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(244 Posts)
DancesWithSockPuppets Fri 13-Jul-12 13:27:47

AIBU to suggest that the people behind the Mirena coil change its name to "BASTARD Mirena"; and that GPs are required to use its full name (or "BASTARD" for short) when hard-selling it to their innocent, trusting patients?

For example: "Oh yes, I've never encountered anyone who didn't get on with the BASTARD Mirena. In fact, research has shown that women who opt for the BASTARD are nicer, happier, 93% more likely to win the lottery and can shit cakes."

Finally, AIBU to think that GPs should need a license to hard-sell the BASTARD Mirena, and in order to GET a license they must be fitted with a Mirena themselves for at least a week. Up the arse. Sideways.

GoldenMama Fri 13-Jul-12 13:29:13

Oh dear, not a good experience then Dances?

Lottapianos Fri 13-Jul-12 13:30:20

So sorry it's not working out for you sad How long have you had it in? I would think about having it removed if it's making your life a misery - there are lots of other options available.

It works like a charm for me some people but everyone is different. I think they sell it so hard because it's much cheaper for the NHS than the pill.

CailinDana Fri 13-Jul-12 13:30:23


But only because you made me laugh, I know nothing about the BASTARD Mirena.

I take it you...erm...don't get on well with it? <covers face and ducks>

hurricanewyn Fri 13-Jul-12 13:32:10

Get it taken out - life's too BASTARD short to be suffering over contraceptives

StarlightWithAsteroid Fri 13-Jul-12 13:32:45

Wots up with it? Is it the coil per se, or the hormone?

DunkyWhorey Fri 13-Jul-12 13:32:57

I had my Barstard Mirena out because I thought it was giving me bad moods and turning me into a Barstard, so I had the barstard thing out, and I was still a barstard, so now I am on Barstarding Antidepressants and slightly less of a Barstard than I was previously. I shouldn't have blamed the Barstard Mirena I guess. Poor Barstard. And now I have no contraception so the chance of conceiving another Barstard is much higher, which would be an utter barstard.

MammaTJ Fri 13-Jul-12 13:34:00

I quite agree, the Bastard made me feel as though I was going mad!!!!

Doctors refused to acknowledge that it was the bastard doing it. I had it removed and a nice normal one put in and felt better within a couple of months. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Doingakatereddy Fri 13-Jul-12 13:34:08

Ah the BASTARD Mirena, I know it well.

15 months of mood swings, numbness & feeling it digging into me was an experience. The most amazing thing was my inability to have sex as it jammed my cervix.

EmilieFloge Fri 13-Jul-12 13:36:25

Dunky sorry but absolutely pissing myself grin

Lottapianos Fri 13-Jul-12 13:37:02

DunkeyWhorey grin

EmilieFloge Fri 13-Jul-12 13:37:11

I have never had a coil btw. They looke odd to part of a small engine I found on the road once. In your foof? Not likely.

blibblibs Fri 13-Jul-12 13:37:36

Watching with interest, have been thinking of having mine out but not sure if the bastard is too blame or if I've always been a hairy, overweight, moaning cow

MammaTJ Fri 13-Jul-12 13:37:51

Doingakatereddy now that is the most effective form of contraception!! grin

EmilieFloge Fri 13-Jul-12 13:37:57

or a fish hook.

DancesWithSockPuppets Fri 13-Jul-12 13:41:15

Had my BASTARD out yesterday after 6 weeks feeling like Mrs Hannibal Lecter, and a 3 week long period bonanza on top of 6 months post-partum bleeding (TMI, sorry). GP cheerily told me that the bleeding should tail off "in another few weeks."

DH will have a vasectomy, and after this he's lucky I don't take him down the BASTARD vet to get it.

ShirleyKnot Fri 13-Jul-12 13:42:54

I have LOVED mine. It's been fab

Lottapianos Fri 13-Jul-12 13:43:42

'Had my BASTARD out yesterday after 6 weeks feeling like Mrs Hannibal Lecter'

Dances, how does that feel exactly? grin

Sorry you had a crap time. Hope the bleeding 'tails off' very soon hmm Defo with you on the vasectomy plan!

DancesWithSockPuppets Fri 13-Jul-12 13:52:16

Lottapianos, anyone can enjoy the Mrs Hannibal Lecter experience if they are curious. Just get a BASTARD fitted. (Actually on second thoughts - don't.)

RevoltingPeasant Fri 13-Jul-12 13:56:15

Emilie I reckon you should start an anti-Mirena poster campaign with a picture of an old ignition coil and the strapline 'In your foof? Didn't think so'.

Can someone tell me why GPs are so bloody obsessed with hormonal contraception of all kinds? Almost every GP I've ever had tries to put me on the pill/ Mirena/ some alien Klingon type device. What is up with that - are they on commission from GSK or what??

GoldenMama Fri 13-Jul-12 13:56:30

I've had mine for a year now and, apart from initial extra unexpected pain the 1st week, I don't even know it's there. And only have minor bleeding for 1 day a month.

I hope your feeling more yourself very soon. brew

Lottapianos Fri 13-Jul-12 14:01:29

Dances, I have a BASTARD myself which I'm very happy with. I wasn't taking the pee, your description just made me laugh. Sorry.

dreadingseptember Fri 13-Jul-12 14:02:18

Ah Bastard! GP is giving me the hard sell on the Mirena, not one bad word to say on the info sheets I was given but I think I'll avoid it after reading these side effects. I've just stopped the pill after raging anger and depression and continious bleeding, don't think I want to go through that again. Literally today is my first day in white knickers since April. smile

Mollydoggerson Fri 13-Jul-12 14:04:57

I had one. I didn't turn into a bastard, but did turn into a zombie, a hairy one at that, naice, no wonder it is such an effective contraception.

manicbmc Fri 13-Jul-12 14:05:20

I will never ever have one. Just the idea makes me flinch.

I shall stick with my mini pill that luckily has no side effects for me and has stopped my periods completely. grin

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