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to dump a new boyfriend if he does nothing for my birthday?

(149 Posts)
ticktockdontstop Thu 20-Sep-12 21:51:23

We have Been Seeing each other since April. It's my birthday on Monday. He hasn't mentioned anything regarding it until tonight. I have plans with my friends on my birthday day, which he isn't invited to, I said it would be nice and romantic to do something just us on the weekend.
I expect him to maybe suggest dinner or something.
Tonight on the phone he says he has been meaning to ask what I would like for my birthday. I did the polite thing and said that he Didnt have to get me anything. And he said that was good.

I'm a bit upset.
And given that he is a self confessed c
heapskate, I now don't expect anything, but I would never be so rude as to ask for something, if that makes sense.
I think It's quite possible I might not even get a card.

I'm also sad that at this stage you would think he might be making some kind of effort.
Am I being unreasonable/ too precious to dump him over this?

Abitwobblynow Mon 08-Oct-12 08:17:52

Well done!

(I so wish someone had told me this when I was little...)

Abitwobblynow Mon 08-Oct-12 08:16:20

'When a person tells you who they are, believe them' - Maya Angelou


You are worth more than this. He gets away with this, he gets permission to get away with more.

Funnylittleturkishdelight Mon 08-Oct-12 07:49:37

Good decision. It is good to have high standards, to know what you want and to know what you'll not settle. I married my settle, things like you've detailed bothered me and snowballed and I woke up one day and realised I could never 'rest' again knowing this wasn't the life I wanted. There were other massive, huge issues- but I should have seen them coming, given the early warning signs.

I left and found the person who was right for me. Never ever settle.

Seenenoughtoknow Mon 08-Oct-12 01:52:25

Just realised I'm too late! Good decision - you won't regret it later on in life.

Seenenoughtoknow Mon 08-Oct-12 01:50:18

I once dumped someone because we got onto the subject of 'romance' in relationships, and he told me he just wasn't a romantic. I asked him if that meant he would NEVER buy me flowers, and he said that was true. I honestly couldn't imagine a life with no romance, so I ended it, and am still glad to this day I did!

You don't have to be a desperate romantic to just want a nice surprise or some flowers every now and then. I'm sorry, but your bf sounds like my ex...could you live a lifetime with no all??

He would be dumped if there was no surprise on Tuesday.

Iodine Mon 08-Oct-12 01:27:24

PJs and socks! He must have grabbed the first things he saw in the shop. A present like that is acceptable when you have been together a few years (I love new pjs) but not when he's supposed to be impressing you.

Glad you got out Ticktock.

PropositionJoe Sun 07-Oct-12 20:21:02

Aw come on, it's not the pjs and socks that's the problem, it's the lack of thought. That could be a nice present combined with cooking supper and buying a bottle of her favourite wine. But it wasn't!

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sun 07-Oct-12 19:45:38

Good for you! Pj's and socks? Jesus Christ! What a twat!

gimmecakeandcandy Sun 07-Oct-12 19:36:34

Thanks goodness you dumped the loser and stopped listening to his shit excuses for everything. You did the right thing. Now, don't waste another second thinking about him - just breathe a sigh of relief he is gone as he really was a loser.

UltraBOF Sun 07-Oct-12 18:57:23

Oh, I see you did grin

Good for you kiddo.

MsVestibule Sun 07-Oct-12 18:55:08

ticktock I always used to feel rubbish when I'd ended a relationship, too. The thing is, although he may well be a very nice person, he would have continued to disappoint you for ever and ever. Being a cheapskate and thoughtless are not very attractive character traits - if it was just about the present, that might be different, but there were quite a few red flags...

UltraBOF Sun 07-Oct-12 18:53:09

Oh, tell him to fuck off.

monsterchild Sun 07-Oct-12 18:48:35

I don't often do anything for DH. I'm not really big on birthdays. Probably because it wasn't a big deal with my family, and mine especially was rarely celebrated. (due to the date, not because they don't like me, I don't think....)

My Dh is from a party-tastic birthday family. He teases me that I don't remember our anniversary and I don't do birthdays. But I do get him things throughout the year, i just don't save them up special for one day. Although I do try to do something for him, it's just I am not used to having my birthday celebrated, so it's hard to remember I'm not like most people!

However, if your BF is like me, and you require birthdays to be noticed no matter what you tell him, you're better off having dumped him, really.

ticktockdontstop Sun 07-Oct-12 18:37:52

I know. Im too old in the tooth to fall for it but still, its hard to do.

LindyHemming Sun 07-Oct-12 17:58:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Darkesteyeswithflecksofgold Sun 07-Oct-12 17:52:56

Tight git!

Darkesteyeswithflecksofgold Sun 07-Oct-12 17:52:38

Yes thanks for coming back to tell us.
Hes doing the all upset thing precisely to guilt trip you. Dont fall for it xx
You deserve better x

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 07-Oct-12 17:50:09

Thanks for coming back to tell us. I'll admit, we are nosy and interfering. I think you dodged a bullet. Sorry you feel guilty. thanks from me.

WhereYouLeftIt Sun 07-Oct-12 17:47:13

Oh, do NOT feel guilty for that way lies getting back together with a waste of space!

It was a fairly new relationship, and you were perfectly correct when you said "I'm also sad that at this stage you would think he might be making some kind of effort." Be grateful that you have dodged The Bullet Of Eternal Disappointment.

Remember - Grateful, not Guilty! grin

ParsleyTheLioness Sun 07-Oct-12 16:38:33

Don't feel guilty!

ticktockdontstop Sun 07-Oct-12 16:21:59

He was very upset and i feel guilty.

Numberlock Sun 07-Oct-12 16:19:29

Well I'm sorry things didn't work out for you. How did he take the news? How are you feeling?

ticktockdontstop Sun 07-Oct-12 16:13:10

Surprised to see my thread on the first page.

He did buy me a gift, which was something id expect from my mother; pjs and socks.

No meal, i cooked for him. He didnt even wash up. No wine, no flowers, nothing.

I dumped him a few days later.

ParsleyTheLioness Sun 07-Oct-12 15:07:48

Go on, MrsP you know you want to...

Dozer Thu 04-Oct-12 22:17:34

Even if the OP received diamond earrings she should run for the hills!

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