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mother in law - monster?

(41 Posts)
spudpudding Sun 26-Aug-12 20:38:21

My mother in law has come to visit - staying in hotel - went out for a meal tonight and someone commented on my new hairdo - it is nice - yes she said hubby looked after the two children! - is it just me or would you take offence? i thought they had cut the cord?? and i did leave my children - at home with their father! spoken to hubby who just said it was me and should just ignore her, but she is staying for a week and she does my head in - any advice??

emsyj Sun 26-Aug-12 20:41:42

My DMum thinks is is just incredible that I can actually go out for the day/evening and leave DD with her father - she quite often asks who's looking after/looked after DD if I say I have been/am going out hmm. I suppose because she never had a husband who would lift a finger. I wouldn't worry about it, it's just a generational thing.

WorraLiberty Sun 26-Aug-12 20:45:39


A bit annoying - yes

But Monster?


Floggingmolly Sun 26-Aug-12 20:45:59

It probably didn't happen in her day, and she's just amazed to have produced such an enlightened son? It isn't necessarily negative.

McHappyPants2012 Sun 26-Aug-12 20:46:32

I took my father 4 years to get over the fact dh had the children while I went out.... Many debates over this

JumpingThroughMoreHoops Sun 26-Aug-12 20:48:17

Does everyone on MN actively look for slights every time a MIL opens her mouth?

IMHO your rude, disrespectful shoving her in a hotel rather than giving her your bed and you both sleeping on the floor/sofa of the lounge .

Pick the bones out of that.

Tee2072 Sun 26-Aug-12 20:48:48

Seriously? Monster? Because she doesn't agree that your husband is mature enough to look after his own children?

Because I honestly think that's what it is most of the time with these things. It's not that they think you're a bad mum. It's the they can't believe their babies can take care of babies themselves.

Just smile at her condescendingly and feel sorry for her that she never trusted her own husband enough to do this.

Pancakeflipper Sun 26-Aug-12 20:52:27

Is that the worst thing she has said? If so then she is an angelic MIL and not a monster.

roundtable Sun 26-Aug-12 21:01:51

Monster seems rather strong from what you've said.

Confusing post.

Floggingmolly Sun 26-Aug-12 21:03:14

She has come to visit, why is she staying in a hotel? None of our family or friends would ever stay in a hotel when in our area; I'd be mortified to be so inhospitable. She's your DH's mum, doesn't she deserve to be made welcome in your home?

Tee2072 Sun 26-Aug-12 21:07:17

The hotel thing doesn't seem odd to me, as we don't have room for everyone to stay with us when they visit and I give up my bed for no one.

But to call her a monster for that?

Peevish Sun 26-Aug-12 21:11:45

Gosh, all our families stay in a hotel when they come to visit (from abroad) - our flat is tiny.

OP - yes, it's annoying, but generational to an extent. None of the older women in our combined families - mother, MIL, aunts - can quite get their heads around my partner sterilising bottles, far less taking care of our baby for a three-day weekend while I make a work deadline.

spudpudding Sun 26-Aug-12 21:12:06

could go on all night about the various things that have been said and why she is staying in a hotel - can't be bothered. Don't think that I will be posting on mumsnet again - thanks to those of you who were supportive, but the other stuff!!

Tee2072 Sun 26-Aug-12 21:12:41


Okay. Bye.

DoMeDon Sun 26-Aug-12 21:14:12

She commented he looked after DC. Did he? Yes, then it was a factual comment which only loons would read into. Am assuming the others at dinner made no comments - you are the only loon!

squeakytoy Sun 26-Aug-12 21:15:03

you would take offence at such a comment? you need to chill out a bit really...

Flisspaps Sun 26-Aug-12 21:15:50


maillotjaune Sun 26-Aug-12 21:16:02

The hotel thing sounds fine. My MIL does nor stay with us anymore due to 1. no space since DS3 and 2. her trying to start arguments (mainly with DH not me) at every available opportunity.

But she has said some incredibly hurtful things, none of which involve leaving children while you get a haircut which I agree is probably just a generational thing and no big deal.

If that's all she has done then turn a blind eye and don't be so nasty.

JumpingThroughMoreHoops Sun 26-Aug-12 21:16:45

Mind you, conversely, with 99% of the fruit loop DILs posting on here, the only safe place fora MIL is a hotel

DoMeDon Sun 26-Aug-12 21:17:45

Brilliant flounce

giveitago Sun 26-Aug-12 21:19:01

I stopped reading when you said your mil stayed in a hotel to be honest. I was so impressed.

Viperidae Sun 26-Aug-12 21:19:20

My mother used to act as though DH had just single-handedly saved the world when he changed a nappy as, apparently DF never changed one despite having 3 children. It is a generation thing, ignore it and pick your battles.

giveitago Sun 26-Aug-12 21:21:13

Oh and staying for a week only in a hotel? Doubly impressed.

EvilSynchronisedDivers Sun 26-Aug-12 21:26:17

My MIL once called me a pig-ignorant peasant loudly, in a local restaurant, because I'd objected to FIL referring to the Iraqi army as "fucking stupid pakis".yours is noting, OP, of that's the only objection. wink

TheCrackFox Sun 26-Aug-12 21:31:31

TBH as an example of monsterdom, it was very lame.

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