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To have never had an orgasm during sex?

(93 Posts)
SamuelWestsMistress Wed 04-Apr-12 20:16:59

Hmmm.

I've been with my DH since I was 17 and i'm 33 now. I had a few boyfriends before and DH and I split up briefly twice when I was in my early 20s for a couple of years in grand total, so I am not a stranger to the cock and have experienced probably 1/2 a dozen.

However I have NEVER had an orgasm during sex. Never even been close and none of the blokes I've ever been with have actually given me one because quite frankly it takes so bloody long!

Rampant Rabbit, however, is there in a flash.

Now it's even further away than ever as I've had 3 kids and it's last hotdog in the tin and all that jazz.

AIBU? I think I am. Or at least my fanjo-bob is. Why will I only climax with a rabbit shaped bit of vibrating rubber? (which, I should add, I have misplaced and haven't seen since before Christmas.)

angry

lolajane2009 Wed 04-Apr-12 20:18:49

thats not unusual tbh.

JustHecate Wed 04-Apr-12 20:19:00

Well, I wouldn't say it's something that you're being unreasonable to not have had grin It's not like you made the decision not to.

You need more foreplay. Really, you should be 'there' before penetration. Talk to your husband about it.

ParsleyTheLioness Wed 04-Apr-12 20:19:10

It is known that The Rabbit reduces the sensitivity of one's lady bits. How long does it take you without, to give us more info?

cheesesarnie Wed 04-Apr-12 20:19:31

leave the bastard wink

ParsleyTheLioness Wed 04-Apr-12 20:20:23

Hecate the voice of reason...I luffs Hecate <waves>

JustHecate Wed 04-Apr-12 20:20:48

It apparently takes the 'average' woman 20 minutes. That's 20 minutes of focused attention. So, like I say. Foreplay.

<wanders off to clear browsing history>

JustHecate Wed 04-Apr-12 20:21:21

Don't luff me on an orgasm thread. People will talk.

grin

Tintinsginga Wed 04-Apr-12 20:21:37

Foreplay - if it's done properly, should fix that.

CruciFlisspaps Wed 04-Apr-12 20:24:44

Parsley I thought it was complete bollocks that using a vibrator made you 'less sensitive'? It's certainly never been an issue for me.

Mistress It's not unusual to not orgasm through penetrative sex. In fact, most women don't. It doesn't involve stimulating the right bit!

JasperJohns Wed 04-Apr-12 20:25:19

What does your DH think about this most unsatisfactory arrangement OP?

He is just not trying hard enough grin

lalaland3008 Wed 04-Apr-12 20:25:22

We need more information...

Can you only come with a rabbit, what about oral sex or foreplay?

It's not unusual to not come with sex alone as orgasm requires clitoral stimulation but if your dp cannot make you come at all then that would be a problem grin

cheesesarnie Wed 04-Apr-12 20:25:58

'Don't luff me on an orgasm thread. People will talk'.

this is why i love mn.

Goawaybob Wed 04-Apr-12 20:27:21

"so I am not a stranger to the cock and have experienced probably 1/2 a dozen." Quote of the day!!! love it!

I don't cum from penetrative sex either. And i take AGES, so most times i either dont cum (im not actually bothered) or do myself, if however we have time, DP gets jaw ache grin

SamuelWestsMistress Wed 04-Apr-12 20:27:25

Pfffffffffffft.

Takes about 10ish minutes maybe then I have a crapgasm. But at least a crapgasm is better than a nogasm. They're getting slightly crapper as time goes on too. I'm blaming the birth of DS2, everything else about my body has just gon EURGH sine then (that's been 2 years). But he has the CUTEST dimples ever so I can't be too cross...

I think DH has given up, I don't blame him to be honest I get bored of trying after about 20 minutes.

It's frustrating because sometimes I just want to be bent over and well...I'm sure you can guess the rest.

lalaland3008 Wed 04-Apr-12 20:30:49

Maybe you're trying too hard. Nothing like a bit of pressure to stop you from coming.

Any fantasies you can play (even in your mind) out that can help you along the way?

ParsleyTheLioness Wed 04-Apr-12 20:32:13

So by that, you're twice as QUICK as the average woman...

SamuelWestsMistress Wed 04-Apr-12 20:32:51

Oh and he never achieves anything during foreplay either. Not even close. It takes too long then his arms get tired or he falls out of rhythm.

I know it's not his fault it's my VU Fanny.

Selfish.

I wan't amazing knee trembling sex like they have in books and stuffs. Never. Gonna. Happen.

lalaland3008 Wed 04-Apr-12 20:32:55

And I'm off to tell my dp I'm a lot quicker than average so to never complain grin

TheLastHairyBunnyHop Wed 04-Apr-12 20:33:32

I'm in a similar position to the OP, except, er, without the Rabbit if you get my drift blush. Not a chance during penetration, but on my own with a bit of erotica I'm there in no time.

Problem is that foreplay doesn't do it for me either. I get so far and then get uncomfortable because it's just taking so long. Doesn't help that dh just lies there with his eyes closed and I'm not always sure that he's even still awake. (This is manual not oral as I don't like that.) I've tried reading the erotica beforehand, but not even that seems to help.

Am encouraged by the notion that it takes the average woman 20 minutes or something, but can I just ask - what does your OH actually do for those 20 minutes? The same thing or different things?

lalaland3008 Wed 04-Apr-12 20:33:34

Do you fancy him?

GoGoBananas Wed 04-Apr-12 20:34:30

Try never having had one op.

SeaHouses Wed 04-Apr-12 20:34:45

Do you mean you don't have an orgasm during the entire sexual encounter or that you don't have an orgasm during penetration?

Loads of women don't have orgasms during penetration.

I don't know why I'm commenting on this thread as I don't have a vibrator and am not entirely sure how they lead to an orgasm or how they are preferable to hands.

ParsleyTheLioness Wed 04-Apr-12 20:34:45

Amazin knee trembling sex is usually with people you have not had long relationships with is more difficult with all the mundane life-stuff getting in the way.

curiositykitten Wed 04-Apr-12 20:34:47

You are not alone. I've never orgasmed during sex. In fact, I've never orgasmed with a man. Only on my own, with a toy.

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