would phone a behavourist as Midori says. Even if you don't have insurance they may give you some good advice on the phone. I once phoned one re my cats and a new puppy - she was lovely and gave great advice, no charge as we didn't need an actual appointment.

You do need to sort this out asap and deceide if you are going to commit to these dogs or not. They do need walked. I can't understand what with 2 adults int the house they are not being walked at all sad Where do they go to the toilet??? shock

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