to want a public apology?

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

A little voice says IABU but a louder voice says not. So wdyt?

In january we bought a car. The seller was a "trader" in the loosest sense of the word. Seemed genuine etc but he took our money and effectively did a runner. Police got involved and found this man had stolen cars. So all the property was seized including our car (which wasnt stolen).

The police concluded their investigation and the man ended up in prison after lying in court (during our civil case against him) but we still havent received the car back. The police also have a large sum of our money since May which they seized on our behalf after having trouble with our bank.

Anyway, a new solicitor has uncovered the fact that the police handled this case entirely wrong and were trying to cover THEIR mistake up. We thought the property hadnt been returned due to lack of communication and paperwork problems, but to hear it was a cover up we are to say the least.

There have also been suggestions that an officer had a personal vendetta.

We have already received some compensation from both the police and original seller (well awarded...we havent got it yet) so we really dont want any more even though the solicitor says we should get more.

All we want is a public apology printed in a local paper. But the police are refusing to even apologise privately.

AIBU to refuse to "settle" and take them back to court to get an apology? In my mind we have already gone through six months of hell and a few more weeks really wont make a difference.

[Earlybird]

Yes they are wrong and you are right, but don't waste any more energy on this. Life is too short - move on.

And a word of advice: you'd be wise to purchase your next car from an established and reputable place.

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

We have been trying for over a week to buy a car from a reputable business :o

Its harder than it looks. But after what happened we wont be taking any chances again!!

[Dprince]

Its up to you. I wouldn't bother, personally. Why waste more time going to court again?

[DefenceAgainstTheDarkArts]

OP, I know how you feel.

Some years ago now, my car was broken into and when I reported it to the police, they took the car away with my permission (I was obviously keen to help the police with their enquiries.) However, it was taken to a pound where it cost £100 to get it out and £50 every day to keep it there!

It cost me, including taxi fares, train fares and removing the car, nearly £200 - I was furious but assumed it was a misunderstanding so politely went into my local station and I was spoken to so rudely by the woman on the front desk, I was disgusted.

I wish I'd taken it further now, but at the time I was upset and stressed out by it all and just wanted to forget it.

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

Because the attitude from them today has basically been "take your things and shut up."

Part of me does just want it all over and done but then they have caused so much stress and anxiety. They have treated us like criminals all along. Their attitude has been disgusting.

If they even gave a private written apology that would be something. But they arent even doing that.

Oh I dunno. I probably am BU.

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

Thats awful Defence

[DefenceAgainstTheDarkArts]

I don't think you're U at all. I think in your shoes, I'd just think about whether or not it's worth it - it might well be, it might not be. But you're not BU! :)

Just for balance, when I had to report a crime I witnessed to the police, they simply couldn't have been nicer so I know it's not all of them - but the bad eggs can give a really false impression to the public as most ofus won't have much to do with the police (hopefully!) so just one bad impression can mean someone's view is tarnished.

Good luck, wannabeadomesticgoddess (me too! Won't happen though ;) )

[Earlybird]

I absolutely don't think you are being unreasonable to want or deserve an apology - you have been treated shoddily by all concerned.

But, I think you are unlikely to receive an apology and chasing for one will simply prolong the upset and aggravation. Hence, my advice to chalk it up to a bad life experience and move on.

[WilsonFrickett]

You're not going to get an apology, and if you do it will be one of those terrible corporate 'we apologise for any distress caused to Ms Wannabee. Rest assured, lessons will be learned as part of our continuous cycle of learning and improvement.' It won't make you feel any better.

Have you properly, formally complained though? (I'm guessing you have if you've received compensation but it's not clear in the OP)

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

We have to formally complain after its settled. Dont really understand that tbh.

We did make a formal complaint against the SIO but he then convinced DP to retract it, guaranteeing the property would be returned that week.

Needless to say it wasnt which was then when we started court proceedings for the fifth time.

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

Oh and the compensation was awarded by a judge, not through making a formal complaint.

[WilsonFrickett]

If they think you will complain (and I think you should btw) there's not a chance in hell of an apology because that's seen as an admittance of liability and could prejudice the complaint.

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

I was lead to believe that in court on friday (preliminary hearing?) they did admit liability by saying they would offer a "compensation package" rather than let it go to trial?

But it turns out this package is just the return of the property.

But what you are saying makes sense.

[saintlyjimjams]

I had a nightmare with the police when I recovered a bunch of stolen stuff (mine and my housemates) in a second hand shop. I was so upset - had always been a supporter of the police. Do they have a simple complaints procedure?