To agree or to refuse?

[Mama1980]

Hi I posted here a while back asking if I bu in thinking my scars shouldn't matter in my brothers wedding pics- long story short I am badly scarred including in my face following a car crash, I truly don't care, wear a bikini etc my sons friends think its awesome as i told them to figure out what type of creature made them cue dinosaurs/sharks etc :) I am supposed to be bridesmaid for my brother when my sister in law to be started fussing and asked me to find some way to cover my scars-tbh I was very hurt we discussed it (brother to my defence) I offered to withdraw from either the wedding party/photos or both but brother wouldn't hear of it. Now future sister in law has asked me to cover up with a wrap and has not mentioned this apparently to my brother- oh this is such a headache I don't want to cause a row but my dd 14 is ready to boycot the whole thing if I am made to cover up -she s very protective. I just can't seem to get my sister in law to well view things normally! So should I give in and cover up as best I can or refuse? And she is being unreasonable isn't she? I haven't lost all sense of perspective? Thanks in advance for reading this- last time I received many helpful words so I'm just asking your perspective again.

[Pandemoniaa]

Yes, she is BU. I truly detest these people who appear to think that their wedding is merely an occasion to recreate some sort of OK Magazine photoshoot.

[Vix286]

She is B very U!

I remember your post from last time, I can't believe she is behaving like this!

No words of wisdom apart from someone (your brother I think) should tell her to get a grip.

[shushpenfold]

I would tell you brother...sorry SIL!

[Vix286]

If you were in a wheelchair would she have you propped up for the pictures?

Sorry, it just makes me so cross!!

[OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos]

She is being unreasonable.

Are you sure it's because of your scars that she wants you to cover up? Could it be that it's a church so she feels it's more appropriate, or will it genuinely look nicer? Could there be another BM onthe same outfit that prefers to wear a wrap and she wants you to look the same?

I'm just trying to see the best in your future sil here!

If you are sure she just wants to hide your scars, then she is a bitch.

[bumblebeader]

She is being absolutely unreasonable! Don't cover up, and good for your DD for sticking up for you. What a treasure!

[SmellsLikeTeenStrop]

Your SIL is being very unreasonable and very rude.

[EldritchCleavage]

Heavens, why did she ask you to be a bridesmaid if it bothers her so much? I think she is being really unkind, and you are being perfectly reasonable to refuse.

[madmouse]

Value yourself and please never again agree to withdraw yourself from anything. You are still you and you deserve to be accepted just as you are whether or not your scars are actually hard to look at. And I know it's a cliche but your SIL is lacking a certain inner beauty.

[NarkedPuffin]

Is he sure he wants to marry her? She sounds like a shallow, unpleasant human being.

[Siddhartha]

what a cow! - i can't imagine what is going through her head.

suggest she keeps her veil on to spare spoiling the photos with her sour face!

[NarkedPuffin]

Outraged
'sister in law to be started fussing and asked me to find some way to cover my scars'

[Springforward]

That is shockingly bad behaviour from your SIL-to-be. She is BVU. You shouldn't have to cover up.

[Kladdkaka]

Definately she is being extremely unreasonable.

[Codandchops]

Tell her to get stuffed (well perhaps not in quite those words) but tell her that these comments are hurtful. She SHOULD realise this and it's terrible that she doesn't.

[AWomanCalledHorse]

WTAF? She is being Queen.Unreasonable of BVUdom. What an utter shitty bitch.
:(
If she's that fookin bothered she can photoshop you out of the piccies.

[SoupDragon]

I would withdraw from being a bridesmaid and choose whatever outfit I wanted to wear.

[Fifivisage]

This is outrageous, she sounds awful. I am so sorry you are going through such thoughtless and needless stress. What do your parents say?

[Ghoulwithadragontattoo]

Giving SIL benefit of the doubt here - is it possible that the wrap is just part of the outfit she wants bridesmaids to wear? I had one when I was a bridesmaid and it was mainly to to keep the chill off. She may not have told your DBro because it's only a small accessories issue??

[GravyHadALumpyMashBaby]

I remember your previous thread OP. I think you need to stand your ground. You told her you wouldn't wear the make up and she shouldn't think this a negotiation.
I'd call my brother and say I was uncomfortable with being asked to cover myself in a different way. You said no. Offered to not be bridesmaid. This is an issue in their relationship, not something for you to worry about.

[Codandchops]

Is the wrap something ALL the bridesmaids will be wearing?

[OrmIrian]

Unbeleivable!

Sorry you are being treated this way.

[fullofregrets]

Disgusting and mean.

I think you should back out unless you can wear what you want to on your terms.

I can't understand why she is making such an issue out of this. It is totally unreasonable.

[Itsjustafleshwound]

She is being unreasonable. The issue is would you really find it hard or a big issue if you did cover up? Just to keep the peace and be the better person?