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to really dislike parents giving neg comments to kids playing football in the hope their child transforms into david beckham?

(21 Posts)
exmrs Sat 22-Sep-12 13:29:26

There is a soccer club for young children ages 3 up to about 7 years old. The parents sit on benches watching the kids play short 15 min matches.
Whilst the majority of parents give encouragement to their kids there tends to be a growing number of parents shouting to the kids from the sidelines 'what you doing?' 'The balls over there!' 'dont just stand there' 'you aren't coming next week if you dont get in there'
Now the kids are only young and i feel uncomfortable with them shouting comments to get their kids noticed by the coach and there tends to be competitveness between the parents about how good their kid is at football and how many trophies they have won.
AIBU or is this norm from an early age for kids to be pushed?
I just take my son to tire him out for an hour and for the social side of playing with kids and him having fun

HecateHarshPants Sat 22-Sep-12 14:02:16

You find pushy parents everywhere.

They're normally the ones living through their kids. They wanted to be a model/footballer/singer/dancer but weren't good enough so by god they'll force their kids into it.

Or they're the competitive ones, like you say. My child's just the best at everything <preen preen preen>

Either way, it's all about attention for them and not actually anything to do with their child.


Or come back with your own shouts "Just do your best love, it's only a GAME!!" grin

Ithinkitsjustme Sat 22-Sep-12 14:05:58

YANBU but it's down to the coaches to have a parents code of conduct we used to remove parents from the sideline if they couldn't shout encouragement rather than negative comments. I hate it as well.

Sparklingbrook Sat 22-Sep-12 14:08:40

Welcome to the shitty world of Junior Footy. sad

DS1 is 13 and we have been doing this since he was 7, DS2 (10) has played since he was 5.

I have never felt comfortable on the sidelines and the behaviour of some of the parents is shocking. Some of the Dads especially think it's the Premier League or something. hmm

Nowadays, I take my camping chair, my coffee thermos and my Ipod and just watch, and not listen to all the 'encouragement'.

Sonnet Sat 22-Sep-12 14:14:44

I posted yesterday about a similar situation with my daughters hockey. sparklingbrook knows all about it smile.
I am truly stunned by some parents....

iklboo Sat 22-Sep-12 14:16:01

'Its alright darling, I'm not trying to live my unfulfilled dreams through you!!'

sugarice Sat 22-Sep-12 14:21:09

My ds3 used to play in a league where one of the Mum's from a rival team had to be banned from accompanying her Son after she accused the Ref of being a Homer and threatening to see him in the car park afterwards. shock. The Ref was about 17!

Sparklingbrook Sat 22-Sep-12 14:24:04

grin sugar, it's beyond belief isn't it? I got stuck next to a Dad yelling 'FUCKING TAKE HIM OUT SON!!' which was horrible.

<waves to Sonnet>

sugarice Sat 22-Sep-12 14:33:42

Sunday league is a real eye opener for sure, wait til they're 17, it's even worse. I don't go now it's too uncomfortable to watch!

Oh I was standing next to a parent this morning who shouted out the lovely comment "take his fucking legs son. Don't be such a pussy"

This was under 9s football.

Me and DH take it in turns to go to each match as we have 2 that play at the same time. The u9 parents are far worse than the u14.

If me and dd go to the u9s, we stand on the opposite side of the pitch to the other parents on our team because there are 3 parents who are vile. And I do mean vile.
There was a child injured on the pitch from the other team. One of the fathers shouted "listen son, just leave him. If he wants to lay on the floor like a dickhead, fucking let him. Play on"

I've actually tried to speak to some of these parents and got an earful of abuse for my troubles.

sugarice Sat 22-Sep-12 15:00:32

DS3 plays for a lower league CoE. Any Parent caught being verbally aggressive in the slightest is told in no uncertain terms afterwards that their child will be removed if that Parent continues to be abusive.

When ds plays for the school , well that's a different kettle of fish altogether!

loopyluna Sat 22-Sep-12 17:19:08

It's awful isn't it. My DS loved football but it totally destroyed his self esteem for a while. It wasn't just the parents but the coach and the boys were even nasty to each other. DS was quite good but I was v relieved when he took up another sport. He just plays school footie now so at least there are no parents involved.
And I've never witnessed this sort of behaviour in any other kids sports -gymnastics, horse riding, tennis etc. They are competitive but I've never seen such aggressive behaviour from the sidelines.

Scheherezade Sat 22-Sep-12 17:24:30

Loopy, sorry but I don't know what planet you're on to say its not in horse riding, those mums are the worst.

Sparklingbrook Sat 22-Sep-12 18:58:37

Oooh tell us more about the horse riding Mums Scheherezade. My friend's DD goes for lessons and apparently it is a right bitch-fest. sad

Helenagrace Sat 22-Sep-12 19:42:31

Junior football dads are the reason my son now plays hockey.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 22-Sep-12 19:50:03

Football seems to attract this

Rugby parents are preumably thinking similar thoughts but tend to keep it to themselves and say only sporting encouraging things, in our club

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 22-Sep-12 19:51:30

I cannot be objective about this as I fucking hate football and all it stands for

AuntAda Sat 22-Sep-12 19:53:19

Kids' athletics is just as bad, possibly worse. The main U11's athletics competition takes place annually in Oxford where I have seen parents swearing at their primary-age children from the trackside, and shouting right in a weeping child's face post-competition.

It made me feel sick tbh, and I've refused to do anything more than drop off and pick up at these events ever since.

These people are nutters.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 22-Sep-12 19:59:21

The dancing mums were a breed apart when I was a child

I thought we knew better nowadays

BonnieBumble Sat 22-Sep-12 20:12:06

Dh takes ds1 to football on Saturday mornings, on one occasion he told one of the Dads to stop being such an arse. The Dad was taking it really seriously and telling all the kids they were rubbish. It sounds like he deserved to be called an arse but I was so glad that I was not there!

Scholes34 Sat 22-Sep-12 21:18:41

"Can you stop, you're embarrassing your son", sometimes works. I've seen a dad dismissed from the sidelines before and the child welfare officer (female) intervene as two dads from opposing teams were on the verge of of fisticuffs, whilst another mum ushered the kids to the other side of the pitch.

Unfortunately, both football players and parents sometimes copy what they see on TV at football matches. I certainly don't hold Wayne Rooney et al up as a good role model for my sons.

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