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For this little girl to have put me off sending dc to private school.

(368 Posts)
reallythough Sat 22-Sep-12 18:44:09

Name-changed as I have a feeling I'm going to get flamed and I'm a bit scared.

We are unsure of whether to send our dc to private school or state school at the moment, we have one starting school next September.

DC who will be starting school next year attends pre-school at a nursery attached to a private school which we really love, the staff are brilliant, dc is very happy and has lots of friends. Last week I picked dc up and walking out of the school an 11ish year old girl and her siblings ran out shouting 'oh Daddy you've got your new Range, look at Daddy's new Range everyone' on repeat about 5/6 times whilst looking around to show everyone that she didn't know (it was a particularly nice car).

I don't want our dc growing up surrounded by people who place importance on materialistic posessions at such a young age. It made me wonder whether a state school will be a more organic surrounding for dc to grow in rather than the quite narrow selection of people they will be socialising with at an independent.

I read something the other day about how we try to re-create our own childhood for our children and I went to private school but after juniors was desperately unhappy there and felt trapped. I am not criticising the girl at all but it did remind me that on the whole a lot of the people I went to private school with were very materialistic and quite narrow minded. AIBU for this to have jolted me to have a serious re-think?

scottishmummy Sat 22-Sep-12 18:47:48

are you usually so flighty with it really rocked by a precicious child
either you're relaxed about private or not. is this more about your experience?
frankly materialistic yahs exist in state schools too in affluent areas

Mydogsleepsonthebed Sat 22-Sep-12 18:48:51

You do know that your kids are going to meet people of all kinds of wealth levels no matter where they go to school?

TheOriginalSteamingNit Sat 22-Sep-12 18:49:44

Didn't you think about this kind of thing before?

MrsCampbellBlack Sat 22-Sep-12 18:50:30

Really! One 11 year old girl is going to put you off. OK.

I think you'll find children can be quite into stuff and labels wherever they go to school

rubyslippers Sat 22-Sep-12 18:50:32

So on the basis of one fairly obnoxious sounding child you're re thinking your child's education?

I'd flame you for that wink

holidaysarenice Sat 22-Sep-12 18:51:59

i dont think it wud have mattered what kind of car it was, children get excited by their parents new car no matter what! and girls of that age love to show off.

why dont you work out which will provide ur daughter with the happiest and securiest environment, if that is private school just make sure she has lots of friends/clubs/activities with children of all backgrounds and she will stay pretty grounded.

MorrisZapp Sat 22-Sep-12 18:52:01

Kids are materialistic, sorry. Maybe there are schools where nobody cares what brand of trainers you wear etc but I've never heard of any.

scottishmummy Sat 22-Sep-12 18:52:42

schools around here are v yah yummy mummy
big cars,big egos,big egos
and then there's the school gate politics

almapudden Sat 22-Sep-12 18:52:42

And if you saw one really rough child swearing and behaving badly outside a state school, would it put you off state education?


lolaflores Sat 22-Sep-12 18:53:13

what about the nasty little shit bags that exist at every level of life who will place untold importance on ;
what shoes you wear
what colour your hair is
what street you live on (that works both ways)
what religion you are
what brand your jeans are

the list is endless. Just the brand names are perhaps different in different settings. Being a dick is a boundless experience. money the lack or surfit of it does not stop a dick being a dick.

toomanydaisies Sat 22-Sep-12 18:53:54

Weird. Ive seen waaaay more snobbery and materialism in state schools than private.

SunflowersSmile Sat 22-Sep-12 18:54:14

It sounds like you were uncertain of your choices before this 'incident'.
Lots of thinking to do!

LydiasMiletus Sat 22-Sep-12 18:54:48

YABU. For many different reasons.
Firstly, why would you want to send you child to private school if you disliked it and the majority of people that attended (and/or their values)?
Secondly dd goes to a state school where some parents drive porches, range rovers etc. Some kids in dds class like to brag and some don't.
Thirdly, you are criticising the girl.
Fourthly, this sentence It made me wonder whether a state school will be a more organic surrounding makes the word 'organic' sound patronising.

Proudnscary Sat 22-Sep-12 18:55:09

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Netguru Sat 22-Sep-12 18:55:20

Really precocious children would be bored by a new car.

Mine were utterly uninterested by my husbands latest merc. It looked the same as the last one.

If the child had been excited by a new ford focus would it have made you less uncomfortable?

You are being ridiculous. Some people are materialistic - regardless of income. Some aren't.

Pick the best school for your child (which may be private, but may not be, and stop treating the whole thing as a social experiment.

scottishmummy Sat 22-Sep-12 18:55:57

significantly you allude to being unhappy at private school
what's your dp expectation is he thinking let's go private
you two need to have a chat if you have msgivings

Hullygully Sat 22-Sep-12 18:56:09

Won't somebody think of the unicorns? <wrings hands>

Proudnscary Sat 22-Sep-12 18:56:23

Or is this a stealth boast about being able to send your dc private and pretending to have a hand-wringling wobble about being so very privileged?

LydiasMiletus Sat 22-Sep-12 18:56:54

Oh a dd was mega excited about my new sports car.
Its a 15 year old fiat coupe that cost £600. She knows I have always wanted one (since before i could drive) and always pointed them out. She was just excited for me and showed all her friends. Doesn't make her materialistic.
She was less impressed with dhs much more expensive brand new car.

Puppypanic Sat 22-Sep-12 18:57:03

What a hilarious pov, it sounds made up but what would I know.

People like that everywhere, we live in a materialistic culture let's face it.

MrsCampbellBlack Sat 22-Sep-12 18:57:14

Tis a burden Proud wink

MustTidyPlayroom Sat 22-Sep-12 18:58:06

Not every child will have a posh car and not every parent who has will allow their child to show off about.

We have a real mix in our school, there are a few parents that I like to think I avoid, but the reality is we are too poor to bother with!

LydiasMiletus Sat 22-Sep-12 18:59:23

Perhaps OP was wanting to add being accused of 'moaning about first world problems' to her list of MN achievements. smile

Viviennemary Sat 22-Sep-12 18:59:35

I'm sure the obnoxious child could easily have gone to a state school and be just as bad.

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