I don't think it's favouritism. More that dn1 started lots of activities, musical and sporting, that they suggested and the same activities haven't been offered to dn2, because of time, money and a different approach. Dn2 gets to do stuff that he asks to do, but dn1 had stuff suggested to him. By this age, dn1 was learning two instruments, dn2 has started whole class lessons at school. It's not deliberate, but still feels uncomfortable and dn2's thing he is celebrated for if anything is being the family clown. Might all come out in the wash but feels a bit strange at the moment.