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to wonder why yoga has to be so wanky!

(62 Posts)
Tanyaaah Fri 21-Sep-12 12:48:38

I love yoga for the stretching and exercise. I like how I can feel my body stretching more each week and it makes me feel really good.

But, I've just been to a class with a new teacher and she kept trying to make us do stupid noises ummmmmmm and oooooooooo and ahhhhhhhhhh. Really bloody annoying!
I found it off putting and the opposite of relaxing as I was too busy getting annoyed to relax. Grrrr.

And then she started ringing a bell when we should breathe angry

I'm sure this is MY problem, just wondered if I was the only one who thought this!

squoosh Fri 21-Sep-12 12:52:19

'Tis ancient and Eastern and in yoga the spiritual and the mental are seen as important as the physical. I believe some Yogis (?) are irked that the spriritual side has taken a back seat to the firm bum cheeks aspect.

Maybe look for a yoga class that is more focused on the physical? Bikram Yoga is all about the body beautiful. I want to try it, but I'm scared!

totallypearshaped Fri 21-Sep-12 12:52:41

It's important to find a class you like and a teacher who clicks with you.
Give this teacher a ring and see if she does this all the time, and if so ask her if she knows any teachers who don't do the chanting or bells.

Sometimes though the point of yoga is to be flexible in your mind!

My feeling is that you could give it another go - and release expectations - you never know it could be the best lesson you receive grin

MonkeyRisotto Fri 21-Sep-12 12:53:36

I think you just have to find the right class for you. I didn't realise there could be that much difference, only having been to the same class for a few months, but there was a stand-in teacher for a few weeks and I hated it.

Asmywhimsytakesme Fri 21-Sep-12 12:54:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

valiumredhead Fri 21-Sep-12 12:54:46

But 'proper' breathing is very important and essential to yoga iirc!

FreudiansGoldSlipper Fri 21-Sep-12 12:56:43

an old teacher of mine was jsut like julie walter i expected her to come out with a tea trolley. she was a fantastic teacher must look her up again

i have never got into the yoga zone, do nto really enjoy it no matter how much i try and very very envious of anyone one that does envy

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Fri 21-Sep-12 13:00:47

I know what you mean. You're just enjoying it and then they say something so wildly bollox and factually incorrect that you want to shove your GCSE biology certificate in their face and yell "Go the fuck to school"

Agree that Bikram appears to have taken a diversion away from the wankery and you do get the body beautiful, but only if you go about 3 x a week.

QuangleWangleQuee Fri 21-Sep-12 13:01:03

I went to pregnancy yoga and the leader said to us "Sound waves can be used to demolish buildings, so just think what Ultrasound scans are doing to babies!!" confused
She also made us march round and do "primal screams." Twas embarrassing. I just pretended to do one but no sound came out.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Fri 21-Sep-12 13:01:52

Also, why do they have to say "namaste". Just say "hi" FFS

Tanyaaah Fri 21-Sep-12 13:02:29

I had found the right teacher but she's left now!

I know it's meant to be spiritual etc, I've never really got that. Maybe I should try Pilates...?

I also know 'proper' breathing is important but we all have different size lungs and breathe at different rates. I hate having to adjust to someone elses breathing.

Tanyaaah Fri 21-Sep-12 13:03:29

I know Richman! I've always hated that, never said it. I think I'm just stubborn.

lurkingfromhome Fri 21-Sep-12 13:06:11

Christ, the "Namaste" does my head in. This woman in my (short-lived) class did that praying hands and bowing head thing at the end of every class and said "Namaste" as she tried to look all spiritual. Bet the closest she'd been to India was the local takeaway.

soorploom Fri 21-Sep-12 13:06:54

sometimes the bells ringing or lots of uuuuuuummmmmmmmmssss can disguise the soft sounds of escaping gas at the other end if you have spent some time on the abdominal excersises- in particular those knees to chest stretches. sorry class! blushx100

Tanyaaah Fri 21-Sep-12 13:23:30

Ha ha ha, hadn't thought of that! Luckily I've never had an "accident".

AngryFeet Fri 21-Sep-12 13:26:57

I did pregnancy yoga and hated it. The breathing crap drove me mad and we hadto do pelvic floor exercises where she told us to clench our vag then clench our bumholes! What is wrong with some people?!

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Fri 21-Sep-12 13:27:59

I agree, a little of the spiritual is fine but too much lighting of the incense/ saying ommmmmmmm / looking through your third eye gets on my nerves.

Back in the dark ages I used to do a lot of Iyengar yoga which was very physical and used lots of props like belts and blankets and blocks of wood to help your body stretch that little bit more - I loved it.

KurriKurri Fri 21-Sep-12 14:00:48

Change classes - I go to 3 yoga classes a week and none of them are wanky, - no need for chanting, certainly no need for bell ringing for breathing (sounds bizarre)

I am generally very anti woo, but I love yoga it has kept me sane and relaxed in difficult times, and taught me how to keep myself calm under stress. I am also very strong and bendy grin

Of course it may be that it is just not the thing for you and you can find something else you like better, but don't give up on yoga just because you have unfortunately got a wanky teacher.

LesleyPumpshaft Fri 21-Sep-12 15:20:31

I like the chanting.

I like Kundalini Yoga, the one that has lots of loud chanting.

They are called Mantras, they help to balance your chakras and raise your Kundalini up your spine, so you can open your crown chakra and achieve oneness with the infinitre cosmos. Or something like that. blush

Right, I'd better be off, have some lentil weaving to attend too. grin

LesleyPumpshaft Fri 21-Sep-12 15:21:39

Sorry, my typing and spelling is shite today! blush

valiumredhead Fri 21-Sep-12 15:23:53

Lesley is that Sahaja Yoga?

drjohnsonscat Fri 21-Sep-12 15:37:22

Agree with the OP. The breathing is important but why are you annointing my bottom with some sort of incense potion? This happened to my sister and I once - we were mid downward dog and the teacher (let's call her Sula or Sulu or Solo or something) padded round everyone dabbing some weird ointment on our bums and muttering healing words. Something to do with chakras. We didn't go back.

LesleyPumpshaft Fri 21-Sep-12 15:38:50

No, unless it has another name. Its called Kundalini Yoga.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange Fri 21-Sep-12 15:40:36

I had Tracy Kim as my instructor. Great woman no wanky nonsense. You have to pick your class.

valiumredhead Fri 21-Sep-12 16:11:15

Ah right, it's similar though.

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