To be relieved that someone else is obviously as slatternly as I am (knicker related)(38 Posts)
You know when you rush out of the house wearing yesterday's jeans and then wonder if you've put them on with yesterday's knickers inside because there's a suspicious bump which might be slipping its way down one leg?
No? Obviously not as slatternly as me, then but if it's 'yes' read on...
We were at a big event with dd at the weekend. We were going in and out of a hall where the event was held throughout the day. and my heart sank when I saw knickers in the middle of the floor which looked very like one of my best pairs. Earlier on, I'd felt that suspicious bump in the leg which I'd ignored.
Anyway, on spotting the knickers-which-might-have-been-mine, I had to decide, and quick, whether to:
a) surreptitously pick them up
b) kick them to one side and maybe pick them up later
c) ignore them
I did c), and then confessed to dd and dh later that evening (who'd walked out after me and seen them, as would everyone who'd walked past) that I thought they were mine.
Dd helpfully pointed out I'd probably been caught on CCTV with the aforesaid undergarments dropping out around my foot.
Anyway, I looked in my sports bag this evening, and the knickers were there! So, someone else is as slatternly as I am, and I'm delighted. Also, I didn't stoop to pick up another minger's knickers.
reminds me of my MIL who is 68.. but still a sprightly little thing... we took her shopping one saturday and she rushed out of the house after changing trousers due to some reason which necessitated a very quick change.. half way round the supermarket her tights were trailing out of one trouser leg - she quickly scooped them up and shoved them in her bag..
on arriving back home, we were walking down the drive with the shopping when my husband loudly shouted "mother, why are your drawers on the drive?"
she went beetroot, and has never looked the postman, paperboy or next door neighbour, (who had all called to drop things off while we were out) in the eye again!
Lol I went on a family picnic once with parents, kids, inlaws, the lot.
I couldn't find a blanket big enough so I brought a duvet cover.
As we all sat down on the grass to eat, my DS1 wondered what the bumpy bit was in the middle...he then produced 2 pairs of knickers, a bra and a pair of shorts
lmao..... never happened to me, yet ;)
I was very pleased to read this post, and chortled. I can reassure you though; so slatternly was I that I simply didn't take them off, thereby obviating the potential escape problem. I now congratulate myself every single day because I have clean pants on, step one on my How To Be A Grown Up Human plan has been conquered. 'Clean pants, winning!' is my mantra.
am know the girl who, at the school disco, looked down after her best mate prodded her and saw a sanitary towel peeking coyly at the ankle of her brand new highly visible flourescent fishnet 1980s triumph tights
I couldn't find a blanket big enough so I brought a duvet cover. As we all sat down on the grass to eat, my DS1 wondered what the bumpy bit was in the middle...he then produced 2 pairs of knickers, a bra and a pair of shorts
My Mum, lovely lady that she is, helps me out by washing my bedding and towels in the winter (I have limited space for an airer, and no other way of drying them, she has a tumble drier) Once, I went round for dinner, and bedding was clean and waiting to come home. Step-Dad gets in from work, and says he has something for me. It was only the battery compartment cover for my ahem toy And yes, it says Anne Summers on
My DH did a fine art degree as a mature student a few years ago. He was preparing his portfolio for his application interview and the only space big enough to lay out his A1 portfolio without the cats trampling on it was our bed.
Halfway through the interview DH turned a page of his portfolio and out fell a pair of my knickers...which he'd managed to gather up with a piece of his artwork.
DD dances on a SAturday morning, I would rather be in bed snuggling DH and watching Saturday kitchen.
Consequently I tend to leave getting dressed and leaving the house to the last possible second.
This of course means I have had to grab yesterday's knickers from the bottom of my trouser leg in the middle of the high street.
Last Summer I was standing behind a woman in the school playground, who was wearing big baggy shorts.
I thought she had a bandage/gauze taped to the back/inside of her thigh and you could see blood on it.
Then I realised it was her sanitary towel
It was one of those awful moments when you don't want to say anything (I didn't know her) cos you know she's going to die of embarrassment, but you absolutely have to cos you can't let the poor cow walk around like that.
Anyway, I said in a low whisper "Excuse me but your sanitary towel appears to have escaped" and pointed downwards.
She was horrified and said it wasn't even hers!?!? She'd just got out of a mate's car and can only imagine it was somehow stuck to her seat
Worra...EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. And boak.
Mr Palooza works in event management and has to work some really high class, A list events.
One evening he was walking down the plush carpeted, beautifully decorated corridor of a very prestigious venue in central London which may or may not have been a royal residence, pushing a heavy trolley. He had to put all of his effort into pushing it, with most of the pushing coming from his legs. He took the trolley to its destination then went back down the same fancy corridor.
A few metres along he noticed a pair of
very slutty, red satin and lace ladies undercrackers on the floor...
They were mine
They had fallen out of his trouser leg.
LUCKILY they were clean and must have got caught in his trouser leg in the tumble dryer.
We are both ironing slatterns, so he had put the trousers on straight from the dryer. Well, that's his story and he's sticking to it...
He spent the rest of his shift alternating between having a boner and cringing at the thought of my knickers dropping out of his trousers when someone else was watching.
He did giraffes. Not sure if that was because of or despite my knickers making an impromptu appearance.
Same thing happened to my friend when we were 14, walking down the street and out falls a pair of knickers. I allways take pants out at night now to make sure it never happens to me (14 years on)
i feel your pain. similar thing happens to me with socks
all the time on occasion...
This thread has made me pmsl-I'll add mine, Was wandering round Blockbusters choosing our Saturday night film (so store packed) when I noticed a sock on the floor, I thought ooooh hubby has a sock just like that!! I then noticed this bloke smirking at me & realised with horror that it was my hubbys I'd picked up my top off the clean washing pile & the offending sock must have been stuck to it-anyway I just left it there of course but was amazed at the amount of my friends this had happened to with various bits of undies!! Still makes me laugh until I cry thinking back on it now & it happened about 6 years ago
I have a bad cough at the moment and this thread has nearly finished me off I've been laughing so hard!
I was told a story by one of my australian friends. Her friend, who works in real estate, had a meeting with various contractors, builders, plumbers etc. She'd woken late, dressed quickly and just got there in time. So they're all outside, on the plot they're going to build on, having their meeting, and she can feel something creeping down her leg. She freaks out thinking it's a spider or similar, grabs the arm of the man next to her and tells him there's a big spider crawling down her leg. One of them gets ready with a piece of pipe, and they wait for the spider to make it's descent. It hits the floor, she leaps out of the way and this guy clobbers it. She then realises it was the slutty black thong she'd been wearing the evening before!
slutty black thong
Promiscuous undergarments?! Whatever next
The only thing I've done is had a sock in a cardi arm which I didn't notice for most of the day. It's a tight fitting cardi too, in my defence I was ill.
i once pulled my sons coat out of the tumble dryer and gave it to him to wear just as we were about to leave the house for the walk to school
Once we were in the playground my DD asked DS what was on his coat..... it was a pair of my nice, lacy undies that had stuck to the velcro fastening on his coat
When I was about 17 my friend had a dinner party at her house (we thought we were incredibly sophisticated!). Her dad was greeting people at the door and as I arrived I handed him a bottle of wine from my bag of stuff that I had brought to stay over for the night. Unfortunately, somehow my knickers (clean thank god!) had wrapped themselves around the neck of the bottle, and I only realised a few seconds too late, when he was stood holding the bottle open mouthed! It was quite possibly the most embarrassing moment of my life! This is the same dad that I once accidentally tried to get in bed with when we arrived back to my mate's house very drunk.
Apparently he was telling the story to anyone who would listen years later!
Mine happened to a colleague of mine who was "in TV" earlier in her career. It was back in the day when you got those plastic bubbles to put your washing powder right into the centre of your wash.
She had a glamorous top that was of the wash, shake and wear variety that she loved to wear for fancy minor show biz events.
In a hurry one evening she glammed up, grabbed the aforementioned top, pulled it on and rushed out the door.
It wasn't until she was at the event that a fellow lovey hugged her and grabbed the odd hump sticking out of her shoulder. You guessed it! The washing powder bubble was stuck inside her top and bulging out the back of her shoulder.
Luckily she has a great sense of humour and laughed it off
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