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To think my friend is little bit mad?

(29 Posts)
GiserableMitt Fri 06-Jul-12 07:55:20

We're in the Middle East and the temp is in the 40's everyday and she tells her 13yo DD to work on her tan.

I can't decide whether I'm justified in being a little hmm at her encouraging her DD to spend a considerable amount of time in the sun with a very low SPF cream or none at all.

She must KNOW the dangers of too much exposure to the sun without adequate protection.
Am I BU to let it bother me or is she BU for not teaching her kids how to enjoy the sun safely?

savoycabbage Fri 06-Jul-12 07:57:43

Perhaps she wants her and her dd to be taken for twins when her dd is 18.confused

She is being very reckless. Does she talk about it?

crescentmoon Fri 06-Jul-12 08:03:00

lol, it took me a while to get the twins at 18, funny

TiddlyBears Fri 06-Jul-12 08:04:11

I didn't know my mother had relocated to the Middle East, I only saw her yesterday!

I used to be that child.... forced to spend hours in the garden/park/lido, until I turned into tommy tomato ("Never mind darlin', it'll go brown in ah few days time!").

..... However, I put my foot down when she implied my very young son 'could do with a bit of a tan' and that his factor 50 prevented him from 'getting a nice colour'!

SittingBull Fri 06-Jul-12 08:04:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoleSource Fri 06-Jul-12 08:13:38

YANBU but you knew people would agree with you, on the whole anyway.

Slip on a shirt

Slap on a hat

Seek shade

Slide on some sunnies

ivanapoo Fri 06-Jul-12 08:26:28

It's not just the dangers of the sun: exposure to sun & burning as a child increases your risk of skin cancer.

My parents went on France & Spain with me as a kid and despite using (probably not high enough factor) cream I am much more moley than my older sisters who spent most of their hols on rainy uk campsites!

Both my parents and my sister have now had ops or treatment for forms of skin cancer. None of us is what you'd call a massive sun worshipper.

GiserableMitt Fri 06-Jul-12 10:16:13

But in this day and age are people really still that ignorant to the dangers of the sun?

Ivanapoo, that's what concerns me - that she is possibly setting her DD up for skin cancer later in life.

The twins things could be possible smile My friend is mid 40's and has the most beautiful skin still (unless it'll catch up with her suddenly when she's in her 50's or 60's).

She's quite candid and open about their love of the sun. They spend a lot of time with a family of Aussies who, like us, smother themselves in suncream and wear rash vest.

AKMD Fri 06-Jul-12 10:58:01

YANBU, DH moans about me slathering myself and DS in factor 50 and it drives me mad. He's mixed race and it's just never occurred to him that he should wear suncream. Apparently DS 'looks like a ghost' hmm and I 'need a bit of a tan' hmmhmm I just laugh.

curiositykitten Fri 06-Jul-12 11:00:22

A friend of mine is currently on an extended holiday in Spain with her two children (11 and 3) She is bemoaning the fact that it took the eldest three weeks to start on her tan, but happy it's coming along now. hmm

YANBU..she is without doubt a knob!

Theas18 Fri 06-Jul-12 11:01:56

YANBU.

MammaTJ Fri 06-Jul-12 11:04:39

YANBU!!

I live in the UK and I am very well aware of the dangers.

I have ginger children. This years sun cream has a bluish tinge to it, they love that I call them smurfs when they go out now!

squoosh Fri 06-Jul-12 11:22:09

YANBU.

Is she the kind of Mum who always wants her daughter to look 'pretty'?

I do think people in the UK know all about the dangers of excessive sun, some just choose to ignore it as the tan is so revered.

itdidntworkout Fri 06-Jul-12 11:36:58

Disgusting attitude from the mother.

Google a picture of sun damage and show it to the teenager. Tell her this is what she'll look like at 25. Every time you see her, ask her about her moles. Dark patches on the face are hyper pigmentation and she will need laser therapy to remove it.

Tan = sun damage!

GiserableMitt Fri 06-Jul-12 11:42:10

Is she the kind of Mum who always wants her daughter to look 'pretty'?

LOL! Just reminded me that she used to put lemon juice in her DD's hair before she went outside when she was about 8!

squoosh Fri 06-Jul-12 11:55:01

'nuff said.

Buy her a Girls World styling head and tell her to stop putting her daughter's health at risk.

StarryEyedMama Fri 06-Jul-12 11:56:45

My sister does this (to my niece and nephew) even after having skin cancer and she does the same to herself by putting babyoil on instead of sun lotion - most stupid thing ever!

squoosh Fri 06-Jul-12 12:15:04

Your sister's had skin cancer and continues to slather herself in baby oil? shock

Wow! Nothing is going to get through to someone like that, she's clearly weighed it all up and decided the risk of death is worth it.

5Foot5 Fri 06-Jul-12 13:10:53

Quite apart from the dangers of skin cancer and the discomfort of sunburn she is being unreasonable because sunbathing is the most boring activity ever. Surely her DD can find something more nteresting to do.

GiserableMitt Sat 07-Jul-12 05:17:58

And they're both burnt now...

Bertrude Sat 07-Jul-12 05:59:15

You know yanbu really

If the daughter can stay out in this heat long enough to get a tan, I envy her. Not on the tan side of it, but I'm now holed up in my flat and will not be venturing outside until the end of August. It's grim even just walking to my car after work. You'd think after 4 years I'd be used to it.

There also isn't enough awareness over in this neck of the woods about this sort of thing either . I had to convince our Jordanian office manager that he should go to the doctors as a mole on his arm was changning. He said people from his country are darker skinned, therefore he isn't at any risk at all of skin cancer. He's had it removed and his treatment starts next week.

Latara Sat 07-Jul-12 06:48:25

YANBU - i'm naturally quite pale so burn easily; my Mum bought moisturiser for me - Clearasil - from the age of 10 & also encouraged me to use Ponds cream.
Mum was used to getting burnt then tanned in the sun; my younger sister (olive skinned) would only ever get more tanned but Mum would get upset to see me get sunburnt.
Mum read magazines & realised that spf 15 was a good idea for my pale skin; so on warm sunny days i would wear spf 15 sun lotion & facial sun lotion to school or out with friends instead of the Clearasil.
When Mum learnt that even people who tan easily can get skin cancer too then she tried to encourage my sister to wear sun lotion; but my sister never listened & hated moisturiser.
I read fashion magazines all the time as a teenager; in my late teens the emphasis was the ageing effects of the sun; so at 18 i ditched the Clearasil & wore a moisturiser with spf 15 daily. I was working full time so bought the best creams that i could afford.
Now i wear a daily moisturiser with spf 25; & sun lotion of spf 25 or 30. Facial sun lotion has to be spf 30 - 40. I can burn after just 1 hour in hot sun without actual sun lotion.
I'm 35 so do worry about ageing - luckily i have barely any lines / discolouration due to being very careful.
My sister has more lines because she didn't take care of her skin. She's had lots of facials that have helped to reduce sun damage, & now wears good moisturiser so her skin is improving.
Mum has still got good skin with few lines aged 63 despite years of swimming in the sea & sun bathing (in England, never been abroad). This is mainly due to being careful to wear & reapply high factor facial sun lotion, & because she copied me by wearing daily spf15 moisturiser.
But she's had pre-cancerous skin lesions removed from her body through not being as careful with the skin there.

The moral is that it's important to wear high spf sun lotion whatever your skin colour is.
Also please avoid sunbeds - i can't believe how many people still use them. An older friend of my sister's has had a lot of moles removed & biopsied recently due to her sunbed habit.

Jenny70 Sat 07-Jul-12 07:56:24

We're from oz and our kids are the palest in the class! They always wear hat (keeps off the rain, lol) and sunscreen any day the sun deigns to come out.

I'd be talking to your friend - if she was feeding her kid laxatives to make her thin you'd think it abusive, so is sun damage.

Latara Sat 07-Jul-12 08:08:48

Basically - would this friend let her 13 yr old daughter smoke? This is not a lot different. It's very hard to get people to change their ways though.

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