My neighbour is an inconsiderate arse but I don't have a leg to stand on :(

[BupcakesandCunting]

And so I can't knock on his door and moan at him which is riling me up even more...

I live in a terraced house with no off-road parking. Our street is a mix of this type of housing and a few big houses with driveways so parking is tight. The bloke two doors up (end of terrace) had his front garden turned into a driveway so his wife parks her car on there whilst he parks his 4x4 to the left of his house so his wife can easily get on/off the drive without him needing to come out and move the 4x4.

Now, the idiot has bought one of those massive Warrior cars (4x4 with an extra bit on the back) and he has taken to parking outside my house every single day and not moving it once so no-one even gets a fair crack of the whip at getting that space. It also takes up two spaces, pretty much. It just sits there all day. And (melodramatic) it blocks loads of light from my front door/window because it is fecking huge and black.

I don't have any argument to give him though. He's in a legitimate space. All he is guilty of is being inconsiderate. Every time I look of of my window and see this behemoth of a vehicle sat there I can feel my piss boiling.

[PomBearWithAnOFRS]

Let his tyres down every night.

[BupcakesandCunting]

I definitely have not considered this.

[FaceForRadio]

paint a big bright yellow sunshine on his car

[NoGoodNamesLeft]

My dad puts cones out to reserve 'his' space outside the house.

All I can suggest is asking him nicely to move it, because you are doing some imaginary building work and you are worried that it will get scratched or damaged as you take materials in and out of the house. Then park your own car there and be resigned to the fact you can never use it again, but at least you've won the battle of the space.

[FaceForRadio]

obviously I get the prize for most helpful response.

[Treblesallround]

Poor you, but you're right, nothing you can do, could you make a feature of it? flowers on the bonnet, that sort of thing?

[Passmethecrisps]

Hire a skip to add the the story of building work then just leave it there. Forever. Neither of you will get to use the space but you have won he moral victory

[FaceForRadio]

do you have dc? maybe they could play in the garden with a ball?

after the car has been hit a few times by the ball he might move it.

Obviously this would be a plan, your dc would be in on it and when he complains you give them into trouble, but are not able to promise that they won't do it again...

[mayaswell]

YANBU. My MIL had a neighbour with a big ugly van which he parked outside her house every weekend. It really made her cross.
Eventually she went up to him and cowed him into not being so selfish, but retired headmistresses can do that, I guess. Shall I send her over?

[Passmethecrisps]

trebles that is genius. Use the back part as a large, mobile planter! He gets to use the space but you get to admire the lovely flowers.

P.S. why does he need a large car when he appears not to go anywhere?

[FaceForRadio]

A skip! Excelent idea? Has anyone suggested this to Reality?

[LaurieFairyCake]

Obviously nothing you can do - I have exactly the same, lots of vans in our street and one of those warriors too - I just sigh a little inside when I see them directly outside as they do block all the light into the front room.

Thankfully they aren't there every day or every second of the day as the gloom would be really annoying for me after a while.

[WinkyWinkola]

Those Warrior/Animal cars are monstrous. I wonder why someone would feel the need to drive a car named like that.

I feel for you, op. I have a similar problem in that my neighbours have four cars and a van. The van and one car is always parked outside my house.

I swear the neighbours snigger as they see me trying to usher in 3 dcs, a dog, carrying shopping and school bags at 30 weeks pg.

Luckily we are intending to move later this year!

[BupcakesandCunting]

Passmethecrisps not just one large car but two! Two large cars! The fat cunt

Please send your MIL, Maya.

[fruitysummer]

Is there nothing you can do though as it's blocking your light?

I know no one owns the road etc but surely it is causing an obstruction in this instance? Altough not in the normal way of blocking someone in, being on the pavement?

Is there enough space for emergency vehicles to get past?

[Treblesallround]

Or use the back of the car as a skip if it's one of those open ones?

[WinkyWinkola]

I mean usher in the house from five or six houses down the street.

[Passmethecrisps]

Pay some local rapscallions to ride their bikes round and round it while looking suspicious. If you dig deep you could even get some elder siblings to start using it as a hang-out

[ThisTimeNextYearRodney]

Second the skip, you could fill it with water and have a lovely private swimming pool. Or put some carp in and enjoy some fishing

[PropertyNightmare]

He will have to move his car at some point. Be ready when he does with some smashed perspex ready to sprinkle on the road outside your house. It will look like broken glass, no one will park there, Robert is your mother's brother and Bob's your uncle ;-).

If he sweeps it up, do the same again.

[ThisTimeNextYearRodney]

My DH has one of those monstrosities and people do often use it as a skip. Generally very annoying, but we did get a giant tuber (or similar brass instrument) left in it once, which has made a lovely garden ornament

[thisisyesterday]

well.... you could ask him to move it! I mean, he might just turn round and say no, but it's worth a try surely?
point out that you hate to complain, but it blocks your light out and you'd realy appreciate being able to park there as parking is such a pain on the street as you're sure he knows

[BupcakesandCunting]

I just feel like taking the reasonable yet honest approach... "Look, mate. You're being a cunt. Your beast machine is blocking my light and you're space hogging. Shift your wheels."

[Passmethecrisps]

Brilliant trebles seeing some 'builders' flinging broken sinks and bits of unit into the back of his Toyota Pedestraniansquisher would make him shift it sharpish.

To set this one up, head down the pub at about 5:30 and offer a round of drinks to anyone willing to bring alone a bit of old tat.

[Treblesallround]

I think that is a most eloquent (sp) (elocunt?) way of putting it Bupcakes. Tell us how you get on