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to think that a litre of Smirnoff is not ok to give to a 16 year old?

(71 Posts)
annoakley Fri 07-Sep-12 18:23:23

To cut a long story short, after my dd 'hosted' her 15th birthday in our house last year and the place got trashed, I said no to one this year. her dad however, has agreed to have it in his. His problem, none of my business, that's not the issue. So, the party is tomorrow night. I candidly approached the 'alcohol' conversation and asked what her plans were in regard to what she'd be drinking. We're quite relaxed about alcohol and if she's going to a party I'll normally buy her drink (usually Kopparberg). She said not to worry, dad had sorted it as he was letting her use his place. Upon further enquiry I've found out he's bought her a litre bottle of Smirnoff and passed it off as a '16th birthday gift'. I don't know, I just think it's a bit irresponsible. So, before (or if) I speak to him about this, AIBU?

Socknickingpixie Fri 07-Sep-12 18:24:52

that is compleatly unacceptable

rubyslippers Fri 07-Sep-12 18:26:01

But you're both giving her alcohol (assume the drink you mention is alcoholic)

Proudnscary Fri 07-Sep-12 18:26:52

Is the bottle meant for the party ie shared amongst loads of people? If so that doesn't seem insane...

AgentZigzag Fri 07-Sep-12 18:27:10

I would judge vodka to be a bit different to a couple of beers, for a start you need less to get shitfaced, which at 16 is going to happen (hopefully, if they've not been drinking so much to build up a tolerance to it).

I would speak to him anyway about it, no need to go OTT and make him feel you're laying down the law, just say you're a bit worried.

Chances are, if she does have it she'll be sick and never touch another drop.

OrangeLily Fri 07-Sep-12 18:28:04

This remind me about a story of DH at a similar age that ended with an ambulance. Not cool.

Geordieminx Fri 07-Sep-12 18:29:07

It depends on whether it is to be shared. If she (or anyone else) drinks that or even half of it I would imagine it Woyld be a hospital job sad

AWomanCalledHorse Fri 07-Sep-12 18:32:12

I would give a 16yr old a litre bottle of Smirnoff if I could trust them not to act the big & try & neck the whole thing.
Don't go on the attack, as you buy her alcohol you've not got a leg to stand on, just make sure he'll be about/her friends aren't total idiots & know what to do if one of them has too much to drink....and that their parents know there will be alcohol at the party, and that he knows he'll be in the shit if it all goes wrong.

When I was 16 we had a friend pass out on us after 2 bottles of Stella, so just hope they all know their limits.

NatashaBee Fri 07-Sep-12 18:32:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WithoutCaution Fri 07-Sep-12 18:32:57

Seems like a perfectly reasonable birthday gift especially if she will be sharing it. You could always provide some coke a cola/lemonade to put with it. You'd be horrified if I told you how much more than that my parents and my friends brought over for my 16th. My parents trusted me to be responsible and to clear up any mess after...

MrsRobertDuvallHasRosacea Fri 07-Sep-12 18:36:33

It's dd's 16th tomorrow, and I have just been to get coke and appletiser grin

She has 10 for a sleepover. Including 2 boys.

annoakley Fri 07-Sep-12 18:38:03

He's not going to be in, no. I have no idea if other parents know, I don't even know who's going! I have seen my daughter drinking cider/lager and so far she has been quite sensible. A litre of vodka handed on a plate at a birthday party could be a different story though. Also, she is very small (4'11" and a size 8) and I'm sure a few voddies would put her on her back. Worried.

thepeoplesprincess Fri 07-Sep-12 18:41:00

Sounds like a waste of perfectly good Smirnoff if you ask me. Whatever happened to Imperial?

beamme Fri 07-Sep-12 18:45:09

I am utterly speechless that anyone would supply any form of alcohol to underage children. You may think your child is sensible but what about the other children there? There are age restrictions for a reason.

annoakley Fri 07-Sep-12 18:46:53

Well no, the age restrictions apply to the sale of alcohol. It's not illegal for people under 18 to drink per se. I would rather my dd drank supervised and supplied by me than under a bridge personally.

EllenParsons Fri 07-Sep-12 18:47:28

shock No I don't think it's an appropriate gift for a 16 year old!

Moominsarescary Fri 07-Sep-12 18:47:42

It wouldn't bother me, but I know he wouldn't drink it all at once. Mines 17 now but I still wouldn't have a party for him with alcohol as I don't know if the other parents would be ok with it an if the other teenagers would drink sensibly

beamme Fri 07-Sep-12 18:49:45

The point is you/ex are supplying other peoples children with alcohol, most likely without parental consent. And you have said the party will not be supervised.

annoakley Fri 07-Sep-12 18:50:35

At no point did I suggest me or my ex were supplying anyone but our own daughter with alcohol.

kinkyfuckery Fri 07-Sep-12 18:50:41

Surely the whole "supplying and supervising" underage drinking applies to maybe 17 year olds, though? Not 15 year olds? I know it's not illegal, but it's also not very sensible is it? If not exactly for the reasons that because you've been keeping your 15 year old in cider, your ex now thinks it appropriate to supply her with vodka!

chocoluvva Fri 07-Sep-12 18:54:06

Sounds like a recipe for disaster IMO.
I would not allow my DD to go to a party involving spirits that had been laid on and definitely not without adult supervision. I think her dad is being very irresponsible.
FWIW I do give my DD who's the same age a lot of freedom in other areas, so it's not as if I'm an overprotective parent.

chocoluvva Fri 07-Sep-12 18:55:22

I'm not sure about the legality if there's no over 18 there.

MrsRobertDuvallHasRosacea Fri 07-Sep-12 18:58:08

No alcohol at ours tomorrow...some are just 15.

We will be there, and because I personally know all children and parents have told them there won't be any alcohol. Don't want teenagers puking everywhere.

Dd has tried wine and bacardi under our supervision and hates the taste.

NettOlympicSuperstar Fri 07-Sep-12 18:58:20

No fucking way.
Vodka and teens do not mix, and yes I had my stomach pumped, and knew plenty of others who did too.

honeytea Fri 07-Sep-12 18:59:59

I think it's a bad idea, The problem with spirits is that you can drink alot and not realise how drunk you are. With beer/cider you have the time whilst you drink the alcohol to see how it is making you feel.

Because the party will be unsupervised I think the potential for the other children sharing the vodka is very high. If your ex has given your dd a liter of vodka to herself he is bu and if he has bought it for the party he is also bu.

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