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to think that gender selection should be legalised in the uk?

(409 Posts)
ChocolateBiscuitCake Fri 22-Jun-12 14:05:04

I have three glorious boys. I would love to have a girl as well.

I really don't understand why PGD for gender selection is illegal in the UK. I completely accept that it should not be funded through the nhs, but can not see why couples can not pay privately.

You are not choosing eye colour etc, simply the gender of your child to balance your family dynamic.

If ivf couples are allowed to pick/choose/freeze embryos, why is PGD illegal?

Aibu to think that it should be legal in this country? I would not be trying to create a 'superior race', just balance our family with a girl - a daughter for me and DH and a sister for my sons.

ripsishere Fri 22-Jun-12 14:06:35

I can sort of see your point but. IMVHO, it would not be too long before people started asking for eye colour, height, ear length to be screened in and out.

PandaWatch Fri 22-Jun-12 14:07:09

Why do you want a daughter? What if she turns out to be a tomboy? What if she's closer to your DH than you? Would you want to send her back?

IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 Fri 22-Jun-12 14:08:03

I don't agree with it, I don't know if I can explain why though. It just doesn't 'sit right' with me. I'm sure someone will come along, say YABU and why and I'll think 'yea what they said'.

PandaWatch Fri 22-Jun-12 14:08:19

Oh and I think comparing people going through IVF because it's the only way they can have a child to wanting to pick the gender of your child is offensive.

fullofregrets Fri 22-Jun-12 14:09:11

We would absolutely gender select if it were legal.
As it is the inconvenience and extra expense of travelling abroad make it logistically impossible.
We have one boy. I never wanted boys. I do not want another boy.

CailinDana Fri 22-Jun-12 14:09:39

Because it's a slippery slope. Once gender selection is allowed, what's next?

An Indian friend of mine told me that hospitals are reluctant to tell Asian couples the sex of their baby at scans due to the danger of a girl being aborted. If such a culture exists, where girls are not wanted at all then the danger is that girls will be selected out completely pre-conception which will only enforce the idea that they're undesirable.

I also think that the human race is getting far too obsessed with control. Having a baby is one situation where to a large extent you have to accept what happens and I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Children with disabilities are already selected out of society and that's going far enough IMO without extending it to other "undesirable" characteristics.

EdithWeston Fri 22-Jun-12 14:09:48

I support it only when there is a strong family history of a serious sex-linked condition.

Cassettetapeandpencil Fri 22-Jun-12 14:10:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CailinDana Fri 22-Jun-12 14:11:04

I'm hoping your post isn't genuine, fullofregrets but if it is I feel very sorry for your poor son. Why have a child if you knew that you had a 50/50 chance of it being unwanted?

TheSpokenNerd Fri 22-Jun-12 14:11:31

YABU because you're fiddlling with nature in a human related fashion. We'd get an imbalance according to social fashions. If we took a poll of 500 exectant parents, I bet that the majority of first timers would want a girl.

If there are genetic diseases based on sex then in those cases maybe the law could be relaxed.

PandaWatch Fri 22-Jun-12 14:12:06

Absolutely agree with you on that Edith.

I think the main problem is that people want to gender select on the basis of gender stereotypes. The emotional and pyschological repercussions of gender selecting a child and then the child not conforming to a gender ideal have the potential to be enormously damaging.

Cassettetapeandpencil Fri 22-Jun-12 14:12:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AdventuresWithVoles Fri 22-Jun-12 14:12:29

I am yanbu camp, but expect not many of us to appear on this thread.
Robert Winston has said a lot about this topic, too (supportive of you).

ChocolateBiscuitCake Fri 22-Jun-12 14:13:00

Of course I wouldn't want to send a daughter back if they were a tomboy (and I assume with three brothers that they probably would be!). I kind of feel that with only one life, as such, that it would be lovely to bring up both genders. I wouldn't want to have a fourth boy and ever feel a sense of disappointment at having had them, so I am too nervous to try to fall pregnant naturally. If PGD was legal I would have it without a second thought.

WorraLiberty Fri 22-Jun-12 14:13:35

I don't know if I think it's a good idea or not.

I suppose it's one way to combat the huge number of gender selective abortions, particularly within the Indian/Asian communities.

I couldn't tell you how many Indian families I know...probably 100s and yet not one single one of them has a DD as an eldest child.

CailinDana Fri 22-Jun-12 14:13:41

Could someone explain the desire to have one gender over another to me? Because I don't get it. I mean, regardless of whether it's a boy or a girl you have no idea what it'll be like, so why is the gender important?

strawberrypenguin Fri 22-Jun-12 14:14:18

Because just looking at threads on here there are so many people complaining that they are 'disappointed' they are having a boy, they only ever wanted girls blb bla bla.

So what if everyone gender selected for a girl, the population as a whole would suffer massively. Gender selection is in my opinion wrong and a bit creepy unless for health reasons (some genetic conditions only effect one gender)

fullofregrets Fri 22-Jun-12 14:14:21

Because I thought it would be ok because I would love him anyway.
And I do desperately.

But I don't want another one. In fact I want a boy even less now. I have my lovely son, no other boy would compare.

Cockwomble Fri 22-Jun-12 14:14:27

Funny would cut down on those families having child after child to get the right gender as it were. But where would it end?

Katz Fri 22-Jun-12 14:14:39

YABU - I don't believe that anyone has the right to choose the sex of their child. IVF is not without risks and it a medically quite intrusive porcess. The demands on IVF clinics would go up because people who could conceive naturally would be using a system designed to help those who can't not those who don't want another boy. Equally I can imagine what it must be like to be a child in a family where the parents wanted a child of the opposite sex to you.

CailinDana Fri 22-Jun-12 14:15:18

Worra - the Indian woman who told me about not being allowed to know the gender at the scan was ok with it, and actually agreed with it (which made me wonder what her husband's stance on it was) and her eldest is a girl.

CailinDana Fri 22-Jun-12 14:16:10

This is a genuine question fullofregrets - what makes you want a girl and not a boy?

cakeandcava Fri 22-Jun-12 14:16:14

People going through PGD IVF are doing it so they can remove serious genetic conditions that are incompatible with life, or causes long term pain and illness.

The 'wrong' gender is not an illness -YABU. Going down that route could lead to serious social issues -nature has evolved us into a 50:50 split for a reason.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid Fri 22-Jun-12 14:16:23

If I could have picked the gender of my child I would have. I wanted a son but have a dd.

When she was born she wasn't breathing and needed to be resuscitated, I love her to bits and the only thing that matters is that she is fit and well. Am ttc no 2 now and would prefer a boy but right now I would be happy just to get pregnant.

I have wondered if there would be some way to allow gender selection without there being an issue of too many parents selecting boys or girls.

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