Or is it grief clouding their usual self?
BIL has very recently lost his mother. She has been ill for some time and has sadly passed away. He is one of four siblings (has one brother, two sisters) and his sisters have spoken to and planned their mother's funeral without informing him that the discussions / arrangements were being sorted.
They have contacted him and SIL (My DH's sister and her DH) and told him that they have made all of the arrangements and they need him to give them two thousand pounds towards the funeral.
BILs mother, brother and both of his sisters are / were unemployed and their has been a government grant towards the funeral of £1400, however they have been told by the Undertaker that the basic minimum cost for a funeral (cremation) is £4000 and the 2k short they have asked BIL for is the deposit needed.
BIL is employed, though is supporting a wife and four children so money is, of course, not readily avaliable. The Undertaker has informed them that they can have an 'account' of sorts which they can pay off the total sum within one year.
BILs siblings have demanded that he gives them 2k within a week as this is apparently a deposit which is required to book and go ahead with the funeral and they are apparently furious with him that he wasn;t involved with any of the planning which he was totally unaware was happening.
SIL and the sisters have had cross words and she and I were discussing tonight how they have suddenly become so agressive and demanding and while I have total sympathy at the loss of their mother, I think this negativity and anger is overshaddowing her death and tainting this already sad time.
The siblings have said that as BIL is the only one working, he should meet the costs of their mother's funeral himself and as they are are on benefits, their contribution is the governemtn grant given.
They haven't even offered to pay £5....£1....50p a week towards it.
I am so on BIL and SILs behalf and they are stuck not knowing what to do: risk resentment and family rifts or take on debts to cover the costs?
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to wonder why death can bring out the worst in some people?
55 replies
GnocchiNineDoors · 20/07/2012 22:29
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