about MIL talking to teacher without asking me/DH?

[ChocolateBiscuitCake]

MIL and I don't have a brilliant relationship so this latest incident may have clouded my judgement and I would be grateful for your thoughts before I talk to DH.

She is a very obsessive doting grandmother who devotes a huge amount of time to her grandchildren (our three are her only three IYSWIM). I find it quite overwhelming and it is the main reason that we struggle to get on. She likes to offer her opinion alot, when it is not asked for, especially on parenting matters e.g. where we send children to school, what they should eat, type of milk they drink, when they should move to beds etc.

However, in her defense she is always really willing to help out with the kids and will always bend over backwards to be available.

DH and I are going away for 3 nights (we are taking newborn as I think it unfair to ask her to be up in the night!). She (with FIL) are looking after our 3.5 year old and 2 year old.

They went to DS's nursery for grandparents morning last week. I have collected DS today from nursery and the teacher has asked if we are going away (yes) and said that MIL has asked permission to take DS out of nursery for the day.

AIBU to be really cross?

I feel it is up to us as parents to make that call with the nursery. I have no issue with them doing something with the kids but surely it is not her place to approach teacher before me or on my behalf?

[LoopyLoopsTootTootToots]

No, YANBU, she should have asked you not nursery.

[WorraLiberty]

You're right, it wasn't down to her to mention it to the Nursery.

On the other hand, if she's as bad as you say she is then you really shouldn't be using her for childcare.

I'm quite sure you wouldn't pay a CM to look after them if she was as bad as you say your MIL is.

[Sirzy]

She should have checked with you first really

[usualsuspect]

Maybe she was just checking with the nursery it was ok , before she asked you?

[valiumredhead]

I know what I would do - nothing! 3 days away sounds bliss, if my MIL wanted to take my ds out of nursery I wouldn't have a problem.


Maybe she has a nice day out planned - why don't you just ask her?

[Mayisout]

Be very, very, very, very, very, very grateful that you have someone to help with DCs and mention it if you must but otherwise just think yourself v etc lucky.

[ChocolateBiscuitCake]

My MIL is not bad, she is just too opinionated. The children will be safe and they love her dearly.

In this instance I am very angry that she has crossed a boundary that is not hers to cross.

[SCOTCHandWRY]

I think your MIL was asking the nursery if it was POSSIBLE for the children to have a day off with her, without causing them/you problems, maybe she wants to look into something (a special day out) before asking you?