To have remarked on this?

[ShagOBite]

Dinner in pub with DH and DDs (2.8 and 0.8)

A group of people sat near us, and were cooing at the baby, which was lovely. Then they start (quite loudly) discussing the differences between our children, and decide that the baby is much cuter and more fun etc. Older DD can hear this, understands and looks a bit sad. I'm sure they were clueless and assumed she was too young to understand, or maybe too wrapped up eating her food or whatever, but she was clearly upset.

So, I fairly loudly said "you're very cute too, aren't you xxx? And you're very fun", she replied "yes I am my good playing fun games". The group (one lady in particular) looked really embarrassed and we didn't speak any more.

Should I have just left it? Was it the right thing to do?

[hanaka88]

You did the right thing for your DD

[rumngingerbeer]

Who the fuck 'decided' one of your kids was cuter than the other? Who ARE these people?

[TheSinglePringle]

It was the right thing to do for your DD as she obviously understood what the people were saying. Some people don't think toddlers seem to have a understanding of what it said.

[Mumof1plustwins]

You definetly did the right thing! How rude and inconsiderate of them

Applaud your reaction

[LisaD1]

I think I would have done the same, although I'm not always that polite!

I guess the "right" thing to do would have been to politely ask them to stop discussing your DC as they were upsetting your DD.

[ShagOBite]

I know. I was shocked to be honest. They were sitting right by us.

[ShagOBite]

On of them even said something to us along the lines of "enjoy her (little DD), she won't be cute for very much longer". Maybe she just likes babies a lot?

[Cheddars]

I would've reassured my DD without embarrassing the other people.

[ShagOBite]

Kids of things - this one has bigger eyes and a bigger smile...

[ShagOBite]

How Cheddars? I guess I could have said the same thing but whispery. They were on the adjoining table so anything I said they probably would have heard. Plus, it made them stop.

[rumngingerbeer]

What is this 'she won't be cute for much longer' shit? My dd is 18 and still as cute as a button, my friends tell her she looks like Natalie Portman only better looking, and if that's not cute, what is? People are morons.

[Mumof1plustwins]

ShagOBite they were clearly being insensitive whether aware or not. At least now you've taught them that they are not the only people in the world!

[Goldenbear]

You did the right thing. How inconsiderate of them to not care about a little girl's feelings. I went for a meal with my DC on Valentines day and a couple near to our table said something similar in front of my 4 year old son. It was along the lines of babies at my DD's age (10 months) are so lovely, interacting but not talking all the time like older children and not boring like very young babies that don't do anything! DS heard.

[squeakytoy]

Was it not just a general conversation between themselves about how babies are much cuter than toddlers.. (I myself would disagree), but they may not have meant it personally to you.

[Cheddars]

Yes but I'm sure they weren't intending to hurt your other child. Babies are cute, cuter than toddlers on the whole. It is possible to agree with them while also reassuring your older child. My older dd is always telling people how cute her baby sister is, she doesn't expect the same reaction back, except from me.

[ShagOBite]

No squeaky, it was about our particular baby being cuter than our particular toddler (not true btw.), also with a general conversation too.

[WillowKnicks]

I get it all the time with my twin dd's and it never fails to amaze me how tactless people can be. One of my dd's is very 'chocolate box' pretty & strangers fawn all over her, whilst ignoring her sister who is stood right next to her. Someone even once asked me (in their hearing ffs) how I dealt with having one daughter so obviously superior in the looks department than the other

[ShagOBite]

[Cheddars]

That's completely different WillowKnicks and very rude.

[ChippingInNeedsCoffee]

Willow bloody hell.

Shag - you did exactly the right thing. People are just so rude & stupid.

[ballstoit]

Your DD must be very clever for 2.8 to understand what they were saying, without any explanation from you. DD2 is same age and wouldn't have a clue.

However, I still think you were right to say something, as the comments were rude and unnecessary.

[Birdsnotbees]

Ballstoit - my DS would have understood at that age.

OP - you did exactly the right thing. Your DD needed to have it said out loud, in front of the people on the other table, that they were talking shite. They were being very rude and incredibly insensitive. Good on you.

[ShagOBite]

She's fairly bright. I like to think so anyway! :)

[semtexinmypocket]

You were very restrained.

I probably would have done the same as you and I would have been SEETHING inwardly.

I have a similar age gap between my DDs and when DD2 was 8 months old I still felt guilty about DD1 having to share attention, worried she may feel second best etc. I didn't really move past the guilt of that until DD2 was 12 months and they started to play together.