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AIBU?

to not want DP to do work experience?

22 replies

FeedZombieEatSmartie · 02/03/2012 15:00

DP was made redundant end of '11. Is on JSA, trying to get another job and is also the SAHP to our 11 month old DS.

He went for a meeting at the job centre the other day to discuss possibly doing a course but they told him he is on the edge of the cut off point with his age. So he would have to pay all fees and receive no help. He was willing to do that, is getting quite down about still being unemployed. So they recommended he sign up for the workfare system to do work experience. The next day he gets a phonecall from them to say they had found him somewhere to do events organisation work experience. He is currently meeting the manager of the place for an informal chat. Will probably start Monday. For a few weeks.

Now, I'm all for improving his CV etc but this means finding child care at a very short notice as I work 4 days per week. Luckily I work in a nursery but it doesn't mean DS will be guaranteed a space due to ratios. But its also the cost. We're looking at around ÂŁ200 for a couple of weeks of DP being on this work placement to cover childcare costs. We simply don't have it. We get very little help by way of benefits because i work and have to live week by week. It's a struggle, sure, but we grit our teeth knowing it won't be forever.

I just don't see us being able to buy the basics if we fork out for the childcare. As much as I want to support DP doing what he wants to improve our situation, I don't want him to be back to square one after the placement but a couple of hundred quid down.

AIBU?

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blondie80 · 02/03/2012 15:38

Can you just confirm, your dp has been unemployed for a few months only?

What course is he at the cut off point for with his age? I didn't think you could be too old to do a course?

yanbu not to want him to do this work experience, but you say he is getting quite down so perhaps it will lift him a bit to know he is trying and keeping positive.

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WorraLiberty · 02/03/2012 15:40

Tough one really

Obviously your DH wants to do it or he wouldn't have signed up.

Why did he sign up if doing unpaid work means you can't afford childcare? Confused

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OTheHugeManatee · 02/03/2012 15:45

YANBU to feel this is just a stretch too far but I would try and make it work if you can, even though it is a gamble as there's no guarantee anything will come of it. When I was made redundant at the end of 2008 it took nearly 9 months to find a permanent job again; during that time I did quite a few stretches of working for free, just to keep my hand in and stop myself getting really depressed. It turned out to be huge help in terms of finding new work, and I got bits and pieces of freelance work out of it as well. You say your DP is feeling quite down - it could really boost him to get out and about and be doing something.

Could you sell something to raise a bit of childcare money? Is there anyone (friends, family etc) who might be able to help?

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BackforGood · 02/03/2012 15:54

I agree with OTHM this is about your dh's mental health and self esteem. As it is only for a short time, might there be some friends or family who might be able to help out with some of the childcare, to keep the bilss down ?

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porcamiseria · 02/03/2012 16:03

thats a tough one, does he WANT to do this? can you reduce time given childcare issue so take 4 days holiday, then just pay for 2 weeks|?

the problem is, if he's taking JSA, he is a job seeker. NOT a SAHD

thats unfortunately the distinction

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Throughgrittedteeth · 02/03/2012 16:04

Is it possible for you to take holiday while he does it?

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lottiegb · 02/03/2012 16:18

As porcamiseria said, Jobseeker and SAHM Dad aren't compatible. JSA comes with the condition that you are actively seeking work, so will go for interviews at short notice and start any job you're offered pronto.

I appreciate that much job-seeking can be done from home with a computer and phone but some of it can't. Also that money is tight and if he did suddenly get a job you could pay for childcare.

If the work experience might really help his chances - and it's hard to know until he does it - it's probably a good idea, especially if it motivates him a bit. It's essential to keep up a bit of momentum, human contact and confidence when job-hunting. OTOH are there any courses he can do on-line from home that might help? Any useful groups he can attend, or voluntary work he could do and take your son along?

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anastaisia · 02/03/2012 17:43

Has he asked the job centre if there is any help with childcare costs? And are you entitled to the childcare element of child/working tax credits if you're living just on your income and he does work experience?

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Threeprinces · 02/03/2012 18:22

Will they not pay child are costs? I'm sure years ago when I claimed Jsa for a short period there was help with child are costs for courses etc, is workfare not the same?

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FeedZombieEatSmartie · 02/03/2012 20:00

The company he'll be doing the placement with did mention help with childcare but as he starts on Monday, he won't be able to get to the job centre until he has a morning or afternoon off. And the placement isn't for a few weeks, its for 8. So thats an extra 2 months of unemployment, but working and need childcare. Grr.

Yes he does want to it, for his own self-esteem, understandable. I am hoping they can help with childcare costs, otherwise we are up shits creek with no paddle. And yes, he knew this them he signed up but thought the long term benefits outweighed the short term cons.

I know he is not an actual SAHD, I just meant that DS is not in any childcare and is looked after by DP whilst I work. He has been unemployed since November.
He said it sounds like good experience, the manager really liked him and he will kind of be stepping in her shoes whilst at meetings etc. It looks like a heavy workload for no money! But, he has decided to do it so that is that.

I just really hope we can get help with the care costs.

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FeedZombieEatSmartie · 02/03/2012 20:03

I do actually have a week off at the end of the month for DS' birthday so that's one week less I guess.

And that should say when, not them, in my previous post.

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SerialKipper · 02/03/2012 20:13

Right. If your DP is under 24, this is the Work Experience that MPs have been saying all week is voluntary for the first week and compulsory after that.

If your DP wants to do this, but the JobCentre haven't sorted out the childcare expenses yet, tell the manager that he can't start Monday. Otherwise you may never get the childcare paid back.

He can perfectly truthfully tell the manager he is keen and would love to start ASAP but is waiting for the JobCentre to sort out paperwork.

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troisgarcons · 02/03/2012 20:21

Is on JSA, trying to get another job and is also the SAHP to our 11 month old DS.

finding child care at a very short notice as I work 4 days per week.

I know he is not an actual SAHD, I just meant that DS is not in any childcare and is looked after by DP whilst I work.


Pprobably I am going to be totally unsympathetic BUT he is getting JSA for being a SAHP. The whole object of Job Seekers Allowance is, well to facilitate seeking a job. Not saving child minding fees.


Sorry but, having been made redundant in a previous life, as a married woman I was entitled to NOTHING - not even a training course.

I have zero sympathy for someone who won't enhance their CV with an opportunity offered.

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shewhowines · 02/03/2012 20:27

Yes but trois- if he actually had a job he could afford childcare. The issue isn't that he doesn't want to work but is claiming JSA, but that whilst he is not being paid he can't afford childcare.

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FeedZombieEatSmartie · 02/03/2012 20:47

It's a new welfare scheme for over 25's. He wants to do it (did you miss that bit trois?) but said its not compulsory. After the 8 weeks this executive lady said she will act as a reference on his CV.

Its just 2 months more of unemployment, him 'working' and having to pay the exorbitant childcare fees. Money we don't have.

He was so keen to give a good impression, that's why he agrees to start Monday.

I'll phone tax credits tomorrow to see if they can help.

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WhereYouLeftIt · 02/03/2012 20:52

OP, how was childcare managed before your DP was made redundant?

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KateSpade · 02/03/2012 20:53

I do work placement, not the workfare program - i'm an Intern but i don't get any help with childcare fee's whatsoever, no working tax credits, no help from student finance - i'm still a student, so without family help, i wouldn't be able to do it. I understand what a bastard it is trying to work out how your going to pay fee's, its bloody awful.

I hope it all works out, does it mean he won't be looking for a paid job elsewhere whilst he's doing that? Or is he hoping it'll lead to paid employment?

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FeedZombieEatSmartie · 02/03/2012 20:57

I was on maternity leave when he was made redundant.

Yes he can still look, the job centre won't insist on it because of the placement but he will still look. It most likely won't lead to full time employment as this woman wants to help people in unemployment.

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SerialKipper · 02/03/2012 21:00

The new welfare scheme for over-25s is a lot hazier, you have to be careful what you're signing up to and JobCentres don't necessarily give you accurate information.

When researching workfare, I found schemes gong back to 2008 where one woman was still trying to get childcare or travel paid 6 months later - exactly same story of "JC staffer isn't available but you should just start work anyway", and then JC didn't cough up.

Trois, if you were made redundant, surely you were entitled to contribution-based JSA? Unless it was only a part-time job and Mr Trois earned too much for income-based JSA/Income Support.

(Obviously people on JSA need expenses paid because it's supposed to be a minimal amount in the first place. If he was being paid a wage to work then he'd be more able to afford childcare, etc, and would presumably also get Tax Credits.)

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peekabooby · 02/03/2012 23:23

I was under the impression that those doing "workfare schemes" got help with childcare costs. As he has been claiming for less than 12 mths it is voluntary up until he has worked the first day. I would do as suggested and sort out childcare cost before he actually starts.

If the worst comes to the worst and he doesn't gain perm employment, eight weeks of childcare is going to put a major strain on your finances.

Good luck, hope it all works out :)

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porcamiseria · 03/03/2012 09:32

what trois said

I see its really hard, but you will have to work something out

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Throughgrittedteeth · 03/03/2012 09:45

Of course it's hard and they'll have to work something out porc, but that's why she's come on here, to ask for our advice! Hmm
Very helpful

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