To wonder if anyone enjoys the newborn phase?

[raininginbaltimore]

It is so relentless. I have hit a bit of a wall. I feel like a fat, sweaty mess. DD is 3 weeks old. I should have remembered this from ds.

I feel trapped in a cycle of feeding, holding washing bottles, sterilising etc. By the time I finish feeding her (it can take over an hour) and start preparing it is time to start again. I can't bloody do anything without ds needing a toilet or dd being feeling. Bottle feeding sucks s. It s a huge faff and I wish I didn't have to.

She cries when put down. I have a sling, but can't use it all time, like to shower or sleep!

I can't predict her feeds, so I am awake now as she wnt sleep and will want feeding again soon I think

I know, I know this too shall pass. But do people really enjoy this stage?

[NCForNow]

How awful. I feel for you! I remember being all messy and feeling grubby...how are you prepping the bottles?

I know there are new rules...but both of mine (now 8 and 4) I prepped the bottles right from the sterilizer....put boiled water in whilst it was still hot. The left them to cool down.

I just used one or two batches a day....added formula as required.

I did't use those bottles the next day nor keep them in the fridge. Room temp was what both mine got used to. If you want to heat them up a bit, then it takes a lot less time when they are room temp.

[FarmerKate]

I have to confess I never enjoyed that stage, but always felt very guilty about not doing so! I observed some of my friends being all glowy and serenely happy and wished I was them, rather than frazzled, tired me... but now am wondering if maybe was an act on their part too?! Good luck and hope it all settles down soon...as you say, it does pass all too soon!

[dequoisagitil]

No, it was awful and stressful and sleepless and relentless for me too. A continual blur of feeding and crying and ghastliness.

But the good news is, it passes, you will get through. You did before, you will this time. The baby will start to settle for longer, will start smiling (not just gas!) and things will look brighter.

You could always have yourself checked out for PND if that might be a factor. Better to get help sooner than later - makes for a quicker recovery.

[CaliforniaLeaving]

I must be odd then I loved it.
Since having my own I went on to foster about 15 babies most from new and loved it all, 2am feedings in the quiet, watching the sun come up, rocking in the rocking chair. Loved it all.

[Kaluki]

I loved it!
Every single part of it!
But I did have two very easy babies!

[WelshMaenad]

How much is she taking per feed? Can you get some packs of those little glass bottles with disposable teats? Pricey but maybe worth it for a few weeks till she settles herself into a feeding pattern.

[raininginbaltimore]

The first week was like that. Feeding and watching her,feeling peaceful.

But now I feel fat and grubby and knackered. She feeds at least 12 times a day. Leaving the house is a ridiculous challenge trying to fit around feeds. I known that is normal, but is hard when I am used to chucking ds's drink in a bag and leaving.

I want to be out talking to other adults. But I can't get out of house before 11am. That is when all the toddler groups end.

[kittyandthefontanelles]

Loved it. Miss it a bit. Found it much easier than my now 9 month old. was a lot less tired then compared to now.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Not until I was (am) on my 3rd!

But EVERYTHING revolves around my getting enough sleep!

[Wheredidmyyouthgo]

I loved it too, all of it, I see I was very lucky.

[raininginbaltimore]

She takes anything between 1-4oz. Mostly she wakes up roots, cried etc. She takes 1oz and refuses more. Sleeps on me, can't be putting down. Then half hour later might have 2 more oz. Then sleeps. Then sometimes has a final 1oz a bit later.

[jaggythistle]

I've really enjoyed it this time despite the tiredness. it's probably just because i had a quick labour and ok birth compared to last time being shattered and having ended up with a cs.

I've been able to enjoy DS2 more even with DS1 to chase after. DS1 had a tongue tie so feeding was v stressful the first couple of weeks whereas this time we had no trouble, plus i knew what i was doing.

just for info, formula must be made with water >70°C to kill bacteria in the powder, freshly made is a best, but next best is to make a few with the hot water, cool very quickly and store at the back of the fridge till needed. making with cold water as mentioned above is not safe. i think you can keep them for 12 hours in the fridge?

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Ask your HV to refer you to home start. When dd was born I had them for 6 weeks. They are bloody brilliant. They are supposed to help in whatever way you need, but all I wanted was someone to drink tea with and tell me I was a great parent!

[tuckingfits]

I remember well the utter relentlessness of the early days (lasted for weeks/months for me with infections & breastfeeding difficulties) I felt a total failure as I didn't know anyone else with a newborn - the groups I went to were populated by mums of babies who were at least 6 months old & they all looked so slim,glam,under control & happy in comparison to how I felt & looked. However,I think the vast majority of people struggle - could be wrong.

we are discussing having our next baby & the thought of labour & then the early days again fills me with dread & apprehension. If I could be 6 months pregnant forever I'd be satisfied with that. But looking back the newborn cuddles were lovely...

[raininginbaltimore]

Less tired? She'll only sleep reliably on me. Even co-sleeping is an endless shushing, patting, rocking.

Then just as she settles in morning for her longest sleep, ds wakes up.

[CoolaSchmoola]

I enjoyed it and found it hard at the same time.

As for bottle feeding. To be certain you have killed any bacteria in the formula it has to be added to the water when it's above 70 degrees, so no more than 30 mins after the kettle has boiled. If you then cool rapidly (I do mine in the sink) and put them at the very back of the fridge you can actually store them safely for up to 24 hours. The only reason this is not recommended is because people weren't storing them correctly (ie at the front or in the door - both of which are warmer) so there was a higher chance of an upset tummy.

I found making my bottles in advance made such a massive difference to my life. Plus it meant that DH could help by doing them before work.

I still make them in advance now - although we're down to three bottles a day as DD is 11 months.

[dequoisagitil]

If you want to go to baby/toddler groups, just go - they should have facilities to allow you to feed the baby while your older child plays.

Put together a going-out bag and just go. Carry a flask of hot water and the formula.

[tuckingfits]

Homestart sounds great. All I wanted was to be able to shower (a lengthy process with c section scar & fucked up nipples that couldn't bear water splashing on them) without a crying baby who didn't.sleep.

[raininginbaltimore]

I know about safe bottle feeding, I have had to do it from start to know

I make up 6 at a time, but need flask etc for out and about. She needed feeding on bus today and I couldn't as I couldn't make up bottle. She screamed and everyone stared.

I still have to do bottles twice a day. She feeds so frequently.

[jaggythistle]

i am also shit at getting out of the house. i have to be up and showered before DS1 gets up at 7 to have a chance and DS2 is 4 months old! getting up before 7 is the last thing i want to do.

it is a big change having baby who throws up on himself or does a big poo just when you're trying to leave...

[bronze]

i learned to love it as by my last couple I had learned to relax
and I'm too lazy to bottle feed or worry about sleep training

[dequoisagitil]

Do you have a partner? Is he helping as much as he could?

[raininginbaltimore]

I can't get us out of house in time. I go for shower, bay screams. Ds gets upset /tries some kamikaze stunt. Then I have to get ds dressed. Any needs feeding. Then changing. Then I have to pack bag whilst holding baby. Then ds decides to drop something /spill something /have toddler breakdown over n toy.

This morning we were up at 7am I isn't stop moving and we didn't leave house until 10.30.

[Noqontrol]

I loved it all, in retrospect. But when I was actually doing it was damn hard. I'm happier at the stage I am now (2 and 4 yr old)

[raininginbaltimore]

I have to bottle feed. I take lithium for bipolar so bf was never a good option.

DH is back at work. He does do stuff, but isn't very helpful with baby. He is good with ds though.