To think this is probably not a good place to get married anyway?

[Thistledew]

DP and I are going to get married .

We are looking at venues near where we live, and had identified 6 venues that fit our requirements.

One venue in particular took our fancy, due to the lovely building and the fact that we could use external caterers. I phoned up the venue about a week ago and asked to make an appointment for DP and I to visit to view the building and discuss options. The person I spoke to on the phone seemed strangely reluctant to book us a visit. He first of all wanted to know when we want to get married. I explained that we are hoping to do so in Spring next year, but have no specific date in mind and can be flexible according to the availability of the venue. The guy stated that he wanted to make sure that he had availability for our preferred dates before booking an appointment to view. I suggested a couple of weekends, and he said there was no availability. I then asked him when he did have availability, within a range of three months. He stated that it was not easy for him to look up when they had availability without me giving him a date to check . Eventually, I managed to come up with date when he said he had availability, and he agreed to book us an appointment to come to view the venue - but said that the earliest he could fit us in to do so was more than three weeks hence (every other venue we are interested in has arranged for us to visit the same week).

20 minutes later, he emailed me with the brochure, but stated that he had just realised that someone was viewing the following day, who had expressed an interest in the date I had agreed was suitable. He stated that he was therefore cancelling our viewing appointment. I immediately replied to ask him not to cancel the appointment saying that DP and I "are flexible regarding the date for our wedding. We will be fixing a date based on the availability of our preferred venue, not choosing a venue to suit a specified date". Later the same day he emailed back saying "I do not wish to book any appointments for a site visit until we are sure that we have the date available. I am happy to discuss availability if you provide me with dates (or less specific- such as a two week window) for when you are thinking to hold your wedding". Somehow, this email ended up in my Spam filter, so I did not receive it.

I phoned up again today to say that we had now viewed all the other venues, and were wondering if we could bring forward the viewing appointment, as we want to make a decision as soon as possible. I unfortunately go the same person on the phone again, and he informed me of the email that had ended up in my Spam filter cancelling our original arrangement. We again went through the rigmarole of him asking me to specify exactly when DP and I want to get married. He would not accept that we are basically happy to get married any time next year and kept asking for a specific date. Also the availability of the next viewing appointment is now 4 weeks away!

Yes, I get that they are a busy, popular venue, but then so are the other places we have looked at, which also only have a few days still available in Spring 2013. Everywhere else has welcomed us to view and discuss our preferences.

AIBU to think that this is a truly bizarre way to promote a business, and that based on their attitude so far, this venue may not be the most accommodating, stress-free, welcoming place to hold a wedding, and that we should probably give them a swerve anyway?


PS Sorry for the essay!

[OpheliasWeepingWillow]

Wow. Weird. Does this person have a boss you can speak to or email? He sounds deranged or lazy...

[joanofarchitrave]

YANBU!

Remember that thing in Relationships that people often say - 'when people tell you who they are, believe them?'

Goes three times as much for commercial concerns.

[tamitots]

If they can't be bothered to accommodate your wishes to view I would avoid and cross off the list.

I'm sure you will find a nice venue where the service will be much better, I wouldn't hold up much hope for a venue that can't be nice to you before you have even booked.

[Sossiges]

Exactly what you said in the last bit of your post. Bizarre attitude - give them a swerve.

[Musomathsci]

However nice the venue is, it sounds like a nightmare before you've even managed to look at it. If you are really keen to go ahead, perhaps worth speaking to someone else - this chap's attitude is very obstructive and odd. Doesn't fill you with confidence does it?

[Wowserz129]

I would avoid, alarm bells would be ringing in my head!

[Thistledew]

I am a bit conflicted as to whether to try to go over this guy's head - he could just be one bad representative, and on paper this venue did come out as one of our favourites, but on the other hand if it is at all representative of the attitude of the venue itself, I don't want to risk having a crappy time.

[lovebunny]

if they are being so awkward now, i wouldn't chance them being co-operative about any part of the event... avoid!

[NCForNow]

I wonder if he has a possible celeb wedding booked in? And he's been told to keep a block of dates free....and to be hush hush about it??

[CrispyCod]

I'm intrigued, where is this venue?

[TINKERBELLE33]

I had this at a local stately home which decided to start having weddings when I was planning my wedding. Phoned up to ask for a brochure, was immediately asked for my address, and was then told that my chosen dates were not available - I hadn't given any dates! I was so shocked I just put the phone down. I later phoned back and asked for a brochure. Once again I was asked for my address but this time gave the address of a village 3 miles away from where I lived, where footballers and actors live. I was then asked when I was thinking of getting married and told I had a choice of four weekends!

[Thistledew]

NCF - I doubt it, it's not that posh!

This is the venue CrispyCod.

[holidaysarenice]

I think we should all ring up for a viewing...... :p

[myBOYSareBONKERS]

I would contact his boss. I can't bear bad customer service. He may also be a disgruntled employee trying to do the business harm

[ThreeWheelsGood]

Try once more and ask to speak to someone else. If still obstructive, leave it. YANBU.

[Chubfuddler]

In current economic climate these places should be falling over themselves to attract custom - they're not which hives you a heads up about their likely attitude when if comes to thd big day. Do you want these people's indifference to ruin your wedding? Avoid, avoid, avoid.

[lilbreeze]

Try to speak to someone else at the venue in case it is just one disgruntled employee trying.to sabotage bookings.

However don't book it unless you are certain he won't be involved whatsoever. I would be worried that he might suddenly cancel your booking (or some vital element of it) at a late stage.

[FamiliesShareGerms]

Personally, I'd avoid. Possibly with an email or letter to senior managementvto explain your disappointment at having to cross them off your list

[RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief]

Did you give them any details about the wedding that might have put them off?.......like you're a hells angel, or you're planning a TOWIE theme

Seriously, I'd avoid. But I would email the manager the emails and state that you're disappointed with their response. I mean, the thing about not being able to search availability has to be complete BS.

The only other possible reason I can think of for their attitude is that they're going to be sold, and have been told not to take any new bookings, but that the sale has to be kept quiet, so they cant be blatant about it.

[WildWorld2004]

I agree with Families. I would not book there & i would send a letter/email stating why.

[SoupDragon]

I would definitely contact someone higher up the management chain. If you have been put off having your wedding there, they deserve to know why.

[IfElephantsWoreTrousers]

I think Tinkerbell is closest to the mark - most really nice venues get fully booked (at least for Saturday dates) anyway - and a venue with a location like that is in the catchment area for some very posh events, so he will be wanting to vet potential clients to make sure he only agrees a booking with wealthy people who will buy all the extra bells-and-whistles that increase their profit margin. He doesn't want to deal with you without a date fixed so that he can easily get rid of you if he doesn't think you meet their criteria for the Right Sort of People.

[Idlegirl83]

It does look beautiful :) but I'd be wary of them -they sound unprofessional from what you've said. I wanted a beautiful hotel near us for my wedding but I should have trusted my instincts when viewing (owner didn't even put the electricity on so freezing cold and pitch black!) and after booking a date I chased them for a confirmation which never came as they booked someone else in instead! Claimed it was an admin error. I booked somewhere else and Athen I got a phone call a few weeks before my arranged wedding date asking me to confirm details with them for the day as it was getting very close now!!

[Idlegirl83]

*then not athen :)

[justabigdisco]

I'd ring him and say 'how about January 1st? OK, January 2nd? Next date we're looking at is January 3rd? Well how about January 4th?'
And so on, until he gets the message