To feel like i've been kicked out of mother and baby group

[skyberry]

Ok I know i'm blowing this out of all proportion but have been taking DD2 to a really lovely baby music group for just over 2 years. She loves going and really looks forward to it and has made some friends there.

Numbers have increased over the last few months as it is so popular.

Anyway we were told that as of this week the first 20 families there would be allowed to sign up as they were having to restrict numbers due to health and safety.

We were about the 22nd to arrive and were told tough we've reached capacity and thats that. Our names have been put down on a waiting list but I don't hold out much hope.

Basically I know this is a petty thing to get upset about but I can't stop crying. Really feel like i've let DD down. She was so dissappointed.

I've just started maternity leave (pregnant with DC3) and really feel like a life line has been cut off. The thought of starting a new group fills me with horror as I lack confidence and find I end up feeling like an outsider as everyone already seems to know each other.

Ok rant over tell me to get a grip.

[annh]

Well, you're pregnant and hormonal so you are allowed to be upset! However, if this is a baby music group and you have been attending for over two years, there's probably a hint there that it is time to move on somewhere else anyway! Surely there must be other groups that you could attend, possibly with some of the other parents who went to this previous group and then you would already know people?

[hiddenhome]

You should just find another group. I used to take ds2 to Musical Minis and they had groups in other areas. There must be something similiar perhaps in a neighbouring town? Don't worry about meeting other people. You might even meet a new friend if you branch out a bit. Try and see this as an opportunity

[PotteringAlong]

Ooh, I love musical minis!

[ChippingInNeedsCoffee]

Get a grip.

Not really, it's not much fun being hormonal, esp if you are a little bit shy/lacking in confidence anyway.

It's a crap way they have gone about it.

However, try 'Music with Mummy', for some reason they always seem to be friendly and nice groups. Sometimes some of the people know each other, but people have always talked to me and been friendly... go on, you can do it!

[switchtvoffdosomelessboring]

If they had to limit their numbers to 20 then it means that some people don't get to go. Don't take it personally. I do think that everyone who wants to go putting their name down and 20 being picked out a hat would have been fairer.

There is a good chance that they will put on another group though if there is enough people.

[Indith]

I think that is shit actually and a very unfair way of doing it. If numbers are a problem then you cap it at what you have and start a waiting list, you don't stop people from going.

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

Sounds like a shit system to me too. How can you have been going for 2 years and still not be high enough up the list to get a place?

[Scholes34]

It is really hard going to a new group and it does take time to settle in and feel accepted. You will find a new group, but do remember to not dismiss it immediately if you don't gel straightaway with everyone there!

[Nixea]

Is it a case of being high enough up the list though? I read it as the OP got there late and it was already full. Which is still unfair, but sightly less so IYSWIM?

[franchisee]

YANBU. It sounds like poor organisation to me. I run a music group franchise and I always give existing customers first refusal to rebook before admitting new ones. If they miss the booking deadline, they know they risk losing their place. Your group leader shouldn't have allowed the group to get that big in the first place.

[HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer]

I agree with what Franchisee has said. Existing/old customers should have been given priority.

[franchisee]

Can you ask the class leader to split the group, into two groups of 11/12. They would have to pay extra for hall hire (depending on whether it is hourly or by the morning/afternoon) but they should still be able to make a decent profit after hall hire/staff costs/royalties (if a franchise).

[GlueSticksEverywhere]

That's a rubbish way of doing it if it meant children turned up but weren't allowed in!

It's probably time to try out some other groups anyway.

[2rebecca]

If it's a BABY music group it would have made more sense to restrict it to babies ie below a certain age rather than first come first served.
I can understand you being upset but if people never stop going once their babies aren't babies then real babies won't get to go.

[skyberry]

Thanks for all of your replys feel a bit calmer and more rational now about the whole thing.
Totally understand why they had to restrict numbers. Just dissapointed I didn't get in and don't totally agree with how places were allocated.
Need to get a grip and try another group.
Think there is a musical minis in the area so maybe that one is worth a go.

[franchisee]

A lot of groups will run different sessions according to age (from baby classes up to preschoolers) and pitch the content, instruments and props according to the ability of the group. I assumed it was just a phrase in the title. However, if this group is running a mixed age group, you might find that your DD would benefit more from going to an age-specific class.

[numbertaker]

Toddler groups are my idea of hell.

[Lueji]

YANBU
They should have looked at who had been going for longer and take those people.

Although, did you arrive late? Or were people queueing up to be the first 20?

If numbers are that good, could they hold a second group?

[AgnesBligg]

What a pile of crap! Poor you and dd. Hopeless management of regular goers.

[franchisee]

If you're in my area I do free trials for newcomers OP. But it's probably different as we don't have any musical minis here.