To want dd to have an operation for 'vanity' reasons.(176 Posts)
My daughter has cryptic tonsils. This means she suffers terrible from tonsil stones or tonsilloths. They can range from the size of a bit of sweetcorn, to a big wad of chewed gum. And they stink. Really stink. They're basically calcified bacteria, saliva and mucus. (Sorry if you're having your tea!)
Whenever she has a huge one in her tonsil (which is at least once a month), she goes off food for a few days due to the rotten taste in her mouth. And she also says it's uncomfortable as she can feel it. This carries on until it eventually falls out. I've tried on one occassion to nudge it out with a cotton bud. It worked, but dd didn't like it, so i'll not be doing it again.
The smaller stones are almost a daily occurence.
The doctor has been frank. The only way to get rid of the tonsil stones is to get rid of the tonsils. He's assured me that the crypts in her tonsils will reduce by the time she's an adult, but they'll always be unaturally large thus she'll always have tonsil stones.
He said he'd refer me to an ENT specialist, but dd is unlikely to be a canditate
for the operation just because she has 'bad breath'. She's never had tonsilitis and only gets a throat infection once a year. The GP said i should consider if
i want to subject my child to the risks of an operation just for 'vanity reasons.'
DD is 5 so i think now is a good age, if ever she was going to get her tonsils out. I'm also worried that as she gets older, children will begin to pick on her for having bad breath. And i'm not exaggerating the smell. When she has a giant tonsil stone, even the doctor agreed it makes her have halitosis.
However, when i voiced my fears, he said that all children get bullied for a variety of reasons at school. If it's not bad breath, it's colour of hair, skin, clothes etc.
He seemed really reluctant to give me the referral tbh. And i've come home feeling like a terrible mum. Am i being unreasonable to want her to have this operation?
I had mine out a few years ago and spent the best part of 3 months off work. Still the best op I've ever had for the relief now. Dd had hers out recently due to apnoea. She was weepy for a little while but bounced back incredibly quickly. She had 2 weeks off school but we were probably being over cautious. Neither of us snore now either which is a relief for the rest of the household!
I opened this thread fully expecting it to be about ear pinning or some such, although in young children I so think that the potential (probable) bullying from that would dint their self esteem so much during formtive years that I would have it done regardless of how 'vain' it appeared. Then I saw that it was about a GPs interuptation of an actual medical condition and though 'hell yeah, do it'. I am very glad to now see that it was a zombie thread and you have found someone who will listen to you and take you more seriously and that the tonsillectomy will be going ahead.
I do love it when a thread is resolved before I even finish reading it fwiw I think some people overlook the impact that tonsil problems can have on your life. I had recurrent tonsillitis as a teen and after being fobbed off 3 times when I was 14 with calpol, seriously, at bloody 14!, and eventually begrudgingly being given antibiotics I learnt coping mechanisms when they got bad again to avoid seeing the patronising GP. The result was that at 15 I got tonsillitis again and masked the symptoms so well that I could mostly carry on with life as normal except for eating. I even went to American football training one morning with a bad case and it was only when my coach mentioned to my mother that I hadn't said a word all morning that she really noticed something was up and connected it to my being off my food, so took me to the out of hours doc who had me sent straight to hospital. By then the infection was so bad that it had spread throughout my body and made me seriously unwell. They said at the time that if I had covered for it for another day or two, it might have been too late to reverse the damage, I could have died of tonsillitis. Since I was a rather vain teenager, the thought of my tombstone reading 'here lies Hoping, died from dodgy tonsils' was enough to mortify me into getting them whipped out. Honestly, who dies from tonisilitus these days? People who have had recurrent problems with them and had those problems minimised to the extent that they hide their symptoms to avoid being judged, that's who.
OP I am so glad that you have agreed to the surgery. I know any surgery has risks and of course as a parent you will always fret about your child, but I truly think that it is the best course of action for your DD and will help save her from a lifetime of bullying and self esteem and confidence problems.
So pleased to hear the update. It sounded horrible for your poor DD. I think your GP was out of order. Hope it all goes well.
Great news. Good decision all round and good luck for the op to your DD.
That's great news
I think you should change Drs too - he's clearly a twat.
I had my tonsils out when I was 7. I have nothing but good memories of it Mum & Dad visiting my the day after, lots of colouring books etc and being allowed crisps and ice cream (I'm not sure that's what the recommend anymore, but it was in the late 70's!)
ds1 had surgery when he was 6. the op took 6 hours
he woke up at 1am after the op in the morning and said 'I'm starving, can I have some toast?' he came out the next day.
the hospital were great.
I can tell you not to worry, but as a parent you will do anyway, but it will be fine, and your dd and you will be ok. sometimes the anticipation is worse than the actual event.
Good news OP.
I'm glad the ENT appointment was so helpful
And thanks for coming back with an update.
Glad to hear there's been such a positive outcome from the ENT appointment.
Afraid that DC going into hospital/having surgery etc apparently doesn't get easier with frequency/age: my parental unit still worries horribly about me & I am a proper grown-up. It's important that as well as taking stuff for DD to the hospital you take stuff to entertain/distract yourself with whilst she's in surgery/recovery.
Hope it all goes well
Haha, not at all, Pacific
I shall be back to update in another three months' time when (hopefully) dd's tonsils and tonsil stones will be gone for good.
And now I've killed the poor fred too
I knew this would happen - old thread gets revived (with v welcome update, thank you ) and everybody responds to the OP .
I'm sorry - every month she has to endure the taste of rotten food in her mouth, plus the bullying over bad breath and he says it would be for vanity's sake when you have to ear bud her mouth every morning??!
Report the bastard! Thank goodness the ENT listening to you. What a relief! I had my tonsils out at your DD's age - bit of a sore throat the next day but ice-cream helped!! And well done you for fighting your DD's corner - it will make a difference to her quality of life
I had my tonsils out at 4 when they were often whipped out in children. Don't remember having lots of sore throats though before. Your poor DD, what she endures sounds awful, and definitely needs to have her Tonsils out.
It is not vanity but a medical health necessity.
sorry I see you are going ahead, well done and good luck!
Definitely, I would go ahead. I don't think that is vanity at all. I teach a little girl who (for reasons her Dr doesn't know) continually has bad breath and other children have commented on it.
My DH had his tonsils out for this before Christmas (at the tender age of 39!) and really should have had it done years and years ago - and is so happy with the result!
I'm really very pleased for you that they are taking them out, but not surprised that is what ENT said for your DD. Don't worry, she'll be fine - just remember to keep her eating and keep on top of her pain killers afterwards, that is the key to recovery.
OMG - I get the occasional tonsile stone and they are horrific! Your poor DD. I don't think this is a vanity issue at all - tonsil stones make you feel horrid, so I would definitely seek the operation!
bless her. just wanted to say I am glad you got the news you wanted from the ENT - sure she will be glad in the long run!
I had mine out at 19, after years of tonsillitis, quinsies and other throat infections.
I was permanently run down before the op; afterwards, my quality of life improved hugely. In my childhood I had repeated chest infections: I've only had one since my tonsillectomy (am now 36).
The severity of these repeated bouts of tonsillitis caused the infections to travel upwards behind my nose, scarring my adenoids, and even travelling into my sinuses. This necessitated two ops later in life, one to remove my adenoids and another to remove scar tissue from the inside of my nose so that my sinuses could drain properly.
All the antibiotics I had to take worsened my IBS, meaning a childhood where I was either feverish and ill, coughing, with a snotty nose / post nasal drip, or on the loo with constipation / diahorrea for a large part of the time. It was miserable.
What causes your daughter's bad breath? Her tonsil stones; more accurately, the bacteria growing on those tonsil stones. If these are allowed to remain she will undoubtedly get infections from them. Also, those bacteria will be the same bacteria that grow on the plaque on your teeth, which has been implicated in an increased risk of heart disease later on in life.
Get them out, and don't take no for an answer.
Oh, I am glad you got the outcome you should have had without a fight or any kind of unpleasantness.
I think you have to change the title of your thread - this is in no way an operation for 'vanity' reasons.
Peeps, stop slagging the NHS, you'll miss it when it's gone - there is not doubt that a situation like this ENT assessment is needed and an operation would be offered as a matter of routine.
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