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To want dd to have an operation for 'vanity' reasons.

(176 Posts)
MsBrown Tue 21-Aug-12 15:54:00

My daughter has cryptic tonsils. This means she suffers terrible from tonsil stones or tonsilloths. They can range from the size of a bit of sweetcorn, to a big wad of chewed gum. And they stink. Really stink. They're basically calcified bacteria, saliva and mucus. (Sorry if you're having your tea!)

Whenever she has a huge one in her tonsil (which is at least once a month), she goes off food for a few days due to the rotten taste in her mouth. And she also says it's uncomfortable as she can feel it. This carries on until it eventually falls out. I've tried on one occassion to nudge it out with a cotton bud. It worked, but dd didn't like it, so i'll not be doing it again.

The smaller stones are almost a daily occurence.

The doctor has been frank. The only way to get rid of the tonsil stones is to get rid of the tonsils. He's assured me that the crypts in her tonsils will reduce by the time she's an adult, but they'll always be unaturally large thus she'll always have tonsil stones.

He said he'd refer me to an ENT specialist, but dd is unlikely to be a canditate
for the operation just because she has 'bad breath'. She's never had tonsilitis and only gets a throat infection once a year. The GP said i should consider if
i want to subject my child to the risks of an operation just for 'vanity reasons.'

DD is 5 so i think now is a good age, if ever she was going to get her tonsils out. I'm also worried that as she gets older, children will begin to pick on her for having bad breath. And i'm not exaggerating the smell. When she has a giant tonsil stone, even the doctor agreed it makes her have halitosis.

However, when i voiced my fears, he said that all children get bullied for a variety of reasons at school. If it's not bad breath, it's colour of hair, skin, clothes etc.

He seemed really reluctant to give me the referral tbh. And i've come home feeling like a terrible mum. Am i being unreasonable to want her to have this operation?

hillyhilly Tue 21-Aug-12 15:55:09

I'd do it

doinmummy Tue 21-Aug-12 15:55:46

Not at all unreasonable, must be miserable for her. I'd want my DD to have it sooner rather than later .

Champneys Tue 21-Aug-12 15:56:05

yes deffo do it. Poor girl.

Nagoo Tue 21-Aug-12 15:56:28

I'd do it too.

firawla Tue 21-Aug-12 15:56:41

it doesn't sound like just for vanity reasons to me - she has a problem, you want to solve it for her and getting tonsils removed seems to be the way to do so?

deliakate Tue 21-Aug-12 15:57:03

It is better to do it now than as an adult.

Ambrosius Tue 21-Aug-12 15:57:17

I'd do it.

lunar1 Tue 21-Aug-12 15:57:57

I would do it.

Mrsjay Tue 21-Aug-12 15:58:20

\Do it poor kid sounds miserable my husband had the same apparently when he was a child and had to get them out It isnt vanity though she is miserable her tonsils are rank by the sound of it, <bleurgh> get them removed

Birdsgottafly Tue 21-Aug-12 15:58:23

It is short sighted of the doctor, as this will affect her as she gets older.

I don't think that it is a vanity reason, as having these changes the way that her mouth works and that has an effect on her appatite and will cause her to be self conscious.

Anything that causes physical changes, is not just vanity.

LadyBeagleEyes Tue 21-Aug-12 15:58:30

I'd do it too.
And I don't agree it's for vanity reasons either, it sounds like a very unpleasant condition that can be cured by a simple operation.
Find another GP.

MadBusLady Tue 21-Aug-12 15:58:41

Is this really "vanity reasons"? Her throat is uncomfortable, her appetite goes? confused Does the doctor not appreciate that there is a little bit more to it than bad breath?

I know there's been a general reaction against whipping tonsils, wisdom teeth etc out for no reason, but blimey. YANBU.

ILoveStripeySocks Tue 21-Aug-12 15:58:50

I'd do it. My 4 yr old DS is also having an op next year for cosmetic reasons (his eyes) and though I have pangs of guilt, I know its what is best in the long run.

SomebodySaveMe Tue 21-Aug-12 15:58:50

I'd do it. I used to get quinsy (abcess on tonsils) and had to have the pus drained. I had my tonsils out and can completely relate to the vile taste she must have in her mouth. It makes you very self conscious especially if you are school age.

Schlock Tue 21-Aug-12 15:58:54

He's only reluctant to give you the referral because she doesn't fulfil the criteria to have a tonsillectomy on the NHS. If you were prepared to pay for the op privately he'll write you a referral letter quite happily I would imagine.

Mrsjay Tue 21-Aug-12 15:59:06

they dont really refer much these days but keep pushing for it ,

FalseStartered Tue 21-Aug-12 15:59:06

if there are no underlying health issues, i'd do it too

quality of life is not the same as vanity - good luck with the referral

MsBrown Tue 21-Aug-12 15:59:07

The gp said it's getting harder nowadays to persuade surgeons to remove tonsils. Apparantly there's stricter criteria to be met, and he feels dd will not meet it because she doesn't suffer from any pain. Bad breath and potential bullying doesn't count according to him.

He suggested i should keep checking her tonsils each morning and try and keep nudging the bigger ones out with an earbud and she'll 'get used to it'.

He made me feel unreasonable and shallow.

RobinSparkles Tue 21-Aug-12 15:59:19

I would do it too. Is it really a vanity reason of it makes her go off her food? I think that they can hurt too.

mysteriouslady Tue 21-Aug-12 15:59:21

It's health not vanity - I'd do it.

takingthestairs Tue 21-Aug-12 15:59:29

I'd do it.

ILoveStripeySocks Tue 21-Aug-12 16:00:02

Oh and the Dr tried to mak eme feel bad about agreeing to DS's surgery! He even put in the notes that I had declined, when I had not (grr)

Mrsjay Tue 21-Aug-12 16:00:03

oh Ms that sounds awful no push for the referral the ENT consultant can decide ,

squoosh Tue 21-Aug-12 16:00:08

I'd do it in a shot. Doesn't sound like vanity to me.

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