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To think that red hair on a 14yo isn't a discipline issue?

(252 Posts)
GilbGeekette Thu 06-Sep-12 10:36:17

14 yo DD (just starting Year 10) has just been sent home from school on her first day for having "too bright" hair. Her hair is dyed auburn/red (having had it neon pink all summer) in accordance with, I thought, school policy of dyed hair having to fall into the spectrum of 'natural' hair colour. Her HoY rang me (apologetically, it must be said) and I accepted (even though I disagree) that they weren't happy with the colour, and said I would re-dye it tonight. This wasn't good enough, and I was given a choice between her spending the day in the 'isolation room' (with no set work) or her coming home and me re-dying it now. I've taken the latter option, as I'm a SAHM - if I was working this wouldn't have been an option.

I'm accepting (ish) of the school thinking that her hair isn't a reasonable colour, but AIBU in thinking that verbal assurances from me that it would be rectified by tomorrow morning should be enough? Fwiw, there are no discipline/behavioural issues with DD and school, (quite the contrary - they've always been extremely positive about her) and until now I thought that we'd all had a good relationship...

beachyhead Thu 06-Sep-12 10:37:57

Anything is a discipline issue if it is against the rules...

FutTheShuckUp Thu 06-Sep-12 10:38:39

Meh.
If me and my fellow pupils were isolated/excluded from school for having 'unatural' 'too bright' or plain odd hair do's/colours none of us would have got GCSE's/jobs now.
I just dont get the obsession with schools enforcing hairdo's

GoldPlatedNineDoors Thu 06-Sep-12 10:39:45

Well, not sending her back to school with (in your own words) hair that "isnt a reasonable colour" would have been step one.

Hardly fair of you to criticize the school attempting to handle students being allowed by their parents to flout the rules.

pumpkinsweetie Thu 06-Sep-12 10:42:16

If you promised to dye it tonight i cannot see why she should miss a whole day of school. She misses a whole day of education because they don't accept red hair, bit ott in my book.

Funny that when a pupil is a bully they don't send them straight homeangry

milkteef Thu 06-Sep-12 10:43:53

Is auburn not a 'natural' colour now?

GilbGeekette Thu 06-Sep-12 10:44:19

GPND, that wasn't what I said. What I said was "Her hair is dyed auburn/red (having had it neon pink all summer) in accordance with, I thought, school policy of dyed hair having to fall into the spectrum of 'natural' hair colour." I wouldn't have let her dye it a colour that wasn't in accordance with the rules. It's more the over-arching issue of it having to be rectified today that's making me gyp.

StealthPolarBear Thu 06-Sep-12 10:44:48

I think the school is over the top on this rule, however I would go along with it, as are you. But missing a day of school despite reassurances you'd sort it out tonight is petty and small minded on their part IMO.

AppleCrumbleAndFish Thu 06-Sep-12 10:44:56

If she'd been allowed to carry on as normal with her day then half of year 10 would have pink hair tomorrow.

Scholes34 Thu 06-Sep-12 10:45:15

Unfortunately for you, if the school at the start of a new year, is wanting to show it is being tough on enforcing its rules and attempting to instill some discipline amongst its pupils, pupils can't be seen to be getting away with flouting the rules. Pupils always push the boundaries and the school will, in some cases, yours being an example, appear to have over-reacted. The school obviously is wanting to show that its rules are important, are there for a reason, and should be adhered to. So YAB slightly U, but hopefully the situation won't arise again.

Margerykemp Thu 06-Sep-12 10:48:17

Can you show us a picture ( of someone else) of exactly what colour it is?

Otherwise how can we really know who is being reasonable?

OatyBeatie Thu 06-Sep-12 10:48:24

I'm glad that schools are firm on their policy of disallowing hair that looks dyed. I want schools to do what they can to discourage a culture in which children, especially girls, are encouraged to waste money and expose themselves to unnecessary chemicals because of a cosmetic preoccupation.

GilbGeekette Thu 06-Sep-12 10:48:47

Won't happen again - it's dyed brown (or it's taking the colour now, she's sitting here with a showercap on!) I take Apple's point about it being, from the schools PoV, thin end of the wedge territory; that was what her HoY said. Meh - live and learn. The hardest part has been sticking up for the school (which is what I've done) to DD smile

pumpkinsweetie Thu 06-Sep-12 10:49:05

Auburn/red sounds pretty much normal spectrum to me

StealthPolarBear Thu 06-Sep-12 10:49:59

Applecrimvle her hair wasn't pink

NiniLegsInTheAir Thu 06-Sep-12 10:50:02

So are natural redheads excluded from that school then? Sounds a bit barmy

StealthPolarBear Thu 06-Sep-12 10:50:30

I wondered that grin

Paiviaso Thu 06-Sep-12 10:50:31

If they let her walk around with the bright hair all day, other students who see her will assume it's a tolerated colour. The school would be undermining their rules.

Lucygettingmarried Thu 06-Sep-12 10:50:33

Yanbu.

Verbal assurances that you will re dye her hair should have been enough. To give you the option of leaving your place of work or your daughter missing out on a day of education in an'isolation room' would make me go absolutely ballistic.

So no, I don't think you are being unreasonable whatsoever.

GilbGeekette Thu 06-Sep-12 10:50:40

It's this one I think. Apols if link doesn't work!

StealthPolarBear Thu 06-Sep-12 10:54:58

Paiv, letting the other pupils see Er go home and come back with it "fixed" gets the point across just as effectively, while reinforcing the message that attendance at education should not be compromised where possble.

AppleCrumbleAndFish Thu 06-Sep-12 10:56:51

Stealth, I didn't say it was. If you let one person break the rules someone else will follow and take it a little bit further.

pumpkinsweetie Thu 06-Sep-12 10:58:13

Your link looks of normal colour to me, the school are barmy

LadyofWinterfell Thu 06-Sep-12 10:59:49

Blimey, it's hardly like it was a 'Live' shade of red! I had a friend at high school who's hair was naturally a brighter shade of auburn than that.

But you've corrected it, the school should have let her stay for the day.

TitsalinaBumSquash Thu 06-Sep-12 11:00:28

I have visions on them standing pupils next to a colour chart to make sure their hair is of regulation colour.

Mad if you ask me, what do natural redheads do?!

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