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IABU I know I am. But I dont want to share my birthday <stamps foot>

(19 Posts)
OHforDUCKScake Fri 21-Sep-12 11:10:08

Ok this is relatively light hearted. Im not planning on doing or saying anything, Im just internally having my nose put out of joint.

Since last September Ive had a shitty, shitty year. Or rather, my baby has. Its been bad and its not likely to get better (although we have a referal to Guys in London now and Great Ormond Street - YAY!)

It was my 30th on wed. I can go out as my son is too reliant on me. So Im having some good friends over tomorrow night, beer, wine, a fire pit and laughter. I never make a big deal of my birthday - ever. But Ive been desperate for this. I have hardly seen my friends because of whats been going on, and not like I said things arent going to get better any time soon.

I get an email from a friend coming tomorrow. Says he friend (who I have met once, and is very lovely) has her birthday this weekend too so can see join in on the celebration?

Not being a twat I said yes of course.


THERE I said it. I got it out. Yes I know, its bratty and mememe but I can confess here and play along with being fine about it tomorrow.

MrsKwazii Fri 21-Sep-12 11:13:50

Happy Birthday and glad you have a referral for your son - sounds like it's been hard going.

No, you are not being unreasonable to not want to share your birthday but you are being very gracious in saying yes. Just keep repeating "I am very gracious, me, what a lovely lady." and all will be well wink Enjoy your (joint) birthday celebration.

typicalvirgo Fri 21-Sep-12 11:16:07

Its Ok to moan about it in here but you know in reality YABU.

You shared your birthdate with Me too grin

You may find out that you like this new person very much.

I remember meeting a lovely lady a few years ago at the races, we got chatting and discovered it was our birthday that day. She was a good 10 to 15 years older than me but when we analysed it our lives were so similar and we were even wearing similar outfits that day !

Have a lovely party upset that I am not coming

snuffaluffagus Fri 21-Sep-12 12:30:23

YANBU, I think a lot of people would feel the same. It's at YOUR house, it's YOUR 30th and I'm sure your friends know what a tough time you've been having. But you are doing the right thing in saying yes, ok, more the merrier, so well done. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY and I hope your son gets better soon.

Fillybuster Fri 21-Sep-12 12:42:44

YANBU. But not in a bad way - you've done absolutely the right thing by saying yes to your friend, and anyway, all your friends will be at YOUR house to celebrate YOUR birthday with YOU.

But Y would BU if you let it lessen your enjoyment of the actual party. So what if they sing "happy birthday to ohforduckscake and person xxxx"?

Have a lovely evening - it sounds like you really deserve it. And happy birthday! smile

Badgersnatch Fri 21-Sep-12 12:42:46

YANBU, you've clearly had a bad time and need some fun and now you're going to be hosting someone else's birthday. If I were you I'd be having the mother of all petulant strops grin

Xnedra Fri 21-Sep-12 12:47:28

I don't blame you, you have had an awful year, you deserve a bit of attention focused on you and happy stuff.
Could you say you want to keep as small as posible to avoid any outside contamination into the house?

Numberlock Fri 21-Sep-12 12:47:35

I'm a firm believer in everything happening for a reason; perhaps something special will come out of this extra person coming along. You never know.

elinorbellowed Fri 21-Sep-12 12:48:53

You stamp away! I totally understand. And it's a significant birthday as well!
But, it will still be your birthday, at your house, with your friends. You'll get all the attention and presents. (She's not bringing loads of friends is she?) Have a lovely time!

OHforDUCKScake Fri 21-Sep-12 12:57:56


No I definitely couldnt tell her I want to keep the numbers down, the girl is really lovely. Id like her to come, I just wish it wasnt her birthday too!

Never mind, I defintely wont let it spoil things, I just wanted to pout a bit now and get it over and done with.

Yorkpud Fri 21-Sep-12 13:00:24

YANBU - it's your house!! However, I would also agree like you but feel a bit annoyed!!

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Fri 21-Sep-12 13:14:37

Yabu. Your birthday is are having a post bday celebration and your frend's mate might be shy or not have many mates. SHARE!

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Fri 21-Sep-12 13:15:04

Get the friend a little present and be more sharing! grin

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Fri 21-Sep-12 13:15:40

AND make a cake for her. grin

And buy her a sash with BIRTHDAY GIRL on it.

Kewcumber Fri 21-Sep-12 13:20:04

YANBU - but you know when you have everyone over and you're enjoying yourself, you won't really mind. And just imagine poor other birthday girl sitting alone in her garrett with no-one to celebrate her birthday - it will make you feel really worthy!

MrsKwazii Fri 21-Sep-12 14:35:29

<whispers> "I am very gracious, me, what a lovely lady." wink

RuleBritannia Fri 21-Sep-12 16:19:36

Unfortunately, you have already said that this other birthday girl may come to your party so you can't back out now.

You have had a draining time and it's time you had something a bit uplifting. It might be possible that your friend is bringing her 'mate' because the 'mate' has also had a trying time but you just don't know about it?

It might be a male stripper.

BlueSkySinking Fri 21-Sep-12 16:24:53

Why on earth did you say yes? Could you have just explained that you wanted close friends only after such a hard year?

OHforDUCKScake Fri 21-Sep-12 18:08:36

NOW I feel like an arse.

I HAVE had to say no, and now I feel guilty.

Theres 4 people who I didnt think could make it that are now coming too and my garden is just too titchy for more.

That and Ive seen several friends today who Id love to come but couldnt mention it to because of numbers.

I explained this to my friend and now I feel an arse. I did say I understood if she wanted to stay with her friend and not come to mine now though. Id be gutted if she couldnt make it, but at least her birthday friend wouldnt be on her jack jones. [sad potato face]

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