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To slightly envy single parents

(231 Posts)
Nobhead Thu 07-Jun-12 20:42:37

I'm not saying that being a single parent must be a walk in the park, I'm sure it's very difficult in many ways (financially, no "break" etc). My DH has been working away since Tuesday so it's just been me and DS but actually it's been quite nice, easier almost. I have been ready for work earlier in the mornings, DS has gone to bed quicker without DH getting him all giddy before bedtime, I have eaten what I want for tea when I want to, watched what I want on TV, been on MN at night. I haven't had to listen to him moan or distract me in the mornings with the "nobhead where is my football kit, keys, wallet, phone?" or spending all night on twitter and showing me every single thing he or anyone else tweets or retweets.
It's only been for 3 nights and I'm sure the novelty would wear off after a while but I have really enjoyed it. DH asked me on Monday night if I would miss him and I said "yes of course" but I must have had a look on my face that said otherwise because he said "no you won't, you can't wait until I go look at your face" sad I felt really awful but I was secretly looking forward to it. God I'm a bad person and I probably am being totally U.

MrsCampbellBlack Thu 07-Jun-12 20:44:16


Seriously a few days here and there is in no way comparable and pretty insulting realy.

Unless you've got real problems in your marriage that is

lalaland3008 Thu 07-Jun-12 20:45:02

There are good and bad points to both. There are 'nice bits' to being a single parent.

Don't knock a loving supportive relationship though.

LucieMay Thu 07-Jun-12 20:45:23

YABU. Being a single parent is largely a big pile of poo (minus the love from my lovely DS of course).

SPsFanjoHarboursDeadCats Thu 07-Jun-12 20:45:26

I'm a single parent but I know what you mean. It's nice to just do what you want for a change. grin

Novelty will wear off though after a few days. But tbh I really love the fact I don't have to share a bed!

ImperialBlether Thu 07-Jun-12 20:45:28

Well the thing is, if the alternative is living with a knob, then yes, being a single parent is great. If the alternative is living with a nice, cheerful, helpful, kind man, then obviously that would be my choice.

marathonrunner Thu 07-Jun-12 20:45:33

You're only enjoying it because it's a novelty believe me. All the times I read about married women going on about how lovely it is when their husbands are away and they have the bed to themselves. Well I can assure you it's not that great when it's every single night sad

RipMacWinkle Thu 07-Jun-12 20:45:48

I completely agree with mrs c-b

No comparison imo

Meglet Thu 07-Jun-12 20:46:02

I can assure you the novely wears off! I loved it after XP was kicked out, at least until my maternity leave ended and then I had to work and deal with small people on my own. 3yrs on I am worn out and very ratty!

Mind you, your DH does sound like he might be a bit annoying if he's on his computer all the time.

RabbitsMakeBrownEggs Thu 07-Jun-12 20:46:17

There are pros and cons to everything. I desperately just want a break after four years of a difficult child and no real time to myself, so that probably flavours my opinion of being a single mother right now. It's also terribly difficult to console my daughter who doesn't understand why her father wants nothing to do with her.

I do like getting the bed to myself though. And not being told off for being lazy if I do have a day off while the children are at school.

lalaland3008 Thu 07-Jun-12 20:46:37

And I agree with MrsCampbell unless you've experienced being a single parent you cannot fully understand. Having a few days break from you husband is not at all comparable. But I don't think the op intended it to sound that way.

Kurlywurly Thu 07-Jun-12 20:46:49

Be careful what you wish for OP.

supernannyisace Thu 07-Jun-12 20:47:30

As a former single parent - I can agree with some of it. However, it isn't all roses - total responsibility for you and DC, financial responsibility, never being allowed to be ill....

I did quite enjoy it though at the time - as my DS spent a lot of time with XP giving me shed loads of free time.

Maybe you and DH should arrange some separate time with /without DCS - short breaks here and there. I don't see how couples can spend every day and night together anyway. DH is away for two days and I am loving itsmile But I do know that he will return tomorrow.

scubastevie Thu 07-Jun-12 20:48:13

YABU. I miss my hubby if I'm apart for half an hour grin <newlywed>

sensuallettuce Thu 07-Jun-12 20:48:26

It's shit - and vvvvvv lonely.

TheSecondComing Thu 07-Jun-12 20:49:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

D0G Thu 07-Jun-12 20:49:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsHelsBels74 Thu 07-Jun-12 20:50:11

My friend's husband left her last year. Now he has their son every other weekend & part of me thinks 'oh how lovely she gets regular breaks with the potential for lie-ins'

Then I think about all the crap she has to deal with, with little or no support & I remind myself not to be so bloody ridiculous!

Alameda Thu 07-Jun-12 20:50:26

I certainly wouldn't swap with any of my married friends (well I am married but blissfully separated for about 15 years) even though some of their husbands seem quite nice. Apart from sex and sharing the bills I don't quite get the point?

BelleDameSansMerci Thu 07-Jun-12 20:50:43

Actually, I do get what you mean. There are some really great things about being the only/primary carer.

Sadly, though, it can be terribly lonely and very, very tiring. I think it's gets easier as the child(ren) get(s) older. At least that's been my experience thus far.

Enjoy your brief fling with single parenting!

difficultpickle Thu 07-Jun-12 20:50:44

Go off and do it for 8 years (and even more for some of us on here) and come back and tell us how much fun it is.

You would have been better off starting a post about how much fun you've had with your dh away. Trying to compare yourself to a single parent is a big fail and really rather silly.

MrsCampbellBlack Thu 07-Jun-12 20:50:56

I didn't mean to be unkind but I have a friend who often refers to herself as a single parent as her DH works long hours and it does annoy me. I'm not a single parent but grew up in a single parent house and know how hard it was for my mum both emotionally and financially.

hatesponge Thu 07-Jun-12 20:51:03

Tell you what - swap with me. You take my life, having no financial support from Ex, no safety net if I can't work or pay the mortgage. 2 DC who rely on me 100% because their father is a feckless twat, his family hate me and I have no family of my own. Have no-one to share proud moments, DC's achievements, funny things they say and do. Evenings and weekends spent entirely alone when DC are with their dad and your friends are busy. Going to parties, weddings, celebrations on your own every single time.

Still feeling envious? Thought not hmm

Squeegle Thu 07-Jun-12 20:51:57

Well I am on my own after 10 years of a difficult, angry, often drunk DP , and to be honest it is miles better! But I guess that is not the best advert for the joys of coupledom.

littleducks Thu 07-Jun-12 20:52:21

I felt like this when all my neighbours were single mums. Their kids would all go to stay with their dads every other weekend, and they got childcare time. Mine were preschoolers and I was secretly envious.

Then we moved, dh works more family friendly hours (and tbh is far better at patenting now we are passed the babystage) One is at school and the other nursery and I'm studying so get adult conversations.

I think being a bit envious just shows that you going through a shitty stage. I'm away on my own with kids atm, wish I had dh for back up.

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