About visiting my dad

[Bettyonholiday]

Hi mumsnetters,

I would like to know whether you think I ABU.

I am the child of divorced parents, and lived with my mum whilst growing up. School holidays were spent with my dad until I was in my teens.

My issue is that my dad has NEVER been to visit me at uni, in any of my flats or houses, not when either of my 2 children were born and not in my new house. I'm nearly 40 now (EEK!!) and am pretty gutted that the only relationship we have is basically on the phone. I really thought my babies would mean a visit, but no! He is rather a bohemain type and reckons he hasnt got anyone to look after his chickens, either that or his car wouldntbe able to do it. (I am not joking about the chickens, that is the main reason).

I have been to see him many many times, and the journey takes about 2-3 hours by car.

But now I find myself not wanting to go and visit because I think he should come to see me, and also with a baby and toddler in tow, it would be much harder for me. AIBU to not visit? I havent seen him for a while now and dont want to start being silly about this.

PS I have mentioned it to him a few times, but I dont htink he knows how much it bothers me.

[MissVforVendetta]

I don't think YABU, it's about his turn IMO.

Tell him how much it bothers you though.

[Kayano]

Tell him how much it bothers you

Spell it out

Dancing and
Skirting around the issue isn't going to change anything.

If he still doesn't make an effort... His loss

[ImperialBlether]

He sounds like he has a huge sense of entitlement.

I wouldn't visit him now - it's clearly his turn. He hasn't seen your new house and you have two small children. It's his turn.

When you speak to him next, say, "So when are you coming to see me?" If he suggests he won't be, just say, "Oh okay then dad; I thought you might visit me given you've never been here yet. But hey, what does that matter - I'm only your daughter." Then slam the phone down.

Not sure whether wine has had an impact on this reply!

[hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman]

He sounds like my parents. They can visit my sister who lives 9 miles from me but never come here. I am always the one to visit them. I don't have an answer but it hurts doesn't it?