To get rid of my fucking horrible cat? (long - sorry)

[ilovedarthmaul]

She is a house cat that goes in the garden sometimes and we got her from the cats protection league 8 years ago. She has NEVER wanted fuss/strokes etc - she wont come near anyone (well she does a bit with me but i suspect thats only cos i feed her!) At first we thought it was because she is settling in but she has never got any better. Over the last 8 years she has systematically DESTROYED our house.

She pisses EVERYWHERE - she wont go on a litter tray at all (we have tried everything we can think of) - she scratches the walls/lead off the doors - even when the doors are fucking open! and rips the carpet to bits. Ive come in today from work and she has pissed on the settee - ive washed the cushion covers but its sunk into the hard/foam bottom bits - im soooo fucking mad - i cant afford new cushions or settee but dont know what i can do to get it out. If there are DC teddies/soft toys on the floor she pisses on those so they have to be thrown away - if i have folded washing up and put it on the arm of the chair/bottom of the stairs she will piss on that too. She climbed onto our dining table the other day & pissed on that as well. - Where we eat!!!!!

i should point out that we have had her checked by the vets and she hasnt got anything wrong with her (cystitus/water infection etc) and her litter tray is ALWAYS clean. I try & put her out in the garden as much as possible but she was attacked by next doors dog last year so i daren't leaver her out whilst im at work.

i feel like crying - im terrified that our house STINKS and we are used to it.

Im not an animal hater - so please dont flame me - i just get no joy out of her & a shit-load of stress and work!

I dont even know if anyone will take an incontinent, grumpy, horrible cat anyway but if they would would i be being unreasonable?

thanks for listening - feel slightly better after my rant!

am off to pick DC up now & think about how i can get the smell of cat-piss out of my sofa!

Darth x

[TheresaMayHaveaBiscuit]

Just a thought, but could you build her a run in the garden to use when you are out? She'd be safe from the neighbour's dog, and your house would stay pee-free.

No idea about how to get rid of the smell, sorry :(

[Spice17]

I would say you should stick with her (easy to say from my position though) She may be a right little madame/cowbag but that's the hand you've been dealt and if you take her back to Cats Protection league or elsewhere she may well see out the rest of her days with no family and that would be really sad:(

[MummySunshine]

Oh god I can really sympathise with you :( I have a cat that has taken to pissing anywhere other than outside/her tray and it really is soul destroying and depressing.

I'd say it sounds like you've tried everything possible so YANBU to look for alternative housing for her. It may be that she's better suited to a family with no children. It will be hard to find someone no doubt (as you'll want to be honest about why you're giving her up) so perhaps look into local cat sanctuaries?

It's a heartbreaking thing to have to do, but if you're getting no joy out of her, and she doesn't seem to be fond of you guys either, it could be for the best. I tried with mine but couldn't go through with it, and she is now (sometimes) going in her tray.

Best of luck

[suburbandweller]

Have you thought that your cat might be stressed too? She certainly doesn't sound like a happy animal. Have you tried a feliway diffuser? It sounds as though you might all be better off if she is rehomed, including her.

[BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack]

YANBU - and I am a cat lover.

Sounds like you have tried loads and it also sounds like she is unhappy (or just plain bloody awkward)....cat wee is a nightmare to get rid of. When my two cats got old they started pissing all over my lounge rug and it took years for the smell to go! DH was all for getting rid of them but as we had had them for 16 years being brilliant girls and no bother at all I put my foot down.

Does she lack attention although from what you say she doesnt want it. How are your DC with her, do they pull her about or anything. Have you asked the vet for advise?

[marygoround]

I would get rid. You've tried your best and she sounds like she's making you miserable. Take her back to CP (disclaimer - I am a dog person).

[boxyfoxy]

Yanbu, Sounds horrible, don't know how you put up with it, cat would have been gone long ago in my house. Don't feel bad about it, living with this situation is having a detrimental effect on you. There is clearly something not quite right with the animal, otherwise it wouldn't be pissing everywhere. Let those animal lovers who flame you for wanting rid of it, have the cat.

[Mrsjay]

you can get a plug in thing to relieve stress in cats , our cat wasnt very friendly either and wouldnt want petted unless it was when she wanted or when she got older,
keep her in 1 place in the house so she feels secure close other doors don't let her have the house as territory failing that im not sure what you can do take her to cats protection sounds stressful

[BumpingFuglies]

Sounds like you need to find her a new home. If she is not happy, it would be kinder to her. Cat's Protection are very good with finding homes to suit.

[OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos]

YANBU, get rid. You have behaved like a saint for putting up with it for as long as you have.

Your house probably does smell, sorry. when I moved into the house I live in now it stank of cat wee, and it didn't go until all the carpets were replaced.

Don't feel bad about her living in a rescue, it doesn't sound like she's bothered about having human interaction anyway.

[bitofcheese]

i would get rid too, i don't agree with the more hardcore cat owners who think she should stick with through thick and thin. if you are doing your best and getting nothing back other than agrivation then give up the ghost, it is at the end of the day only a bloody cat. fwiw we rescued a cat last november, she can be vicious sometimes but the way i feel i wouldn't give her up BUT if she changed to a permanent evil phase i would, put yourself first. the cat may be happier in a home with ie no children, perhaps some old lady?

[Polyethyl]

I adore cats, but there is no point in living with one which brings you no happiness. You've put up with her for 8 years already, which is far more than most people would put up with a constantly pissing, unaffectionate cat. Feel free to make yourself happy. Get rid of her. Just because you rescued her doesn't mean you have a duty to keep her, after 8 years you've already done any duty you might have owed.

[klaxon]

I'm with the get rid of her too. Some cats are not suitable for living in houses and should be farm cats IME.

[Anniegetyourgun]

Gosh, you've done me a favour here: you've made me appreciate Large Evil Cat. He has plenty of annoying habits (massacring birds, terrorising Small Cute Cat, leaving massive yucky hairballs in the middle of the lounge, releasing live mice under the furniture, sitting on computer keyboards and smacking you if you object) but he's very clean, hasn't shredded the furniture since we bought him a decent scratching post and does show a certain amount of affection, not just at mealtimes. He's practically a cat saint on that basis I suppose.

[MarySA]

I really sympathise with you. We've got a cat that gets on my nerves quite a bit these days. I don't think you should have to put up with that level of wreckage to your house. But I would as somebody else suggested, not leave it in the house while you weren't there and build some sort of cat run in the garden. But really your family must come first and I'd certainly think about re-homing.

[CheeseandPickledOnion]

Feliway diffuser.

Also, have you tried different types of cat litter? Some cats will not use certain types of cat litter?

[sereneswan]

She has NEVER wanted fuss/strokes etc - she wont come near anyone

They're not toys! And if you only want a lap cat then you should have made sure you got a friendly confident cat. This cat needs someone who will understand and accept her shyness/independence, not blame her because she's not friendly.

You also don't say what you have done to try and solve the inappropriate behaviour issues. So I'm going to assume YABU.

Having said that, YANBU to give her away. She needs a different owner, and you need a different cat (or no cat). I would not usually advocate giving away a cat (I think it's selfish and cruel) but this case I think rehoming is the best thing for her.

Where are you? If you're anywhere near Croydon please consider Croydon Animal Samaritans. We got out two from them and they're amazing people who will find her the right home.

[SucksToBeMe]

Yanbu op. you sound like you have tried really hard. She might be happier somewhere else.

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

We had one like this, final straw being when he pissed and shat in a box of the kids newborn photos, cards, etc when I took it down from the wardrobe because we were having electrical work done. I now have barely any photos of the children a small babies, in fact I have none of dd.

Anyways, cat was chucked out the door with a boot up the arse rehomed to a farmer friend where he now lives his days in blissful solitary feeding off mice and keeping he farm dogs in check. I only wish I'd done it sooner tbh.

[Changethatbulb]

YANBU.

I had a cat that did this. I tried EVERYTHING! It drove me insane and I put up with it for years. Sometimes there is nothing you can do. My cat pissed on anything and everything, even though I got him as a kitten, at the right time (i.e. not seperated from the mother too soon), had a nice home, plenty of attention, clean litter tray, neutured, etc.

He would piss on my bed, on my clothing, against the settee, on my feet (I kid you not). He shit in my bath (not while I was in though).

I have vowed never to have a pet again. Ever.

[CeliaFate]

Can you buy a cheap garden shed and fit a cat flap to the door? I second the Feliway diffuser too.
I totally sympathise. When I had a new born dd, my 2 cats used to pee all the time everywhere. I'd get up every day to the smell of it. If I could have found homes for them, I would have got rid of them. It contributed to an horrendous period of my life that I'd rather forget.
We had to get rid of sofas, suitcases, beds, bags that they'd peed on.
It was grim.
What worked for us was getting rid of the cat flap (other cats were getting in) and putting them out when we went out and in when we were in.

[textpest]

i can't comment on the getting rid of situation but the getting rid of pee thing - Pets at home sell this www.petsathome.com/shop/pet-stain-and-odour-spray-500ml-by-ridovit-34779 which we is quite good at getting rid of dog smells.

[homeaway]

hire a steam cleaner to clean the sofa. You need to get rid of the smell of wee otherwise she will carry on weeing in the same place. Bicarbonate of soda might help ? See if you can take the cushion covers off to wash them.