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AIBU?

PFB first day at school parents ignoring the schools request to NOT accompany their PFB into the cloak room.

265 replies

D0oinMeCleanin · 04/09/2012 09:18

If you are one of these parents FUCKING STOP IT! FFS!

The cloakroom is built to comfortably hold 60 children, 2 teachers and 4 TAs. Not 60 children, 2 teachers, 4 TAs, 30 mummies, 20 daddies, 10 sets of grandparents, 6 toddling siblings and 3 babes in buggies.

20 fucking minutes it took me to convince my yr1 child to go into her cloakroom because she didn't dare push past all the fecking imbecile parents. Do you realise how daunting it is for a 3ft something child to have to force her way through that lot!?!

And to the mummy who shoved past dd2 to get to her whimpering child - shame on you Angry You'd better hope you don't me in small, crowded space. You'll be the one going face first into the fucking wall. I can guarantee you that.

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Sparklingbrook · 04/09/2012 09:21

Mine are older but I know exactly what you mean. Angry

If the school say not to accompany them that's what they mean. And why the whole family need to go in I will never know. Confused

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Fisharefriendsnotfood · 04/09/2012 09:21

Good morning Smile

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poachedeggs · 04/09/2012 09:24

The head teacher here congratulated us all on our restraint Grin

We were spoiled though because the staff from the school nursery who had been caring for our DC the previous year spent the first fortnight of term helping out with the cloakroom stuff and cuddling weeping DC and their parents so it was easy to dump and run!

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MangoHedgehog · 04/09/2012 09:24

sorry but YABU - it's not only your child who needs emotional support on 1st day of school you know

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ReallyTired · 04/09/2012 09:24

I suppose that why many schools stagger the intake of new children and have the first day of the reception and nursery children start half an hour after the rest of the school.

DD starts nursery next week and ds is ten years old.

You have my sympathy

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Sparklingbrook · 04/09/2012 09:26

There should be staff on the door to take the children in and not allow the parents in.

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WhatYouLookingAt · 04/09/2012 09:26

Get mad at the school for letting them, and tone down the anger a bit?

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surroundedbyblondes · 04/09/2012 09:27

YANBU! Things like that make me so angry. Especially as DH and I really try and respect the school when they have rules/requests like that.

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GWenlockMaryLacey · 04/09/2012 09:27

Nice Hmm

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crashdollGOLD · 04/09/2012 09:28

It's the school's fault for not stopping the parents.

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parachutesarefab · 04/09/2012 09:29

School should enforce the rule and not let other family members in. Once one goes in, others think it's okay too...

At our school I think you could take them into the playground on the first morning, then drop them at the gate.

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CailinDana · 04/09/2012 09:29

Yanbu. As a teacher i was still chasing parents out if the y1 cloakroom abd the bloody classroom in december. Luckily by y2 most parents have seen sense. But there will always be a few who just don't listen.

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D0oinMeCleanin · 04/09/2012 09:29

Mango, it would not be so daunting to any of the children if the rules were obeyed and the cloakroom was kept calm and quiet.

They had several visits at the end of last term where they were shown where their peg was and where their classroom was and where they met their teachers.

There is absolutely no reason for parents to be in the cloakroom. None. At all. And there is no reason for grandparents to be anywhere near the school, unless it is because the parents are absent due to work.

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poachedeggs · 04/09/2012 09:29

It's impossible to give emotional support to a child in a press of snivelling mums, second cousins and half uncles. If you've explained to the child in advance, drilled them on changing their own shoes and shown them how to hang up a coat then you can have a nice cuddle in the playground. You have to hand them over somewhere, what's the difference between the playground and the classroom doorway (other than the latter inconveniences everyone else)?

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BadRoly · 04/09/2012 09:30

I can accept it for the first day, perhaps even the first week. But after that, is it really necessary for the little darlings to have an adult hang up their coat/swap their book/put their lunch box on the trolley?

I'm a huge fan of the children lining up in the playground and being taken in by the teacher/TA.

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Sparklingbrook · 04/09/2012 09:30

I always feel like I am the bonkers one for actually doing as the school asked. It's like the rules were just for me. Sad

I think D0oin is just having a vent on here.

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Callisto · 04/09/2012 09:30

Gosh, you sound really lovely and understanding Dooin Hmm.

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Toughasoldboots · 04/09/2012 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slartybartfast · 04/09/2012 09:30

exactly, the child may be brave but it is the parents who are crying.

my dd started at one school in september where we were encouraged to drop them at the door, immediatley.
changed schools, in january the parents were still going in to a miniscule cloakroom and into the classroom Shock
i felt bad when i waltzed of Blush

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valiumredhead · 04/09/2012 09:32

The school should've stopped it if it was such a problem.

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CailinDana · 04/09/2012 09:35

There were times when i had to say "you need to leave NOW" to parents who were actually wandering around the classroom!

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THERhubarb · 04/09/2012 09:35

Whilst your anger is understandable, it is not the fault of the parents but the school. Many schools anticipate this crowd and put measures in place like staggered school times for the first week or teachers meeting pupils at the door and allowing parents to say goodbye before the child goes in.

My ds is 8 and has separation anxiety, so I often accompany him into school where he is met by his teacher and is peeled off me. He can be very bad for the first week but will calm down eventually. I can hardly ask the teacher to desert the rest of the class just to give my boy special attention.

Year 1 children are still very small and vulnerable and it's little wonder that parents want to ensure that they are ok, that they can find their hanger, that they get into the classroom ok, etc. Your anger is misdirected at a group of parents who quite rightly care a lot about their children and the first day back at school. There will be a lot of tears and it's bloody hard being a parent and seeing your child collapse in tears and plead with you not to go.

The school is at fault here. You can't just ask parents not to accompany tiny Year 1 children into the hall, you need to cater for upset children and equally upset parents.

So yes, you are being unreasonable and unsympathetic. I'm sorry your own child finds it frightening and I don't blame her, but it's the school you should be ranting at.

Besides, I feel sorrier for those kids whose parents don't give a toss and can hardly be arsed to drag themselves out of bed to take their kids to school. At least these parents show that they DO care. Now the school just needs to take those concerns into consideration and plan around this first week, which in your case they are clearly failing to do.

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LtEveDallas · 04/09/2012 09:35

If someone had pushed my 6 year old DD face first into the wall I'd be pretty fucking angry as well Angry.

Hope she is OK Doin, lets hope things calm down tomorrow. DD's school has a totally different entrance and cloakroom for the Reception kids. A much better idea. It's annoying that your DD still has to run that gauntlet now she's a 'big year 1 girl'.

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D0oinMeCleanin · 04/09/2012 09:36

I am very understanding of the fact that once I did convince her to try and force her way into her own cloakroom she was shoved face first into a wall by a PFB mummy who had to run full pelt to get to her son who stood whining in the doorway, even though he was already being attended to by a TA. There is no excuse for that behaviour.

My child is important too. Maybe not to that mum, but she is to me. I would have been understanding of her reaction were her child stood there spurting blood everywhere, but he wasn't.

It should not take me 20 minutes to drop my children at school. The rules are in place for a reason and that reason is that the cloakrooms are too small for all of those parents. It is upsetting for the children to be that hemmed in.

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CwtchesAndCuddles · 04/09/2012 09:36

At dd / ds schools parents never make it over the threshold - you say goodbye at the door at that is it!

Weeping parents are left outside and the children adapt quickly to saying bye at the door.

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