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To be in shock four hour later

(491 Posts)
Rhinosaurus Tue 01-May-12 11:17:00

This morning, my son - the 15 year old

........ who cannot get out of bed.
........who misses two school buses a week because he gets out of bed at 0750 (bus leaves at 0800).
........who sits on the sofa and stuffs food wrappers down the side rather than walk across the room to the bin.
.........who goes to put something in the dishwasher, but when he sees it is full of clean stuff having just finished its cycle, stacks plates and cups up on the worktop waiting for someone else to empty it.
.........who puts clean clothes in the laundry basket rather than fold them up and put them away.

was downstairs in the kitchen today, dressed in school uniform, at 0730, emptying the dishwasher with a cup of tea made for me on the table.....

Is he on drugs?

Is there a major unreasonable request coming up, requiring girding of the loins......


Thumbwitch Tue 08-May-12 13:11:29

Rhino, have just found this thread and read it all through - your Kevin and all his mates have been brilliant to look after Dave so well, good lads all of them.
Shame his run of exemplary behaviour has stopped but it's probably more comfortable having the old-style Kevin back again, isn't it?

Poor Dave - I hope he is allowed to come and stay with you some weekends. What a horrible situation his homelife must have been sad

I bet you hugged all your DC that bit tighter when you found out. You should be extremely proud of Kevin though - he's a great mate to have.

Fimbo Mon 07-May-12 19:14:28

Ah maybe your Kev will turn out okay then Rhino, he was trying to stick by his mate. Such a shame for poor Dave though.

Lemele Sat 05-May-12 21:01:34

Such a lovely thread; all the best for Dave and well done to Kevin and friends.

It's refreshing to read something positive about teenagers (boys particularly). There's a big train of thought that just because boys tend to keep sensitive things hidden they must be nothing but pains in the neck. I'm from a large family and my younger brothers are just going through their teenage years now, and it's fascinating to see just how lovely they are despite their outward appearances. I can't wait for my own boys to grow up! (Currently 23 months, 1 month and 1 month, so a little while yet... grin )

ReindeerBollocks Sat 05-May-12 16:57:49

I was not expecting that! At least he has the right sense of values, to be helping his friend. Surely they must have all realised how scary this situation was for Dave? I doubt they'd gone to the same trouble if it was an Xbox wielding friend with poor behaviour. Sounds like they understood the serious nature of Daves predicament.

At least Dave is away from his parents and has great mates who will keep him in school while his life is chaotic.

You raised a good'un there Rhino. It must be nice to know he is heading towards sensible adult, even if there will be more teenage mishaps along the way probably including the big booted blonde girl from the village

BackforGood Sat 05-May-12 15:54:36

AW, Rhino, you must be so proud of your ds.
I started reading the thread, ticking all the boxes for his "normal" behaviours, comparing with my (soon to be 16 yr old) ds, but filled up when I read what really happened.
Going to give my ds an extra hug when I pick him up later today obviously not in front of his mates, thinking about poor Dave.
I hope he stays local and is able to stay in touch with his great friends.

WhoremoaneeGrainger Fri 04-May-12 21:22:20

Aw Rhino. You should be so so proud. And poor Dave. What a sad life those boys must have had at home.

alarkaspree Fri 04-May-12 19:43:10

I think only a teenage boy having a really shit time at home would be willing to spend three days in a tent in a rainy field. The sulking-over-xbox type would have gone home when he got hungry and bored.

giraffesCantDonateBoneMarrow Fri 04-May-12 18:51:41


stealthsquiggle Fri 04-May-12 17:40:33

Rhino, I don't honestly think they would have done - they are old enough, and seem sensible enough, to differentiate between the "yeah, parents are bastards, hard luck, now go home" type situation and the "that's really shit and you CAN'T go home" type one which was what happened. [hopeful]

...anyway, if it had been a teen with parents who gave a damn they would have been on the phone and other parents would have been interrogating questioning their own Kevins and one of them would have cracked. It's only because poor old Dave has crap parents that it took as long as it did for the fact that he was "missing" to come to your attention, after all.

fuzzpig Fri 04-May-12 17:38:46

How rare for a thread to be both heartbreaking and heartwarming.

Well, your lovely boy might be back to his lie-ins and crusty pants, but I bet the appreciation for you sticks. I reckon when somebody is such a good friend, they don't lose that.

Rhinosaurus Fri 04-May-12 17:33:48

The only thing which concerns me is what if they had hid one of their mates who had nice caring parents, but had run away over a trivial thing like not being allowed on Xbox until 3am? Would they have done the same thing?

fenellamae Fri 04-May-12 16:08:27

Bum, posted after reading first page, thinking it was today. Am a complete fuckwit must take more vitamin D. Ignore me please.

CinnyCall Fri 04-May-12 14:49:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.


This website might help

Maybe something like this.

Don't feel under pressure to do anything. I just wanted to show that there are other ways you can make a positive contribution to young peoples' lives without the scale of commitment that foster care requires.

SpringHeeledJack Fri 04-May-12 13:34:10

the sweetest thing is realising that they can be utter bastards Kevins at home, but still look after each other

oh god am off again

MySweetPrince Fri 04-May-12 13:10:59

Couldn't type for a bit as my screen has gone all blurry and I appear to have something in my eye....poor Dave but what a wonderful son you have

SpringHeeledJack Fri 04-May-12 13:02:22

oh god

hadn't seen this since the first day, and popped on for a chuckle

now have tears hopping down face like a twat

what a love

CaptainHetty Fri 04-May-12 12:37:26

Jax I'm in Bucks and I've done a bit of volunteering for homestart and a few other charities who work with children and teens. Last year I did a bit with a charity who organise days out and activities for children who care for a parent and get very little time to themselves, which was really rewarding. Perhaps until yours are a bit older and your OH perhaps a bit more agreeable you could look at something like that?

Do-it is really good for finding things local to you and you can narrow it down by what sort of thing you're looking for, as well smile

JaxTellerIsMyFriend Fri 04-May-12 12:29:40

chaz I am in S Bucks.

CinnyCall Fri 04-May-12 11:42:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.


Why don't you start a new thread
AIBU to be incredibly proud of my teenage son

Jax depending where you live there are probably local charities and organisations which support young people who would be only too glad of your help.

Charities like these
south wales
kids company angel

Rhinosaurus Fri 04-May-12 11:36:02

I am just as bad, my money was on the new girl in the village, specially as she is slim with long blond hair and quite big boobies

Perhaps I should ask MN to move this to the teen forum?

Mrsjay Fri 04-May-12 11:16:48

jax maybe wait until your own children are up a bit and consider fostering again maybe your husband will feel differently , I Did befriending with teens a few years ago through Barnados its hard work sometimes especially as some teens have harrible chaotic lives , but it was worthwhile to see them being kids again for an hour ,

DumSpiroSpero Fri 04-May-12 11:16:32

Jax - perhaps volunteering for Homestart might be worth considering?

OP - your lad sounds like an absolute star - you must be ridiculously proud of him!

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