To have said this to my family?

[dribbleface]

We are all going on holiday next week (grandparents, us, brother, wife etc). We had a day out last weekend in the same group. They are lovely and we have a great time but...........DS1 (4 years) is generally a good boy but can be silly and naughty at times. They all seem to think i'm too strict with him but thats another issue.

I mentioned that when we are away it would be helpful if they could not echo everything I say to him when disciplining him. I added I had no problem with them telling him off if they notice something etc but if I am already dealing with it to leave me to it (they seriously just repeat what i'm saying). I put it better than that but that is the general gist of it. My reasoning is that it just adds to the attention (which he loves), stresses me out and causes the situation to escalate.

I get the impression they were put out by it, was I unreasonable?

[Feminine]

YANBU :)

I suspect they were trying to help, but its bloody annoying.

I'm in a similar situation right now staying with G/parents

I get it :) hopefully as he gets older there will be less need for the 'help'

[dribbleface]

Feminine - I'm sure its done to help but it drives me up the wall! I lived with my inlaws for 4 months once (house sale fell through at 18 weeks, grrr) but fortuntately we had no kids then so it wasn't to much of a strain (on them or us!)

[Feminine]

Just hang in there...that is what i'm doing ;-)

Good luck!

[Greatdomestic]

God my MIL does this all the time and it drives me bonkers. A child doesn't need a whole chorus of people telling them off.

Just try to stay calm and repeat that you're dealing with it thanks. smile sweetly

[anniemcphee]

YANBU - he is your child so its your rules. It annoys me when I am handling a situation with my DD or DS and MIL or FIL wade in all guns blazing making things worse.
They do the same with BIL and his kids. On one occasion my niece was throwing an almighty strop at PIL, BIL calmed her down, she was just going quiet when FIL piped up about how she shouldn't be doing paddies at this age blah blah blah. Thus causing a new tantrum from my niece worse than the first.
I have had falling outs with them myself as I said if I am in the room and witness the behaviour let me parent my child, its my job. If I am not there (ie sleepovers) you are welcome to sort it out. They can't help themselves.

[bigjoeent]

I agree completely, drives me nutty but in my case they think I'm being too strict and just want to comfort him. Aaagh

[dribbleface]

greatdomestic I've been smiling sweetly for about 12 months! Funny enough its my mum that does it, my mil never ever interferes in anything. I'll practice my smiling! They do mean well and do lot's for us, Ds1 adore's them too. Hopefully they'll have got over it by next week!

[lou2321]

YANBU - you definitely needed to say something before you go so everyone knows where they stand and hopefully they will abide by your wishes and it will all go smoothly.

My dad and uncle fell out over a similar incident as my grandad kept telling my brother off even though my dad was dealing with it and my uncle didn't like it that my dad had a go at my grandad. They didn't speak for 20 years over this as it was a relatively small incident so it never really got sorted out until my grandad passed away and they were forced together.

[dribbleface]

you see that's what i don't understand, they tell me I'm too strict but then join in telling him off!

[SooticaTheWitchesCat]

YANBU I have to say this to my mum all the time. I feel if I am dealing with an issue then for her to be having a go at the same time is just really unhelpful.

[dribbleface]

I don't think we will fall out, guess that's what I'm trying to avoid, me snapping. Must remember to pack lot's of wine!