AIBU to think this is too much faff for the sake of a family heirloom? (baby's cot)

[honeytea]

My DP's family have a baby/child's bed that our DC's greatgrandma slept in. All the babies in the family have slept in this cot, there are lovely photos of DP asleep in the cot.

The cot has not been used for a decade and has been kept in SIL's outhouse, it is in need of a paint (it's white but the paint has come off in places) and a new (custom) matress. The cot is supposed to be ok till the child is 2-ish but the sides are only about 30cm high so as soon as DC can sit up he will be able to fall out of the bed, The health and safety rules are not as strict in the country where we live so they just think the baby will learn to not fall out of bed unfortunatly he might break his neck whilst he learns not to fall out of bed (I'm British so my health and safety ideas are different to my DP)

I really want a co-sleeper to go right next to our bed to make night feeds easier and so I'm close to the baby, really the family cot would only be used for daytime naps for the 1st 6 months.

We live in a 1 bedroom apartment so the baby will sleep in with us, our living room is huge so there is space for the cot, but do you really need a cot in the living room?

Do you think I would be unreasonable to say we won't use the cot,? we can spend the time and money it would take to make the cot usable to do something else.

[blueglue]

Firewood IMO

Seems ridiculous to get so sentimental about it

Yanbu get what you need and want that suits you.

[BonkeyHasGOLDMollocks]

Yanbu, you need to do what is right and works best for you.

[LilyCocoplatt]

YANBU I wouldn't use it, we had a swinging crib for DD when she was tiny with around 30cm sides and she was moved out of it at 6 months when there was any chance she could start pulling herself up on the sides and possibly fall out, there is the issue of bar width on older cots too, modern ones have to have the bars close enough together to prevent a baby's head getting trapped between them.

[marcopront]

Have any of the last four generations of DP's family fallen out and broken their neck? I am assuming not or you would have mentioned it. Sometimes health and safety takes the place of common sense in the UK.
I am also assuming you are in a mixed race relationship, I would make sure you are careful about respecting traditions.
Take it, keep it somewhere and use it when family are around.

[Chundle]

Keep the heirloom at the inlaws house for use there

[Birdsgottafly]

We have so few serious accidents and deaths of young children in the UK because of all the safety measures and standards, they should not be ignored, a baby/child isn't something that you take a chance with.

[honeytea]

keeping it in their house is a fab idea only it is in the back of our car at the moment, I wonder if we can take it back!

It doesn't have bars, it's got solid wood edges, so I don't worry about his head getting stuck, maybe I could get something soft to go under the cot so if he did fall out it wouldn't be too bad.

It's not a mixed race relationship but mixed cultures for sure, No one has fallen out as far as I know, they have a saying here "every child has the right to a broken arm" meaning a child should not be protected too much, I just worry it might be a broken neck not arm!

My mum told me my DB climbed out of his full size cot (on the lowest setting) when he was 8 months old, he was a monkey child, maybe DS will take after DB and at least the little low sided bed isn't as high as a full sized cot.

[marcopront]

My DD is from a mixed culture (and race) relationship. If I was still with her Dad there I things I would be expected to do as part of his culture which I might have issues with but would go along with for harmony. So that's why I am suggesting at least having it in the house.
What does your DH think?

[honeytea]

DP thinks it will be fine, but he doesn't really know much about babies, I think in his mind DS will go from a 2 month old baby to a walking talking 3 year old over night.

[CaliforniaLeaving]

I don't think I'd use it till the paint was all stripped (lead paint?) and re done with the safe stuff, a new mattress that was a snug fit, then I'd only use it at the in laws or in the living room for naps. Also check the spacing of the bars, if a coke can fits between them, so will your baby's head. Maybe get it fixed up and take a few pictures of baby in it, then use it for toy storage.

[honeytea]

Oh god I hadn't considered lead paint!

[BertieBotts]

Why don't you just have it in the living room for naps then? It's useful to have a place to put them, and you'll be awake so the baby will only really ever be in it when asleep, and they can't roll out if it has 30cm sides.

I would definitely get a co sleeper cot for proper night times, but as a nap place what's the harm? And then everyone's happy.

[Birdsgottafly]

I thought the 'faff' was the stripping, you shouldn't do it as the fumes are dangerous during pregnancy.

[CecilyP]

I really wouldn't compromise your baby's safety for the sake of keeping traditions. You could probabably find a leaflet regarding BS for babies' cots and see if this one complies with it. Though from what you have said, this one probably doesn't or isn't really a cot as we would understand it. And if it doesn't, I would just keep it in the sitting room for the occasional nap or to store your stuff, or you could just not get round to painting it. It seems a bit daft putting a cot on top of a matress in case a baby falls out.

[LadySybildeChocolate]

Put the baby in it once, take a picture and then dismantle it. There's no need for others to know that it's not being used.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Yes, do what ladyS says.

My dad was like this with DB and SIL - he wanted to give the a metal-frame highchair that had got covered in rust, that sort of thing.

[LadySybildeChocolate]

The same principle applies with gifts of clothing that you really hate.

[honeytea]

The photo is a great idea, we could take it with the lights low and just not bother painting the bed.

[Viviennemary]

If you are not happy about using it then don't use it. I think it's as simple as that. There's enough to worry about without giving yourself an extra headache trying to please folk.

[LadySybildeChocolate]

Great thinking, honey