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Aibu to bring this up with nursery?

(18 Posts)
mumtocuddlebundle Sat 22-Sep-12 07:59:03

Would ibu to bing this up with nursery. I am thinking it probably would be, but wanted to get sense check from others.

Ds is 3 and seems to enjoy his daycare nursery. But the other day I picked him up and he seemed overly happy to see me, and I suspected he hadn't had such a good day.
Then later he said "a boy hit me on the chin there" and "I can't remember the name of the boy that pushed me"
I asked if he cried and he said yes. And I asked if the nursery lady gave him a cuddle and he said yes. Then I changed the subject so we weren't dwelling on it. No idea if it was deliberate or accident. But ds is very gentle and not prone to starting these things.

I am thinking these things are bound to happen at this age. And I won't say anything to nursery. But if it happens again, bring it up with them.

What do you guys think?
Unreasonable to bring it up at this stage?

Galena Sat 22-Sep-12 08:05:57

Yeah, totally unreasonable.

I go to playgroup with DD every time she goes (whole long boring other story) so I see a lot of 3 year olds interacting.

Since he didn't know the child's name it may well be a new child. Quite probably what happened was he was playing with a toy, the other child wanted it and pushed him or something similar. He cried, lady gave him a cuddle, sorted out issue, all friends again.

They probably didn't think to mention it because it happens so often!

stainesmassif Sat 22-Sep-12 08:12:35

I don't see a problem with bringing it up, you're not complaining are you? Yes, all children do this from time to time and toddlers aren't always reliable narrators, but there's really no harm in sharing what your son has said with his key worker and hearing what she has to say about it.

Megatron Sat 22-Sep-12 08:15:56

I really wouldn't make a big deal out of this. This happens about twenty times a day at nursery because young children are always snatching, hitting, pushing each other at this age. Obviously if it keeps happening you'll need to mention it in case a particular child is targetting yours and it would be sensible to let the nursery know your concerns but other than that I would let it go.

cybbo Sat 22-Sep-12 08:24:50

If the staff didn't bring your attention to it at collection time then it was probably not a big deal. Too late to bring it up now

mumtocuddlebundle Sat 22-Sep-12 08:25:54

I thought it was probably pfb. I shoul have said though - the reason I was thinking about bringing it up was to check they were aware of it.
I can't really rely on his response to the question did the nursery lady give yOu a cuddle. Cos he's likely to say yes to this whatever.

Galena Sat 22-Sep-12 08:42:58

So you believe him when he says a child pushed him, but don't believe him when he says he got a cuddle? Hmmm

TheBonkeyMollocks Sat 22-Sep-12 08:45:22

I would just bring it up lightly and have done in the past .

Just so they are aware.

TheBonkeyMollocks Sat 22-Sep-12 08:46:22

And why would you.not believe hint about the cuddle but believe him about the hitting? confused

Sirzy Sat 22-Sep-12 08:47:10

I thought that galena.

Sounds like a minor caffuffle between toddlers which was dealt with quickly by staff. No issue

Proudnscary Sat 22-Sep-12 08:51:09

Children get whacked, pushed, tripped etc all the time at nursery.

It would be a huge overreaction to say anything given the specifics of this incident (I say that because of course if there was a worrying mark or the staff had not acted kindly, then I would say talk to thme).

Is there more going on here? Are you looking for problems? Do you secretly want to give up work and are looking for excuses to do so?

Jenny70 Sat 22-Sep-12 08:52:40

Actually, I might mention it - only to find out how upset he was and whether it was bad enough for an incident form... so not from angle of "who started it", but from was my child really upset, or was it a spat.

I am far from pfb, and our nursery told us about any serious upsets, accidents & toddler run-ins - I guess it gives you the heads up when/if they tell you later. Mine always recalled things in bath, and was good to have prior knowledge of facts.

mumtocuddlebundle Sat 22-Sep-12 09:01:06

I thought it unlikely to be made up that he was hit, as it was quite a specific story. But if I ask him questions he often responds with yes. My husband asked him if he went to nursery yesterday and he said yes- but he hadn't. I know his style of conversation.
And no I am not looking to give up work, I don't work. He just goes to nursery for something fun for him while I am busy with baby.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Sat 22-Sep-12 09:05:06

I've worked in Nurseries, I don't think its unreasonable to bring it up.

You want to check your very small child is ok and that problems are dealt with, there's nothing at all wrong with that. You go in to nursery, you mention that your ds was upset and you wondered what happened, they tell you that yes, there was a minor incident, they explain how they dealt with it, you feel reassured, end of story.

Tbh, I'd feel like I was doing something very wrong if a parent felt couldn't come to me with a worry about their child, no matter how insignificant.

Lonecatwithkitten Sat 22-Sep-12 09:05:30

The trick is to ask an open question like 'so what happened after that?' you are much more likely to get a reliable answer rather than just the easy yes or no.

IvorHughJanus Sat 22-Sep-12 09:09:36

You could definitely mention it - at DS's nursery they always tell us when things like this occurr because they have to complete an Incident Form and we have to sign it. He's younger than your DS so I don't know if that makes a difference, but I'd still mention it if I were you. This is a service you're paying for and you need to feel happy and confident about leaving your child there. You're not complaining, just asking for clarification about what happened. Nothing wrong with that.

mumtocuddlebundle Sat 22-Sep-12 09:37:50

Thanks I thought most people would say definitely don't say anything. Interesting that a few think it's fair enough to mention. So I might bring it up. As you say it's just clarification that it was a minor incident.

QuangleWangleQuee Sat 22-Sep-12 09:56:53

Yes I would mention it casually because I am sure they would want to know if there was anything that was causing your son to come home upset.

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