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AIBU?

Should I be annoyed or concerned?

13 replies

Enfyshedd · 03/08/2012 23:19

This week DSS2 (6) has made friends with a little girl (abt 4?) who's just moved in across the road. Little girl seems to have got a fix on DSS2 and calls around for him constantly, as in yesterday she knocked on the back door 4 times in 30 minutes while I was BFing DD in the house on my own as DP had taken DSS2 shopping (gah!).

This evening, the DSSs are at their mother's, and LG came knocking at the front door twice while DP was cooking and I was in the middle of the evening cluster feed (7-11pm - yay...). The first time, about 7.30pm, I got up with DD to answer the door and told her that DSS2 is away until Sunday. The second time, about 7.45pm, DP answered the door - he told LG again that DSS2 wasn't in, but she was carrying some stuff (books, perfume & money) and asked DP if he wanted to buy anything(?). Then, while we were eating at 8.45pm, we heard the door knocker going again! We ignored it that time (hungry), but realised that by the sound of the knocking, it must have been LG again.

Seriously, I know she only lives across the road of our closed street (it's not posh enough to be a cul-de-sac), so there's no traffic, but should I make a point of walking her across the road to her house to drop her off and say something like "Sorry, but DSS2 isn't at home and I thought I'd bring LG home as it's getting late"? Surely 8.45pm is far too late for a 4 y/o to be wandering around the street on her own - surely 7.45pm is!?

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MammaTJ · 03/08/2012 23:22

Well, I think so, but from a previous thread I started, we are in the minority!

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lovebunny · 03/08/2012 23:22

much too late. in fact, she's four, where should she be going at all without her mum, apart from possibly a pre-arranged playdate?

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AgentZigzag · 03/08/2012 23:24

That does sound a bit odd, it's like she's lonely and enjoys your DSSs company.

Could her mum have thought she was at yours all that time, when she kept coming back? And the LG was just hanging around outside between knocking?

Even so, her mum should check she's at your house.

Dropping her off might be a good idea, you'd be able to see what their reaction is.

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OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 03/08/2012 23:25

I'd be concerned, but I'm not sure what you should do about it if it happens again.

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mellen · 03/08/2012 23:28

I would walk her home, then you will be able to see a bit more about her home situation. 4 year olds shouldn't be wondering about unsupervised.

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Enfyshedd · 03/08/2012 23:31

She was in playing with DSS2 in our house on Wednesday, and was constantly going back and forth from DSS2's room and coming downstairs to go back to her house - 5 times in 30 mins?

When she kept knocking on the back door yesterday, I got up the second time to see who it was - she was walking back up the lane with her mum at the time and told them both that DSS2 was out in town with DP, but LG was still back knocking less than 5 minutes later - you have to practically walk past their house to get to ours!

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Enfyshedd · 03/08/2012 23:33

DP was also most bemused by the "Do you want to buy something?" earlier. Don't think he looked around to see if her parents were watching from their door or window.

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AgentZigzag · 03/08/2012 23:58

Do you think the mum knew her DD was back knocking 5 mins later OP?

The wanting to buy something I took to be either a cackhanded way of finding an excuse to come knocking again or a game.

I was going to say were they her books? But would she have perfume and money? Probably not.

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AgentZigzag · 03/08/2012 23:59

Maybe you're just going to have to spell it out to the mum in stronger words than 'DSS isn't here'?

It's not just that the 4 YO shouldn't be wandering about on her own for such a long time, but you shouldn't have to put up with the constant intrusion.

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Xales · 04/08/2012 00:03

I think you should have a word with her parents.

Let them know that you are feeding and that it is really inconvenient and would they please keep an eye on her and stop her doing it. If your DSS is in and wants to go and play he can go out where she can see him or knock for her.

If you haven't met the parents what on earth are they doing letting a 4 year old wander over to the house of strangers and disappear into their house without at least checking them out!

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Enfyshedd · 04/08/2012 16:30

Just got more info out of DP - LG is in fact 5 (is in the year below DSS2 in school), but they haven't been living in the street very long (I think 2 months max - haven't been paying much attention to the neighbours due to DD). Most of the children in the street go to the same school so DP has met pretty much all of the parents, but isn't acquainted with LG's parents yet.

The only time I've ever spoken to the mum was at the start of last week - I went out on the street to walk DD around in her sling early one evening and to tell DSS2 that he had to be in for tea in a few minutes. The mum was on her doorstep and made a comment about LG being the only girl on the street, so I replied that there was another (DD), but she wouldn't be out to play any time soon.

DP, DD & I have just got home after being out since 10am - DSSs are with their mother until tomorrow. Within 30mins of getting in, LG has knocked at the door (seems like she's either been knocking all day or waited to see when we got home Confused). DP & I agreed earlier that if LG calls at the door this evening, then we'll take her back to her house.

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WildWorld2004 · 04/08/2012 19:38

I dont think the fact that shes 4 is a problem. My dd was out playing at 4.

My dd has a friend who constantly calls round at the wrong times. Its either b4 we get up in the morning, when we are going for our showers, when we are eating our tea or when we have visitors.

You just need to be firm with her & if that doesnt work talk to the parents.

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twoistwiceasfun · 04/08/2012 21:13

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